User Topic: What is connection?
New Member
Member # 42355
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

What does this word mean to you? I have spent the last year trying to explain to my fWH that we lack a strong connection in our marriage and we need to work toward this. He just looks at me blankly and says he doesn't know what I mean by 'connection.' I have tried to explain what it means to me, but he just doesn't see what it is I'm striving for.

Maybe you all have a different way I can explain it.

Me BS 51
Him fWH 50
Dday 2-12-13
Married 21 years

Me: BW 51
Him: WH 51
DDay: 2/12/13
Married 21 years
DD 15

Posts: 17 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Have you both read "the five languages of love"? I think that maybe a step to establish some "connection". It's a type of word that is better explained through experience rather than through words.

Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.

Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

Connection for me is wanting to be with that person, have deep conversations, want to tell them important things going on, being able to discuss feelings with them, feel close to them, think about them, attracted to them and to feel it back

Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated, divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 453 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, February 20th (Thursday)

My fWH and I have a strong bond which is what held us together during the worst of this. Even though he cheated he wanted to stop right away and his greatest fear was losing me when I found out.

I guess this is a sort of connection but I don't use that word.

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 565 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Member # 40779
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, February 21st (Friday)

To me it is wanting to spend the rest of your life sharing with that person. Sharing new places, ideas, thoughts, and old. It is knowing that they are there for you no matter what. It is looking into their eyes and knowing that you are special to them. It is growing old together and still having fun after the kids are grown. Its about sharing dreams.

BW 40 (me)
WH 40
DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with horseface
DDay 2 05/09/14 inappropriate texts to another woman (not returned)
I live a real life fairy tale. I married prince charming. He kissed a troll. He turned into a frog.

Posts: 207 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 5