SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Just Found Out
User Topic: Wedding rings what did you do?
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I took my wedding rings off on DDay which was about six weeks ago. My dilemma is that my sister designs jewelry, she designed and had my ring made with diamonds and sapphires that she already had. Long story short I got a $5000 ring for less than $700. My WH did not ask or arrange for any of this, it was something my sister wanted to do because we were renewing our vows after 24 years of M.
My sister is in terrible health so the whole family holds on a little tighter to things from her.
I was going to have the wedding band taken off and just wear it as a normal ring but I couldn't stand the thought of cutting up the ring my sister made. I can't stand to have it sit in the jewelry box, and I can't stand to wear it on my wedding finger. He was mid EA when we renewed our vows and turned it to a PA right after.
Just wondering what others have done with their rings.

We are working on R, my sister says if I wear it upside down on my right hand it is nothing more than a promise ring, a promise to try.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
scarednbroken
Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I will be selling mine. As a matter of fact I have already sold the promise ring and one Christmas ring he gave me. I will sell the wedding set after the D There are three anniversary bands that I am trying to sell that are worth over 3000 total - but the only connection these have are to him. There is no loving relative that made them for me and we are not goin for R. They will fund my lawyers fees. I am keeping both the fathers ring he refuses to wear and my mothers ring. Since they are linked to my kids. I may have stones reset from his ring into a mothers necklace.

I think your sisters idea is a good one. Or wear on the right hand instead of left.


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Hannah25
Member
Member # 42198
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I am going to have my ring made into a pendant. Why should I waste a nice diamond?


ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14

Posts: 64 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Ohio
undonelife
Member
Member # 38421
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Took my wedding ring off over a year ago & never put it back on. It was my mothers wedding ring. My engagement ring was too small for years & I wore another rring with my wedding band in place of it. We are in R but I don't feel I can wear either ring again. Doesn't mean anything to me now. I'll wait to see if he will suggest another one.


Me: BS 53 Him: WH 51
M: 28 years
DDay 11/25/12 TT 9/9/13
OW:20 yrs younger McOW
Kids: 2 teens

Posts: 186 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Dark Hell
Jls0320
Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Mine are in a drawer right now, I took them off 3 wks ago and although we are trying to reconcile I just can't seem to put it back on yet


Me: 33 BS 2 little boys
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 6yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 278 | Registered: Nov 2013
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I did take my sisters advice, looking at it is not as hard as I thought. Because it makes me remember my loving sister's gesture, not my WH.
I won't make any decision about the fate of it until I know what will happen in my M, I do know that it will never be my wedding ring again, but it could stay a promise ring if things work out.
If things do work out he is going to have to pay retail though, no more favors from my sis. Lol.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
RealityStinks
Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, February 17th (Monday)

My STBX's engagement ring has a "family stone" as the center diamond. I'll be putting that in the D agreement that I want it back. Probably put the entire set in there.

After removing the family stone, I'll be selling what's left, including my wedding band. I'll give the family stone to my sister.


Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
FoggedIn
Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I finally quit forcing myself to wear mine 5 weeks ago. Wh hadn't even noticed I wasn't wearing the ring that's been on my finger for the last 12 years. I mentioned it a couple of days ago and he sorta flipped! Mostly because I appear single without it on. (puke!) I reminded him that I am not Him!

The ring no longer represents what it did when he put it on my finger 12 years ago and it is painful to look at when it is on my finger. If we survive this, I will never be able to wear it again.

The diamonds in it, were his Mothers, so I haven't quite figured out what to do with it either. The idea of giving it to one of our boys for their wife one day, makes me ill! Seriously passing on that kind of karma? NO! But I don't want to look at it. Boy how I wish it was some little something from Zales. That would be easy to deal with, right?


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
scarednbroken
Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Suggestion - stones that are sentimental can be reset. The gold sold for scrap. lol. I would suggest passing to your son the stones and have him choose a setting that is meaningful for him and his fiancée (when the time comes).

(Was this a t/j? I'm still learning the etiquette)


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
SeaBillowsRoll
New Member
Member # 42460
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I, too, couldn't wear the rings again. After sitting in fWH's drawer, the stone is now being worn by my future daughter in law. It looks great and I was happy to see them so excited. The metal, still in the drawer. I have new rings now, appropriate for a new relationship we are still working on.


Me-BS 53 Him-WS 55
M-32 yrs
D Day Oct 18, 2012 3 Yr LTA
It is well with my soul
Reconciling

Posts: 14 | Registered: Feb 2014
SadInNC
Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I took mine off on DDay and even though we are in R, I still cannot put the ring back on. Since WH never wore his, it is a sore subject and I don't think I can ever wear that particular ring again. I will probably sell it.

Since your sister designs jewelry and she knows what's going on, maybe you could ask her to design a different ring for you using the same stones but not a wedding ring. If she doesn't have the strength to do that, could she draw a design? You could always have it done by another jeweler but it would still be her design.

It's a tough call because the ring has a double sentimental meaning for you.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Great idea, thank you.
Not deciding anything right this minute, just wondering what other people did and thought.
I also thought about giving the ring to her daughter when she gets married. Keep it in the family, but away from me.
Thanks to all of you.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
Sadden in OK
New Member
Member # 31791
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I wear my on my right hand. My wedding band was my grandmothers. We were really close she gave me the ring when I was 16. No matter what I will never give up my ring.

Posts: 31 | Registered: Apr 2011
justme29
New Member
Member # 41284
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I just tossed mine in the bottom of the closet after I saw a picture of them on her face book. The picture was taken after D-day, after I said it'd never work unless he got rid of her. He hasn't asked where it is. Although he has commented on my lack of jewelry. Specifically my not even wearing a watch.


Justme
BS - 49
WH -50
Married 30 years.
2 daughters, 1 granddaughter.
D-Day 11-14-11
Why am I still here?

Posts: 40 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Idaho
iamsoblind42
Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I seriously wanted to give it to my WH so he could pawn it and help pay off the debt he racked up that I did not know about but my IC was quick to point out that he may just spend it and not pay off any of the debt so instead I plan to sell it and take my kids on a vacation. It will never go on my finger again!!!


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 202 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
BryanP37
New Member
Member # 39685
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Gave my wedding ring to my younger sister after I flattened it out to melt down into whatever she pleases. My wedding band had an inscription inside that made me want to retch when I read it after Dday. Her wedding ring and engagement rings were both scrapped as well however the stone belonged to her mother.

It will be a while at best, if my ex and I R successfly and decide to remarry, there will be no more elaborate wedding jewelry. Just plain vanilla bands.

[This message edited by BryanP37 at 6:54 PM, February 20th (Thursday)]


BS: Me-38
XWS: Her-34
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her best friends husband. Other flings early in marriage confessed during discovery.
Divorce final 6-25-2013.
Carefully reconciling after divorce. 10/2013

Posts: 28 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas
Uhtred
Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Went right in the garbage.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 589 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
FoggedIn
Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I'm curious as to all of your Wh's wedding bands?

My Wh had his on while he had his tryst with a hooker. When I told him I wasn't wearing mine. I mentioned I would rather he wasn't wearing his since it clearly didn't mean anything to him since he didn't bother to take it off for the whore. Why would it mean anything now.

He took it off for a day, then came home and said he couldn't do it. It drove him crazy all day not wearing it and he put it back on.

I guess I'm torn about it. I want him to take it off, but I don't want him running around without one on either. There's a part of me that wondered if the reason he wanted to put it back on is because he's worried about what people think. I guess we are sort of well known in the community & he is extremely concerned about his image and the image of us as a couple.

So does your Wh wear his wedding ring? Do you want him to? Does he want to?


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
iamsoblind42
Member
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, February 17th (Monday)

I have no idea if my WH wears his. Can't look at him.


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 202 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, February 17th (Monday)

My WH has never worn one in 24 years. It has always been a sore subject with me. He had a job when we were first married that didn't allow any jewelry while at work because it was dangerous, so he just never wore one. He has 3 I have given him a long time ago.
I think it would really bother me if he wore one during his A, but then again there was no question about his marital status because she was my friend.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
IsthereEVERanend
Member
Member # 42216
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, February 17th (Monday)

WW, years after semi successful R had hers melted down for a new diamond setting, with my encouragement. It was her idea.


Me: Older than dirt
FWW 63
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot

The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Utah
BW2639
Member
Member # 34875
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, February 17th (Monday)

My fWW said that she and the OM always wore their rings while they were "together". I took mine off this winter when I was constantly putting on hand lotion. I have not put it back on...just don't want to wear it right now. We actually doing ok in R at the moment...can't really explain it. FWW hasn't noticed anyway...


married 21 yr
Reconciling

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2012
mandan66
Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, February 17th (Monday)

Mine is in a landfill somewhere....


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Sorceress
Member
Member # 33420
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Well, me and my POS ex were not married. Thank God for this, although at the time we were together, he would constantly get my hopes up about getting a proposal and then say "I only said it to see how you would react" or similar. Very cruel man. Anyway, when we had been together a year, he bought me a ring. It was only £125 which is about $200 and he made a beyond huge deal about the expense of it! But it was a pretty ring to start with. However, this ring became like a weird predictor of our relationship. It tarnished easily. It could be polished up to be sparkling on the outside, but on the inside it was dull. Filth would collect behind the stones where nobody could see it, but I could feel it niggling away at my finger, and I would have to dig in the grooves with a cocktail stick to get it all out. On closer inspection, the pretty stones were in quite clever illusion settings. They weren't as good as they appeared, it was all show. Some of them were cracked. Towards the end of our horrible relationship, stones started to fall out of the ring.

I took the ring off after d-day. Was guilt tripped and forced into putting it back on after a couple of months. It made my finger itch and bleed. Took it to a jeweller and he confirmed it was solid gold. It's like my body absolutely did not want that ring touching it. When it was finally completely done and dusted with me and the POS, I took the ring off, put it in a box and moved house. I have no idea where it is and if I ever come across it again, I will probably give it to a jeweller to melt down for scrap. I don't want anything to do with it.


me- BSo 30, happily in new relationship
him-ex wso 40, child sex offender
DD-6 DS-4
I look for the good and admirable in every soul. The people that seem to be neither are terrifying.

Posts: 510 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: UK
cantseestraight3
New Member
Member # 42112
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I took mine off on D-Day. I put it on the first time when we had a social engagement with friends from my son's school. It felt awful to put it on again, but I did not want to broadcast the fact that our marriage was in severe trouble.

I had noticed one of my co-workers noticing that I was not wearing the ring one day. I have since taken to putting the ring on just before work, and take it off as soon as I get into the car to drive home. Once again, this is to avoid broadcasting things that are not really anyone else's business.

The ring, and inscription, now represent promises broken, and I have to take a deep breath and swallow hard every time I put it on.

I asked her if she wore hers during the A. She said yes, never took them off. Didn't even have enough respect for me to do that, but I suppose that is a different topic.


MS M54
WS F45
D-Day 1/4/14

Posts: 13 | Registered: Jan 2014
homefront
New Member
Member # 40688
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

This was not an issue in my own experience, as WH wasn't allowed to wear his ring at the time due to his job, and I don't associate any real "A feelings' with my own rings, BUT...

A close friend in a similar situation bought a subtle costume piece she loves, and wears it in place of her rings. This keeps the appearance of commitment to the outside world, but is something SHE chose, SHE loves, etc.

She wears her wedding band on her right hand during periods of solid R, and even returned it and her engagement ring to her left hand for a brief time. Unfortunately things have since headed for D, and I believe she intends to use the "ingredients" (gold, diamonds) to make a heirloom ring to pass down within the family.


BS 37 (Family Law Attorney...yes, really)
WH 40
DDay Nov 7, 2012 after WH had A while deployed, terrible boundaries due to CSA.

So far, so good.


Posts: 19 | Registered: Sep 2013
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

my wife wore hers for the first ONS. it really hurts me. im not sure yet what to do with them.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 528 | Registered: Jan 2014
FoggedIn
Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I do wear a diamond ring on my right hand that I love. WH bought it for me for our 6th anniversary. It's probably the only gift I can recall he ever really 'got right' & our marriage was in a really good place at the time. So that right has happy thoughts for me.

Once or twice I've moved it to my left hand just to avoid being approached by men when I was out at dinner with my girlfriends. But even that was uncomfortable, but being hit on would've been more uncomfortable!


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
joannie
Member
Member # 42486
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Hi, was told i have joined the best site ever so here goes..We have been married for 34 years and mys husband had an affair last year January to August with a woman up the road from us. We live in a small hamlet and everyone knew but me. He ended it and stayed with me , but I cannot relax as she passes here every day 2 or 3 times..they still hace contact on the phone, but he says trust him it means nothing..will this die out, have ohters found this...it makes me feel ill, shaky and pains in the heart and stomach..I guess you all know that feeling, I am a very calm person normally but now live on my nerves and feel i have to now put a happy face on and not question him anymore..hard but from today it is the only way I think.Even if I know they have spoken I must not show it and put on a front...is that what we do ..
Please give some words of advice as sometimes I think I am going slowly crazy..We live in a small in fact tiny hamlet in France, nosy neighbours, one being the other woman's best friends mother !


me BS 56yr
Him WS 55yr
Married 34 years 2 sons 4 grandchildren

Posts: 126 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: France
outside4me
Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

She's still wearing my family heirloom (great grandmother's ring), I haven't worn mine since DDay 1/21/14. Trying for R, but it just doesn't feel good on my finger right now.

Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
silentscream13
Member
Member # 41693
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I haven't worn mine since dday. I left it on the sink in his soap dish. He brought it down and said you left this on this sink. I told him it meant nothing to him, so it now means nothing to me.

I threw it in a box somewhere. I will never wear that ring again, even if we R. He still wears his everyday. It means nothing to me either, because he wore it while he cheated.


ME: BS- 39; HIM: WS - 40 (lostmymind13)
OW: TechnicallyMarriedEx-GF - 47
Sexting,OEA/NO PA (but was planning it before he got caught)
D-day - 11-14-13
Together: Almost 18 years; Married: Almost 15 years
4 Children
Apologies: I edit. Often.

Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Nowhere and Everywhere
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

My rings have been in his jewelry box since January of 2010. I don't think he's even noticed. He still wears his. I have no idea why, it's not like he shows any remorse or any feelings towards me.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
dontknowwhyme
Member
Member # 21587
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I gave mine to the XWW after the final DDay. I made sure she understood it meant absolutely nothing to me anymore. I'm sure she pawned it that day.


BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.

Posts: 996 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
aero1122
Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

My rings have been in my jewelry box since d-day. My WH hardly ever wore his before because he is not allowed at work but since d-day he wears it all the time. He wasn't wearing it during the A not that it mattered. . She knew he was married.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 101 | Registered: Dec 2013
justpeace
Member
Member # 30804
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I took mine off too and wasn't sure what to do with it and felt I would never wear it again, which was such a shame since I loved my wedding set. I had too many emotions attached to that ring to leave it on my finger a day longer.
Now, after 7 long yrs since DD I decided to give it a trial run and see if I could wear them. It's been on my finger for about 2wks. When I look at the rings I see a story....not just a story filled with blind love in which the engagement ring was given 20+ yrs ago and promises that were broken but a story of the determination and hard work and more hard work to make our M work.

Not sure if my ring is quite as shiny and flawless as it once appeared to me but what a story it has to tell. I may wake up tomorrow and decide to put the ring away, but for today, it feels right. :)


BS(me)-late 40's
FWH-late 40's
3 teens
M-20+yrs
DDay 1/07

MOW- WAS my friend,STILL my neighbor.

Posts: 67 | Registered: Jan 2011
Dreamland
Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I made our wedding bands in my last year of grad school with a beautiful sapphire instead of a diamond for several reasons. We had no money and I was very particular of the design and I made it fit his finger exactly. It's was just a bit snug he could get it off and on but not being a jewelry guy felt it too tight. So after we got married he decided to enlarged it and they made it too large. So afterward he never wore it. Just a couple of times. I couldn't sleep with mine either so I knew our marriage was stronger than a ring. So my fWH didn't wear his ring. Fast forward 12 years and I lost my stone and didn't wear a ring and for an anniversary he bought me a beautiful ring with a small diamond that I wore occasionally. But then two years ago he cheated and I wore nothing.
We talked about wedding rings how the bitch kept telling him how he must be unhappy if he never wears a ring.
He choose not to fix his wedding ring and he didn't seem to care.
So after several months passed. So...Last year I bought a second hand wedding ring with diamonds that I liked because I felt like I needed something. Then he gets upset that I'm wearing a ring and bought it. I know my H. He would never go out and buy something like. Come on dude I walked with him into carrier and showed him the wedding bands I liked. They weren't the expensive ones either.
Then he finally gets his sized and asks about my ring. I joking says a want a huge diamond now that you fucked up. But not in my ring as it means nothing. He goes a puts a diamond in my ring. I really feel that me making our rings meant so much more.
So I wear my ring that I bought and my ring is at the jewelers still cuz I don't want to pay for a cheap diamond some downtown basement dude..


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Uhtred
Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I don't know what it is but the moment I found out my ring instantly came off. Although my wife and I are trying to R I'll never wear a wedding ring again. There is something about it that angers me to no end. I guess the visions of my wife sliding hers offs to go and fuck another man are with me forever. Before the affair I never took my ring off.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 589 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
million tears
Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I took mine off after D-day. WH then took his off. Boy, did he show me.

I started wearing it again when we decided to R. The diamond fell out of it recently but I found it. It was a miracle. But WH was going to get it fixed for Valentines day and couldn't find it. I had it on my dresser in a baggie with the ring but I can't find it either. Maybe, because of recent actions, it's a hint to me.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1663 | Registered: Jun 2009
SadInNC
Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Joannie,

I just read your post and I feel really bad for you. Hugs. I think you should post a new topic for yourself. More people will see it and be able to respond and give you advice.

Go back out to the main section under "Just Found Out" and in the upper right you will see "post new topic." There are so many people here who can help you.

I don't think your WH should have ANY contact with this woman at all. I understand that you said you live in a small Hamlet in Frnace but WH needs to run the other way whenever she is around. There is no reason whatsoever that he should be calling her at all. You should not have to put up with that.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
fst86411
Member
Member # 41644
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I took mine off on d day, but put it back on for a while. Finally removed it and told my WW that it just reminded me of all the hurt. Told her I would never wear it again but in time if we R that she could get me a new one. As for her that was one of the big signs for me. She took her rings off at the time of her affair. She now wears her rings, they were purchased by me so no sentimental value for me other than how I felt when I gave them to her.


Met 1997
Married 2002
D-Day July 8, 2012

Who knows what went on?


Posts: 61 | Registered: Dec 2013
fst86411
Member
Member # 41644
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I took mine off on d day, but put it back on for a while. Finally removed it and told my WW that it just reminded me of all the hurt. Told her I would never wear it again but in time if we R that she could get me a new one. As for her that was one of the big signs for me. She took her rings off at the time of her affair. She now wears her rings, they were purchased by me so no sentimental value for me other than how I felt when I gave them to her.


Met 1997
Married 2002
D-Day July 8, 2012

Who knows what went on?


Posts: 61 | Registered: Dec 2013
beautytoashes5
Member
Member # 41900
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

My engagement ring was stolen many years ago. It was never replaced. My 1st wedding band I lost during our honeymoon. My 2nd wedding band was stolen from our home. I'm thinking the OW stole it. My husband wore his band for maybe a year. He never wore it again. Now it makes sense that my husband never cared that I didn't have wedding rings. He was involved in his affair for more than half of our 12 year marriage. So many things make sense now. Sigh.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Simple
Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

He had a job when we were first married that didn't allow any jewelry while at work because it was dangerous, so he just never wore one.

I know a man who has a similar job and I know I've been in those jobs before where rings can be dangerous, any jewelry actually. You know what this man did? He went to the tattoo parlor and had a wedding ring tattooed where it was supposed to go. That's one dedicated guy as far as I'm concerned.


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
AndreaL
Member
Member # 41522
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Took it off and gave it to my husband. I will never wear that ring again. I demanded he remove his as well. He touched her with it. It's tainted forever.


Me:35
Hubby:38
Kids ages: 2 and 5
Married: 8 years
DDAY: Dec 1 2013
Affair: 2 months EA and PA
Status: Separted. Sigh...I wish I could forgive 😞

Update: attempting to reconcile


Posts: 189 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Canada
beautytoashes5
Member
Member # 41900
Content  Posted: 5:46 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Simple--- wow! That's amazing... There is love out there. Thanks for sharing

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Simple that is a great idea wish I would have thought of it, of course it would be hard to rip off his finger now.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
FaceFacts
New Member
Member # 42464
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, February 21st (Friday)

I removed the ring on D-Day and threw it across the house. I later collected it and put it in a draw. I haven't worn it since. I will never wear it again.
She lost her ring years ago at the beach when a strong wave lifted it from her finger.
I used to spin the ring as a habit and I still find that I try to do that then realize the feeling of the ring on my finger is a ghost.

[This message edited by FaceFacts at 8:54 AM, February 21st (Friday)]


D-day 1/25/14
BH = Me
WW = Her
2 children
Married 20years
Face Facts

Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2014
FaceFacts
New Member
Member # 42464
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, February 21st (Friday)

[This message edited by FaceFacts at 8:55 AM, February 21st (Friday)]


D-day 1/25/14
BH = Me
WW = Her
2 children
Married 20years
Face Facts

Posts: 3 | Registered: Feb 2014
mandala
Member
Member # 41724
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, February 21st (Friday)

I guess I'm the odd one out here. I still wear mine.
I see it as a symbol of MY fidelity, not his.

My ring shows the world that I'm a faithful married woman. I did not lose the right to wear it. I did nothing wrong. I did not violate the vow I made when I accepted it- to be faithful to him.

My vows still mean something to me, so I still wear it.

If our circumstances were different, I might not feel this way. And I'm sure if my story were the same as some here, I would be tossing him out the door and selling these suckers on ebay.


Me: BW 50
Him: WH 50
Married 21 years
Four awesome kids
EA Began 6/2013 PA 8-9/2013 (4 meetings) DDay 9/10/2013
OW : "friend" - older, fatter and uglier than me.
Working on R

Posts: 52 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: usa
sparkle09
Member
Member # 41901
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

Mine is off and I threw his in the trash, he never took it off and I couldn't stand to look at it. I also made him stop wearing a very expensive watch I gave him he never took off.


Me-33 WS-34
Pregnant & 2 year old sweet baby girl
Together 15 years Married 5 years
D-day #1 - 12/25/13 TT D-day #2 - 1/3/13 admitted to 3 year affair with co worker

Posts: 112 | Registered: Jan 2014
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

That is great mandala a whole new way to look at things, I think that is fantastic.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 51