SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Well, I have my answer - 89 Days!
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Funny  Posted: 7:39 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Yes, it took exactly 89 days from the date our divorce was finalized for my ex to ask me for a loan.

He asked me yesterday for a loan of $25k for a business venture.

I don't have $25k and if I did I wouldn't loan it to him because he interprets a "loan" as a "gift".

He also told me, for the umpteenth time, that he is broke and probably won't be able to afford the cataract surgery he needs.

And it's not my problem!!!!!!!!!

In the past, I woud have paid for it, nursed him, made him follow the correct post-surgery procedures and put up with the eye-rolling and sarcastic comments about fussing over hygeine and making a big deal out of nothing.

Now, he can pay for his surgery, not take the antibiotics, not wear the eye-protection, get the infection, pay for the extra medication and generally suffer in the pit of miserable mold he has created for himself.

But it is all my fault because, as he announced yesterday, he "got the short end of the stick in the divorce."


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - my friend 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'


Posts: 719 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Good for you JPD, for saying no to both and staying strong.


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1672 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

You should have told him that short end must be pretty long because it's definitely touching his brain from where it's lodged. That's the only explanation I can think of for him actually asking you for a loan.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1803 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Now why didn't I think of that.....

I have learned from SI to expect in the divorce what I got in the marriage: a huge sense of entitlement, delusion and selfishness from my ex husband.

On one level it makes me sad: I realize how much I allowed him to use me in the marriage. I constantly rescued him, financially and practically. I dealt with just about everything. I made decisions I would NEVER have made if I had known he was unfaithful. Basically, he conned me for a long time.

But at least now I know the truth and I can say no or ignore him without worrying that his bad decisions would come back to bite me.

If he doesn't pay his income taxes...
If he doesn't renew his tags...
If he gets a speeding ticket...
If he doesn't pay his property taxes...
If he lets down a client...
If he gives money to one of his sluts...
If his truck breaks down...
If he doesn't pay his business insurance...
If he gets an STD...
If he's too lazy to make enough $ to live on...

It's not my problem any more.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

SIers are SOOOOO funny, I swear!!!

I realize how much I allowed him to use me in the marriage.

Sigh, me too.
I made decisions I would NEVER have made if I had known he was unfaithful. Basically, he conned me for a long time.

And this too, times 10.
But mostly, this...
It's not my problem any more.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 2127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Someone get this woman in the quote thread!!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 6

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

It's not my problem any more.
You should be so damn proud of yourself!! I am!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Mediation date: 7/10/14 and 7/22/14
Final final court date: Oct 2014

Posts: 2107 | Registered: Oct 2012
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Wow! The nerve! But I guess he thought he could get in his divorce what he got in his marriage! I''m so proud of you! I think I would say no but might feel guilty afterwards, still some work to do!

He should ask one of his whores for a loan. Or get it off the equity in his mold infested home- oh wait there is none!


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
Hasn't moved out yet
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 930 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Tell him to ask his 3 APs to each loan him 10k....


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1570 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

He should ask one of his whores for a loan. Or get it off the equity in his mold infested home- oh wait there is none!

Oh, let me tell you about his three whores. What a classy, winning collection of ladies they are:

No 1: the long-term, two-year-ish affair that was going to result, she thought, in her moving into my house and living off my money. She works now and then in a spa. She was foreclosed on in 2008, declared bankruptcy in 2012 and in 2013 at the height of their affair she was evicted from her big house owing $7k. But ex insists, "I never gave her a dime."

No. 2: the younger woman. They called each other five times a day, long smoochie chats and in-jokes. She had bought an investment property which turned into a money-pit. My ex was working for her for free. But they were, "just friends".

No 3: the woman who worked in the builder supply store. He gave her $1500, allegedly "a loan for an apartment deposit". No, it was actually for a DUI lawyer.
He had to do this!
He had no choice!
"I had to lend it to her or she would have committed suicide".
She has, you will be surprised to hear, not paid back this loan. And she is alive and well.

As for a loan, his credit improved every year he was married to me. I would love to know what it is today but I am damned sure he can't get a loan.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Another heartwarming tale from a non-remorseful jagoff.

What an idiot.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Oh man, this has just made my day. Cheers to you, Girlfriend!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9233 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
marlie2014
Member
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

You're my inspiration, Jemima. I feel in many ways that I was married to a man like your ex. Ok, I still am, but my legal machinery is in motion. We won't still be married by the time this year is over.

And since splitting up, he's asked me for...oh, waaaay too many loans to count.


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2013
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

NG, you have no idea how much that has cheered me up!

It seems like the karma bus is running over him but all I can hear is the wah, wah, wah. It helps to remember that he is under the wheels.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
jemimapd
Member
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Marlie, hang in there. The relief when I knew I was no longer entangled with him financially was immense. It is one of the good things about divorce, and there are some good things. I have less income but I am waaaay better off. I save money every month that isn't raided by my idiot husband. I have slowly started to get my affairs in order. I feel I am no longer sabotaged by him.

The downside for me right now is dealing with his resentment and anger. I don't respond but it is nasty and upsetting and delusional. He acts as if he is so hard done by. He left this marriage with a lot more than he brought into it. Yes, I wrote my cheating husband a check but apparently it wasn't enough.

As someone said above, he is is not in the least remorseful. And that hurts. He should be apologizing but instead he's angry that he didn't get enough $$$


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

JPD you are living the dream! Getting to see your ex experience real consequences to stupid decisions in only 89 days.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 614 | Registered: May 2013
BAB61
Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Well said Irishlass!! That is exactly what I was thinking!!

lol Jemima!! You ROCK!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 18