User Topic: Today may be the day-mixed emotions
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

Today is supposed to be the day I am supposed to sign all the final paperwork...then we just have to wait 8 weeks for a divorce certificate. I may have just jinxed the delivery by writing this.

I've had to cancel signing a few times due to delays from his lawyer, but I think today is it. I have mixed emotions. There will be relief, I feel like I can finally tell people. But I am so sad and mad too. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I know there's no point.

He's spent the last few weeks trying to "woo" me, but doesn't seem to understand, or be capable of giving me, the one thing that may make me pause and reconsider: proof he's actually capable of being/doing different. Real remorse, real no-holding-back truth about everything.

I have to make arrangements with him once the documents arrive to get a few things from the house. I so badly want to tell him how I feel, but I know there's no point. All I will get is "then come home, we'll be happy". His perception of a healthy relationship is so skewed...

My heart is broken...but I am determined to be strong. This is what I need to do, he's given me no choice. He's cheated our entire relationship, carried on a LTA whine we dated, right through our wedding and continued to once I gave him a second chance....

DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

He's a cake-eater! Don't let him undermine you! Keep your eyes on the goal, freedom from the pain of his betrayals.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, February 20th (Thursday)

I will be thinking of you today. It's so hard. But this is a step to freedom. You can mourn the relationship still while knowing he can't offer what you need.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

You're going to be able to walk through the gate into a new life. ((((HUGS))))

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9817 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Lawyer just confirmed. Leaving for his office in 15 minutes.

I have never felt anything comparable to this. It's a death, mixed with deceit and betrayal...tempered with something still resembling love and disbelief...

DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Strength roarlouder. You can do this.

He has shown you who he really is, believe him. You deserve better.

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

Posts: 748 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

((((roar)))) Sending you strength, honey.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25699 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 41340
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

(((Roar louder))) hope it has all gone ok. Sending you strength.

Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain

Posts: 408 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Thank you for your support. Signed everything. Just have to wait about 8 weeks for it to be official. No surprises from his or his lawyer, which I thought there might be.

DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 9