SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: One reason to be the *first to file*.....
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

You are assured that the D will happen in the jurisdiction of your choosing.

This will not make a whit of difference in most cases, but for those who have devious stbx's...it may. A devious stbx can figure out *where* the most favorable place for a D is in his/her circumstance, establish residency there, and then file there. And then YOU are (potentially) screwed.

People who might need to be wary of this are those whose stbx travels a lot and those who live near state lines.

Just be wary and keep your guards up.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7879 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

This was actually a potential concern for me before we filed. XPOS moved out of state, and I found out he was asking around about the residency requirements to file there, which was six months. I knew I had six months to get everything filed in my state and the clock was ticking. He was dragging his feet with paperwork I sent him, but Providence shown on me and I found out about latest OC. That gave me the leverage I needed to push it thru. (We did a dissolution so it required input/signatures from both parties before it could be filed, thus the reason he could drag it out.)


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
RealityStinks
Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

This weighed on my decision to file. WW moved to a neighboring county where she is VERY well connected. I would have been royally screwed if she filed in the county she is currently living in as opposed to the one we have lived in for the past several years. She may very well have been waiting until she had her PO box long enough to establish residency before she filed. I don't know, and don't care at this point because I beat her to it.

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
Darcy3
New Member
Member # 39696
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

This was a concern for me as well. My ex had moved to another county and even though I didn't think he would file...that would require effort on his part...I needed to make sure it was done in my county as my lawyer would not go out of this county, and she is one of the best around.


Me = BS
Him = WS
3 teenagers
Married 24 years
D-Day: Nov. 10, 2012
Divorced

Posts: 45 | Registered: Jun 2013
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

Absolutely. ex-asshat filed first in a county that is 3.5 hours from where I was (we both left the marital home and moved to different areas).

The trips back and forth sucked.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15382 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

This played a part in my D too.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2582 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Leia
Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, February 22nd (Saturday)

That and my STBX didn't file temporary orders and throw me out of the house. Now we're roommates. My lawyer told me not to leave. I was just hours behind him, and I have no clue how he got a lawyer to meet with him on a Sunday. I was going to throw him out. So now, we're in legal limbo. It royally sucks.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Topic Posts: 7