User Topic: One random positive thing about going through infidelity
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

We're in the process of building a house right now. DH is contracting it himself, which as you can imagine, is really fun as this is his busiest time of year and also the time with the least income (I know that makes no sense but if I explained what he does, it would).

So I've had several people tell me, "Oh man! If your marriage can survive building a house, it can survive anything!" I'm all like this? This is cake. CAKE. Sure, it's stressful, but I am able to eat, I'm not having panic attacks, and no lawyers are involved!

And I bet the people telling me that had a builder doing shit for them, and weren't contracting everything themselves too.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
New Member
Member # 32402
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

I can see how building a house would pale in comparison! Nice that there are positives to be had with all this.

D-Day - 4/2011
Married 20 years
DD18, DD15,DS13
Been trying to R - growing weary
In limbo, thinking about LS or D

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jun 2011
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

I was sweeping the floor in the master bedroom last night because they're putting carpet in on Friday, and laughing to myself, all alone in the room. DH heard me and came in, I bet he thought I was nuts. I told him what I was thinking about and we laughed about it.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 42356
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

I know exactly what youre saying JanaGreen.

When you go through something as terrible as we all have, the things that others consider "difficult" truly pale in comparison... and as you said are in fact "cake".

Thank you for this, it is always good to see some of the positive things, if any, that can come out of something like this.

"A tree falls the way it careful which way you lean"

Posts: 172 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Lol Jana! I just pictured "you" sweeping your room laughing maniacally!

I hope I get to that point! Everything seems to overwhelm me now. Maybe once we get through it I'll have a different view

Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

Everything seems to overwhelm me now.

((HUGS!!!)) It's so hard, it's really hard. It just takes time and consistent behavior, remorse, apologies, truth. I still have triggers but they aren't day-ruining. I hope you get past the overwhelming stage soon.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 24786
Content  Posted: 11:30 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

I learned how to cook a mean roast dinner!

I realised I can live alone if the need ever arises!

I went from being someone who asked direction to the local mall to someone who thinks nothing of driving or catching a train to go hundreds of miles from home!

I can sleep alone if I have to!

I know what you mean about not sweating the small stuff! A lady where I used to work had a FIT when she couldn't find her stapler and I burst out laughing and said to my boss (who knew what I was going through) that if THAT was how she reacted when she mislaid her stapler then she would be seriously f***ed if she mislaid anything higher than that on the hierarchy of needs scale... like toilet paper

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 11:31 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)]

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)

LOL...RIGHT! My WS is a contractor and Ive had to jump in on projects all the time. Both for others and our own place.

It most certainly is cake compared to infidelity.

"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 8