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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I'm either nuts, or the nicest XW in the world
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
DOH!  Posted: 9:10 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I don't know what the heck is going on right now. XWH and DS have been playing hockey together on Tuesday nights the last few weeks. Off they go tonight...

XWH calls me. Says son is still on ice. I say, yeah, and you aren't, because?? Well, he blew out his knee and needs to go to the hospital. They are playing in my town, hospital is in my town, sounds simple, right? Ummm, nope.

XWH in all his wisdom bought a standard car, not automatic. Saved him from insuring DS on his car, and he doesn't help me pay for the insurance on mine for DS. Problem is, DS can't drive standard. I can't drive standard. So now, he's at the rink, he can't drive, DS can't drive. So, someone dropped XWH off at the hospital, then they brought DS home in XWH's car. They leave XWH's car in my driveway, and DS drives the guy back to the rink in my car so the guy can get his own car. Now DS is going to come home and wait for his dad to call to say he's done, then DS is going to take my car over to the hospital, get XWH, and drive him to his home in another town about 25 min away. So, I guess I'm stuck with his car in my driveway for a few days.

Did you follow that? I'm glad if you did...because I'm still not sure what the heck just happened/is happening.


**edited to try and clarify **

[This message edited by devistatedmom at 9:12 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

I followed it. I may vote for C - a little nuts AND the nicest XW ever.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25696 | Registered: Aug 2011
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Do you have AAA? Call them and have them tow XWH's car to his house. AAA responds to its members whether the vehicle owner is a AAA member or not. When XWH's car died years ago (back when we were engaged, so he couldn't be on my membership), I called them and showed them my card, and they jumped his car, no questions asked, even though he was not a member. If you're paying for a membership, and the number of miles you have are within the towable limits, then I'd have that sucker towed away only so I wouldn't have to deal with XWH any more than I had to. Just a thought.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Hmmm, food for thought tryingagain. I do have CAA (I'm in Canada). I'm not sure what my towing area is though. I think I'll wait to see exactly how badly he hurt himself ( ) (Ooops, that was bad form... ) what his plan is, and go from there. It isn't going to bug me while I'm sleeping tonight, and I'm at work all day tomorrow. We shall see.

NIK, I'll take C too.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Forgot to mention...I'm more worried about DS driving up there and back tonight, in the dark, in what might be a very late night. I'm betting I'm going to have to deal with a kid that wants to take the day off school tomorrow. As long as he gets home safe, and my car is safe (I'm screwed without my car), I'll deal with the rest. Did I mention we had a snow storm today, and I never put snow tires on the car? (Bad DM)


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
littlefoggy
Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

That is quite nice. And a little nuts.

But you don't need to know how to drive stick to pop it in neutral and let it roll into the street if he leaves it there too long.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

Funny aside: So, DD comes upstairs and I tell her her dad hurt himself, he's going to the hospital, yada yada. After the proper, oh, poor dad comments, know what her first thought is?

"Hey mom?" (with a big smile on her face) "If dad is hurt and can't drive, does that mean I don't have to go to for dinner with him tomorrow?"


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

you can be nuts and nice at the same time, ya know.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)

You should go with DS to pick XWH up from the hospital.
First stop afterwards is an ATM machine for $XX in gas money to reimburse you!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6520 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Tow it and send him the bill.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13791 | Registered: Jul 2011
imwideawake
Member
Member # 23386
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

How bad am I that I lol'ed at what your DD said?


Together 17 years.
Married 15
Me: BW, now 44
Him WH
dday 9/08
3 daughters, now 19, 17, & 15
Divorced 12/04/12

Posts: 893 | Registered: Mar 2009
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Well, yes it was nice. But your only other option was to be petty during a health emergency, so you made a great choice!

It's crazy that he didn't call someone besides YOU to help him deal! Not sure why he didn't have you pick your son up and handle the rest himself. You get bonus points for not telling him that.

Let's see if your WH reciprocates appropriately and somehow compensates you for your trouble.

I like the way your DD thinks!

[This message edited by nekorb at 7:31 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)]


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Did DS make it back ok? That would be my major concern as well. I''m always too nice I guess, I would have helped out as well


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

I'm wide awake, I lol'd too.

Yes, DS got home at about 1am. We are dragging our butts a bit today. Can't imagine why.

XWH called this morning to say thank you, and that he may need my son to run around picking up prescriptions for him, groceries, etc. Ummm...yeah. In my car, in a town 25 min away....I didn't comment.

He's on crutches, needs to see another doctor to get an MRI. He's torn something. Poor baby.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

He needs your SON to do this?

Give me a break.

At least he called to say thank you.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

he may need my son to run around picking up prescriptions for him, groceries, etc.

You mean his one true luuuurrrve isn't around to wait on him hand and foot?! Color me surprised.

I know your son is going to want to help his father, but there should be a discussion about reimbursing your gas expense (let alone the wear and tear on your car). The one time drop off/pick up/car switcheroo is one thing, but this ongoing "help" out of your pocket? Uhhhh no.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6520 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Oh, he said something about topping up my gas tank. Whoopie.

Gaby, he broke up with OW long ago. He had a new GF within 2 weeks, and he has been with her for a few years now. She doesn't live around here, she lives an hour away in another town. So, we are the closest "family/friends" he has to where he lives.

We will see. If I need my car when he wants stuff done, it won't be happening. One step at a time.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Mousse242
Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

EXH can take a cab to your place to get his car. Also, good luck with him driving it with a jacked knee unless it's right leg that got jacked. Either way it won't be easy to work a clutch, brake and gas.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Whalers11
Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)

You are too nice.

I would have told that guy to leave XH's car at the rink and just drop DS off at your house.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2252 | Registered: Feb 2010
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Update:

DD came upstairs:

"Dad phoned. He wanted to say hi because it was weird not seeing me on a Thursday. He saw (family doctor) today, and his ripped some important part of his knee. He told me what it was called, but I didn't care, so I don't remember. He said if the car is bugging you, then ask one of the neighbours to move it."

I just looked at her. I said, DD! That's not nice! He's your dad! She said, but moooommmm, I really don't care what part of his knee he hurt. It's his own fault for pretending he could play hockey!

She did say his brother is there helping him. I said, did he not say anything about getting the car? She said he might. I said, oh...that means XBIL will be coming here. <pause> Would it be ok with you if I go out when they are coming? DD laughed. No mom. I don't blame you for not wanting to see him either.

The funniest part of all this is she is REALLY daddy's little girl, to this day. It shocked me to hear her talking like that about his injury.

I will wait and see if he texts me tomorrow about the car. If I don't hear from him, I will text and ask what the plan is.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

You can drive it, may wear out the clutch .. but hey .. you got it to his house!!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
k8la
Member
Member # 38408
Default  Posted: 4:53 AM, February 21st (Friday)

I think it would be fun to have DS learn how to drive a stick, while it's in your driveway, after-all!

Then he'd have no excuse to not insure son, and miles would be on his car for the running around. Have a neighbor friend take DS out for some driving lessons in a parking lot.


Posts: 161 | Registered: Feb 2013
Lola2kids
Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, February 21st (Friday)

Aww. Poor little muffin blew out his knee trying to be like a teenager again.
Your DD is funny. I can see she has his number.
Here's hoping the car is gone but with this nasty weather it might take a while.
I hope your son won't have to be nurse maid to his dad too long.
What a douche.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 8:45 AM, February 21st (Friday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 23