I feel your pain, it's tough so sending strength (((hugs)))
We are eight weeks out and things are still the same. He doesn't want to talk about it, is pushing me away one minute, pulling me back the next. He hates me but he loves me, he hates himself for loving me because of what I've done. It's messy and confusing.
I hurt when he hurts and knowing I'm the cause of his pain is heartbreaking. It's hard to overcome the feelings of self loathing and disgust.
The only thing you can do is stay strong. Be patient, ride the roller coaster with him. Don't rush him through this process (I've made that mistake a few times!) Don't try to force him down a healing path, he needs to do whatever he feels is best in order to get through it. You just need to support him as much as he'll allow you to.
Listen when he needs to talk, back off when he wants space. Keep going with being open and transparent, continue with your IC, try to book another appointment as soon as you can. The only thing that will make this any better is time.
Hang in there.Me - 27
Him - 27
My Ddays - 01/2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.