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Reconciliation
User Topic: confused on hysterical bonding and personal boundaries for you
ionlytalkedtoher
Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, February 20th (Thursday)


[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:03 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
veronique12
Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

Hi, I'm confused about your situation. You don't want a D, but it sounds like you don't want R either if you're making an effort not to talk or trying to only talk about the kids.

To me, sounds like you want to be close with him if you're feeling the urge to HB. You want the reassurance. Why are you not trying to communicate your feelings to him? Is he interested in pursuing R?


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 460 | Registered: Jan 2014
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

What is your goal? What is your spouse's goal? If R is not a possibility then I would meet with a mediator to help set up some house rules as well as personal rules. That would include putting the brakes on HB. Being intimate or just flat out having sex is confusing for you and is sending the wrong message to your SO. Are you working on a plan or have you given up on R?


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1454 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
ionlytalkedtoher
Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:04 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
ionlytalkedtoher
Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:05 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 5