SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Social media- removing and blocking
roarlouder
Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Papers signed. Settlement done. Am telling friends. I need to delete/block him online right? Was thinking about just putting him on limited profile so he can't see anything but is t deleted. I don't know why.

What about all of his friends? And mutual friends? I don't post much online but really don't need him seeing what I am up to. Don't know why but this seems harder than leaving or signing.


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Delete/block him.
Delete/block his friends.
Limit mutual friends, although I have to tell you - I don't have any mutual friends with wasband. No body stayed in contact with him, but if they had, I would have blocked them for my own protection.

Congrats on getting the papers signed and settlement done.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25073 | Registered: Aug 2011
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Yep, blocking is the way to go. If you block someone it's like they don't exist online any more. It's very freeing to block them.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
GreatRoleModel
Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Yes block... I will say that I deactivated all my social media accounts and I love it! It also takes away the temptation to check. My kids have gone off FB too as he posts pictures of him and OW and their travels. I email, text, and talk with who I need to so I don't feel I am missing anything. Congrats!


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 315 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Anyone who remained a friend of OW and XWH became dead to me.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3317 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Congrats!!!!!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, February 24th (Monday)

First, congrats!

Second, yes, delete/block him.
Onward and upward to bigger and better things.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6380 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, February 24th (Monday)

I agree, block him and block anyone that is still friends with him. That is what I did.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 879 | Registered: Mar 2013
roarlouder
Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, February 24th (Monday)

It feels so final. Part of me wants him to see me living a happy life...but I imagine more crap will just come with that.


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, February 24th (Monday)

Congrats on everything moving forward! I know it is bittersweet... but it's necessary and you really can't start healing until the legal crap is behind you.

I blocked XWH, OW, and OW's family. Partly because I didn't want them looking at my stuff, but mostly to keep myself from looking at theirs. Right after the divorce, XWH had his page totally public, and was posting all sorts of sappy shit about his new life and OW. Every once in awhile I'd get an urge to look, and always ended up hurting myself. I blocked not only for privacy but to protect myself, from myself.

I know what you mean about wanting him to see you getting on with your life and doing okay. It's a painful realization to come to, but the bottom line is they just don't care. He didn't care whether you were happy or miserable while you were his wife; he's going to care even less now. Painful... I know. Believe me, I know. It was hard for me to come to terms with that. He was still the center of my life, but I hadn't been the center of his for a long time, even before the D. It's a painful break but once you let go of it, I hope you will feel some relief, like I did.

We had no mutual friends on social media, and XWH is friendless in general anyway. He deleted immediately everyone he knew would be on "my" side and who knew what an utter POS he is. The only thing left we have mutual on fb etc are some of his family members. But because I've blocked him we can't see each other's posts etc. I might see "5 likes" on a new photo his daughter has put up. If I click the "5 likes", and it shows me only 4 names, then I know XWH was the other "like".

Spring is almost here, roar. Think FRESH, think CLEAN, think RENEWAL. This is the time to purge XWH and all that toxic misery from your life, and that includes online connections. NC = no new hurts. And viewing on social media = C.

You can do this.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling


Posts: 750 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
roarlouder
Member
Member # 40921
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, February 24th (Monday)

It's so stupid. I am worried about hurting his feelings. How warped?

I am going to take a social media break on my mini vacation this week and will bite the last few bullets when I get home.


DDay-sept 2013
1LTA(5yrs) plus many ONS
Divorcing.
No kids

Posts: 356 | Registered: Oct 2013
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, February 24th (Monday)

I've blocked XH and nw/ow. We have 4 kids together and are both friends with them. The only way I know he's commented to my kids status is if I count the posts!

I really like the blocking feature.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, February 24th (Monday)

(((roar))) You're not stupid honey. You can save yourself a lot of pain if you block. If he is hurt by that, so be it. There's plenty of hurt to go around in the situation. Just don't sign yourself up to take on even more than you've already got. Ok?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25073 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 13