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luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Flame  Posted: 7:57 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

I had to cut my vacation short because my daughter needs me, see other thread...http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=523737
I spent the evening helping my daughter piece together the last several years of memories and arrived home at around 10pm last night to find my apartment broken into. They trashed the place looking for anything of value. Police report was done and maintenance boarded up the window but I couldn't stay there alone so I spent the night on an air mattress at my moms.
I'm about at the limit of what I can handle emotionally. I want to crawl in a hole but I have to be strong for my daughter.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

OMGosh Luvbug...

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Praying for strength for you.

(((Luvbug)))


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24348 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live where I don't feel safe and I can't afford to move.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

Is there somewhere you can stay short term?

Do you have a counselor you can speak to? Maybe the police can recommend a victims advocacy group?


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24348 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

I think I'm going to stay with my daughter, her husband said I can stay as long as I need to. I'm going to see if my complex will let me move to a second or third floor unit.
I have IC tomorrow, just trying to hold it together until then.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry, honey. Sending you strength.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

(((luvbug)))

I'm glad you can stay with your daughter. Sending hugs and strength.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16420 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
stronggirl72
Member
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

(((luvbug)))

I am so, so sorry that this happened. Please know that I'm sending many prayers of strength.

I'm so glad you're seeing your IC tomorrow. Although it won't physically help, it is so tremendously cathartic to talk with someone about all you are dealing with -- even just one visit. Deep breath.


[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 11:07 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 154 | Registered: Oct 2012
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)

(((Luv)))

Continued prayers to you


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51511 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry to hear about this!
I'm glad you can stay with your daughter & her husband.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15106 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

I am so sorry that happened! ((Hugs))


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4375 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

Having your home invaded is so distressing. Have BTDT a couple times. Both times I moved. Just couldn't stay. If your complex doesn't have upper level units available stay with DD until you have saved up enough for a new place. Just mho. ((((luvbug0915))))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

How awful. I am so sorry.
Stay with your daughter until you can deal with going back. I'm glad you have a family support group!
(((luvbug)))


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
weeping willow
Member
Member # 22800
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

That is just awful! (((luvbug)))

Before Mr. willow retired, through most of our marriage, he traveled for work. I always kept a can of 20 foot jet spray wasp and hornet killer in every room of the house, and I always had a can of it on my night stand next to my bed.


BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 36 years


Posts: 1792 | Registered: Feb 2009
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

I went back today with my girlfriend and made a list of missing items for the insurance adjuster. We took a break and went to lunch and when we got back the place was swarming with police. The fuckers tried to get into my upstairs neighbors, they climbed up to her balcony and she walked in before they got in. She fired two shots at them but missed. When I left 2 hrs later the CSI team was there.
I'm at my daughters now, I won't be going back to my apartment until I'm ready to pack and move. This will be the 7th time in less than 5 yrs.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

Sister you need to take control of this situation It is very distressing to have your home invaded. Btdt. Got my first shotgun after. Got my first great Dane after too.

My point being we can't control what other people do but we can certainly make them not want to target you again. Please consider taking you concealed carry class ad start carrying. It will be a while before you will feel safe walking into an empty apartment/ home etc. also consider getting a shelter dog who is an adult an trained but Has a loud enough and deep enough bark to make an intruder stop and rethink making your home the choice.

I'm sorry you have been out through so much recently hang in there.

((( an strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7799 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
sad12008
Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

(((luvbug0915)))

I'm so very sorry you're getting hit on all sides by all this badness. Sending you strength, though I know you are a strong (& brave!!) person. I'm thankful you weren't home when the break-in occurred, but I know it's an extraordinary violation. F*ckers.

Sending positive energy your way, and mojo for your DD.


"Everybody's life is hard. You look at life, and it's not a cakewalk. You've got to be able to bounce back." --Neil Young, father to two children with CP, another with epilepsy, and otherwise experientially qualified to comment

Posts: 3857 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

Thanks to all for your positive energy and good thoughts.

tushnurse, I do have 2 dogs, in fact I am heavily involved in miniature schnuazer rescue. However, since I was out of town they weren't there (my ex kept them for me).
They aren't big dogs but they are both obnoxious and they will both bite to protect me and their barks are bigger than their bodies. I'm limited on other breeds because of allergies.

It is thought that the perps are teenage punks just looking to take what they can sell to their friends or pawn. I have 2 original, signed and numbered watercolors prints above my fireplace, probably the most expensive things I own besides my Macbook Air (which was with me) and they left those alone. No matter though, I won't be spending another night in that apartment, I have already promised my children and my bff.

My DD and SIL said I can stay as long as I need to but I'd prefer my own space sooner rather than later because I can't have my dogs here (they don't do kids and my grandson is just 2). XSO will keep them as long as he needs to, he has a large home with fenced yard and doggy doors and he loves them as much as I do so they are in good hands.

My boss has contacted the CFO and asked him to go to bat for me with the CEO/Owner to see if they will pay out some vacation in lieu of time off so I can have some money to pay for a move. I am hoping for a positive outcome of that. I had over 150 available before I took the 32 last week. I'll need a couple days this week to deal with apartment hunting, my daughter and a couple dr appts but I should still have at least 110 or more. Keep mojo coming for that, it could be what gets me in a much safer complex.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)

More mojo on its way.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Iwould be sure to let your current complex know that you fully expect to be reimbursed for all your time and trouble. If not then you will be contacting the BBB, and other outlets to get the word out that they don't keep their residents safe. Seriously.

Do you have Renters insurance too? They should help cover some of the costs to move due to being in a nonresidable apartment, because it is clearly not safe.

Mojo headed your way.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7799 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

I had a meeting with the property manager yesterday and she consulted with her regional manager. They are letting me out of my lease with no penalties and reimbursing my security deposit and part of my pet fee, I'm satisfied in that aspect.
I had kept in contact with my boss all weekend due to the events with my daughter because she will be the one doing my job when I can't be there. I ended up going to work around lunch time yesterday and when I got there my boss gave me a nice chunk of money, most of it from the company and a separate personal check from her. This will help me get into a more desirable location. Our company policy does not allow employees to sell their vacation time in lieu of taking the time off but I had asked for an exception. They decided I needed to save my vacation so I can use it to deal with my daughter and moving, etc...
My XSO is going to store my stuff in his 16ft box trailer until I find a place to live. We know it will all fit because that's where most of it lived during the 6 weeks after we broke up in Nov until I was finally able to move out in Dec. This will make the 7th move in less than 5 yrs. He is also keeping my dogs until I find a place because I'm staying with my DD and my dogs do not do children (2 y/o grandson). I miss them horribly and would love to have my puppy cuddles, I just know they would make me feel so much better.
I am staying strong, as hard as it is, because I have no other options.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, positive energy, mojo, whatever you've been sending...it working to help keep me upright.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
sadcat
Member
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

(((luvbug))))

So sorry to hear this. Keep your head up!


I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.


Posts: 13217 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Wow what a great boss.
Glad the property managers were willing to do the right thing too.

Now to find a place....Good luck.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7799 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, March 14th (Friday)

I think it's time for a positive update.
I've been staying with my daughter for the past 3 weeks and tomorrow I finally move into my own space again. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed, I haven't slept in it since Feb 14th because I was on vacation prior to the robbery.
I looked at several complexes and had police records sent for all of them. I also checked out apartment ratings and only looked at the ones that had a high recommendation rate from either prior or current tenants.
The location is great, further from work but closer to my daughter. I was able to get a first floor unit but my windows are all second floor because there is a terrace level apartment below me. This is great for me because with my RA my poor ankles and knees don't like the steps, especially first thing in the morning not to mention walking 2 dogs several times a day.
My building overlooks the fitness center, pool and leasing office so not much opportunity or privacy for potential burglars. The rent is a good deal more than my prior apartment but it's hard to put a price on peace of mind.
I'll be living without cable to save some money but I'll have internet. My insurance company had a replacement TV delivered today. I was able to combine the value of my old 32" flat screen and my point and shoot camera to upgrade to a 42" smart TV which will make it so simple to use Hulu, Netflix, YouTube, etc... I probably won't even miss cable.

I had a moment of panic this evening when I took some things over to the apartment but I know all will be well. My dogs will be back with me tomorrow night in my new place and I will be soaking in the solitude even with the new moving mess around me.
I don't have to worry about DD for a few days because her husband will be home with her. I'll post an update about DD on my other thread.

Thanks for all your support, encouragement and MOJO, people of SI.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
sadcat
Member
Member # 8637
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, March 16th (Sunday)

Oh yay! So glad to hear this! I know it will be a bit anxiety producing at first- but you will settle in and be back to your old self soon. The doggies will love being back with you too!


I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.


Posts: 13217 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: GA
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

Glad to hear things are going well for you, luvbug! Enjoy your new home!!!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

Luvbug... I'm happy to hear the positive update.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24348 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, March 17th (Monday)

Enjoy your new space.

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4851 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Finally have internet! Woohoo!
I have enjoyed the first 2 nights in my new place without any anxiety. It's so nice to have my dogs back and they are adjusting perfectly after a month away from me.
There's a dog in the apartment next to mine that barks constantly all day long, it's making my 2 look like angles. I would hate to think my dogs were causing such a nuisance all day when I wasn't home. Mine only bark when someone knocks on the door and when they hear me set my car alarm. The neighbors dog doesn't bother me though, as long as it doesn't set my 2 off we'll be fine.
I'm almost fully unpacked but it will take a while to get my pictures and artwork hung because I like to take my time deciding where everything will look best.
Today I get a $300 Amex gift card from the complex, a promo they are running this month for new move ins. I think I'll go shopping!


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
Topic Posts: 29