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User Topic: My daughter got bit at daycare......while trying to go to sleep!
She11ybeanz
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Member # 27457
Shocked  Posted: 8:58 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

So...I go to pick up my daughter yesterday....and they have me sign a form informing me that while she was laying down trying to take a nap....apparently another child had a diabolical sniper attack plan and got up and ran over and bit her in the middle of her back while she was sleeping!!!! OMG!!!! And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.

I know this is normal...but it concerns me. How are they able to keep these things from happening?? Poor baby....normally she is playful and defiant and runs from me when its time to go....this time when she saw me she screeched and held her arms out and when I picked her up she laid her head on my chest and stayed there.

She has a red mark on her back about an inch long and the biting occurred about 6 hours prior. Poor thing.

Just about broke my heart. I know kids do these things and they are just par for the course when you are around other children....but it still sucks when you are powerless to protect them from it.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:58 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

How are they able to keep these things from happening??

What was their response when you asked them how they plan to keep this from happening again?

I would have asked what/how they will be notifying the offending child's parent/guardian as well.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

They said that they do notify the other parent and I think there is a 3 strike rule on that sort of thing....they say that they talk to the child and explain to them how hurtful what they did was and show them what they did. They have them apologize to the child that was hurt. They then try to monitor that child's interactions with the other children to prevent further incidents.

I guess its hard when you have 5 or 6 little ones running around playing....but this was at naptime for crying out loud! I think one of the children standing up and running full throttle towards another child for the sole purpose of biting her should have stood out a bit....but that's just my take on it.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:55 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Super common.

That age group truly are ankle biters.

The good stuff is coming - wait until she's painted during art class, bopped on the head during story hour and falls off the picnic table while at lunch, cutting her top lip.

Day care. It's not for the squeamish.


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Yeah....I know. Poor thing. She's got her momma's emotional side so when she falls or gets hurt she screams like someone tried to kill her! I know she will be okay. Its all part of growing up I suppose.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
JanaGreen
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Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Don't worry - as she gets older she'll let you know EXACTLY who did what. We have the Airing of Grievances against the other children on a regular basis on the way home from school. I'm sorry she was bitten!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

It sucks, but it happens.
At some point, it is likely that your darling girl will be on the giving end rather than the receiving end of a slap or bite.
It is all part of growing up and learning what's ok and what is not ok.

"Use your words, dear, use your words..."


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.
There are privacy reasons for not identifying the other child. Get used to this, because it's not going to change.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25756 | Registered: Aug 2011
Crescita
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Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Don't worry - as she gets older she'll let you know EXACTLY who did what. We have the Airing of Grievances against the other children on a regular basis on the way home from school. I'm sorry she was bitten!

My three your old niece has singled out another kid in her class to be responsible for everything. EVERYTHING. "Jackson did it!" After she aired 15 or so grievances against Jackson, I asked my sister who this hooligan was, just a kid in her class who is responsible for everything that goes wrong, even when she is at home


“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
musiclovingmom
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Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.
There are privacy reasons for not identifying the other child. Get used to this, because it's not going to change.

^^This. It isn't that they don't tell you, it is that they CAN'T tell you. I am the parent of a biter. He has, for the most part, grown out of it. We tried EVERYTHING. Talking, showing him the other child, time-out, taking away a favorite toy, spankings, hot sauce, I even bit him back once out of sheer desperation to find SOMETHING that would deter his behavior (I do NOT recommend this, it didn't work and I felt awful). I would always try to apologize to the parents of the child he bit. I'm sorry your child was the victim.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jan 2013
She11ybeanz
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Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I don't expect them to tell me who did the biting. I completely understand there are privacy laws in place for this sort of thing. As long as they notify the other parent of what their child did, than I am okay. Its not my responsibility to discipline someone else's child. They need to take care of it. And, the daycare staff needs to pay attention to the interactions of the children as best they can. Things are going to happen regardless. I know this. And, I'm sure I will be on the receiving end of my daughter doing the same thing to another child one day. I don't doubt that one bit....


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
peacelovetea
Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

My favorite notice of this sort was the one in which my child was described as being "hit over the head with a plastic fish" accompanied by all sorts of warnings about head injuries. Those plastic fish are deadly!


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I could totally see Piper conking another child over the head with a plastic fish!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Pentup
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Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

(((Piper and Mommy)))
I know it happens. I know they all do something to another at some time.

But I read this and thought good thing I do not have kids. I would probably bite each of the kids and the workers on the way out the door if my baby was hurt. sort of kidding.

I am crazy about my dogs. Heaven only know how I would be if I had a sweet little girl like yours.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I will admit...I wanted to give the child the "stink eye" at least....but I know that at this age (18 months) that they can't really communicate their feelings very well....my daughter knows a few words...but she mostly babbles... so they express themselves through tantrums....hugs...kisses....physical motions...and I suppose...also....BITING...

I'm not happy about it. Just praying there aren't any repeats.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Just praying there aren't any repeats
well, you can hope, but she is in day care, so chances are, something else is going to happen. It's day care - like ajsmom said, not for the squeamish.


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5978 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I meant more from the same child. I know she will have other incidents at daycare....there are too many variables involved. I just hope this isn't a "singled" out type of thing....which I doubt at this age.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Holly-Isis
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Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Proverbial kids bite when they don't know how to express themselves. Or they hit.

It was nap time, so the teachers need to examine what might have triggered the kid. Did your DD have a toy to sleep with that s/he envied? Does she get a binky but the biter is being weaned? Things like that.

As for where the teachers are, they are often setting up for the next activity. In our case we usually had snack after nap. Or at that age, there was some potty learning going on and we'd be helpig a child use the restroom.

DS has a very slight scar on his lip from just visiting the daycare I used to work at. Even watching him, one of the kids that was about 6mos older grabbed him and shoved him into a chair. Their little brains sometimes make no sense and even vigilance isn't enough.

I'm so sorry for your DD. Such a rude awakening. I think the positives will outweigh the negatives. When I was still on FB one of my friends was a mom from my old daycare. I looked at her DS's friends list...he had kids I remembered being in the same classes as he was when I taught daycare. They're in college now. I can't remember but I'm guessing at one time they had hit or bitten each other.

Your daughter will thrive. IME and IMO she's in a better situation now than when she was with your sister.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 3:55 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)]


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Your daughter will thrive. IME and IMO she's in a better situation now than when she was with your sister.

I agree. Its hard for me to be stern but I have to for my daughter's sake. I hate taking her away from my sister but under the circumstances....I can't allow that blowup to happen again. And, it would. And, it would be worse than before. I just know it. Its better this way and she will learn to accept it over time!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Gotta say this is totally normal.

Both of my kids got bit, and bit others in daycare. When they did the biting I brought down the hammer at home, and we had talks about how it's not ok. IT is totally normal for that age group to bite, they are limited in their verbal ability and compensate their frustrations by biting.

My soon to be 17 yo DS has a scar still on his chest, pretty much right on his sternum where another kiddo attempted to "bite his heart out" when he pissed him off. We laugh about it now. And honestly I wasn't too upset when it happened as the poor little guy had issues, that were obvious even at 2.

She will learn how to protect/defend, and give a don't mess with me vibe and this will be in the past before you know it.

Enjoy the extra cuddles while you get em.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Mama_of_3_Kids
Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Something similar happened to DS10, when he was about her age...only it left a bad mark and eventually scared (I can still see the scar, now). It's hard as a Mama to not want to go thump the other kid upside the gourd I'm sure she will be okay, tomorrow


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11585 | Registered: Dec 2009
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Sometimes these things are hard to prevent. If he got up, ran for her, and bit her all in a matter of seconds before anyone could get to him, I could see where it could happen. When my daughter was at daycare, I believe she was 2 or 3 at the time, there was a boy who was a bigger kid who liked to hug my DD a little too roughly and tightly. She was always telling me "Owen hurt me", and the daycare teachers had already told me that they didn't like how rough he was with her, so the worked hard to keep them separated. I was glad that they at least had the foresight to see that he was a potential problem.

I got to see it for myself when I was picking my DD up, and Owen's mom was picking him up. Owen runs up to my daughter and gives her this big tackle bear hug, his mother was like "Owen, let go". He lets go, and we think everything is fine. Suddenly, Owen lunges for DD, grabs her hair, and rips her down to the floor and jumps on top of her! It was so bizarre, and neither one of us mothers saw it coming it happened so fast!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

OMG.....what did the other mother do??? I would have freaked!!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Awww Owen was in love with your daughter. Poor little guy just couldn't verbalize it.

My son was speech delayed and would get frustrated, he would tend to push or force the other kid to get them to see what he couldn't put in words. We had quite a few write ups over Owen like behavior.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Oh sweetie, I SO can relate!!

My granddaughter (she is a bit older than Piper, born 2/3/12) has been bitten three times in the past six weeks by the same girl...all three times were unprovoked. The daycare also said they could not disclose the name of the child and my DD had to sign incident reports. But Rylan is very verbal, and told my DD who bit her.

Although "normal" - it still sucks...and the daycare deals with it the same way Piper's does. When Rylan told the little girl, "You hurt me, don't bite me..." and the daycare person told the girl to say she was sorry, she said, "NO!"

After my DD signed the third incident report, she asked that they separate the girls as this kid has a penchant for my granddaughter's flesh. Recently, when Rylan was having a typical 2-year-old tantrum and my DD was ignoring it, she bit herself to get attention. UGH!!

I know your frustration and am so sorry Piper was bitten. Normal or not, it sucks.

Hugs!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5079 | Registered: May 2007
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

It does suck...this is the end of her 1st full month of daycare...and the poor thing has had 2 stomach bugs and a bad cold....and a horrible rash most likely caused by yeast. Luckily everything has cleared up....and she isn't throwing up anymore...but now the whole biting thing. I guess this 1st year of daycare is just going to be rough....adjusting to other children....and their germs!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Oh yes, the germs.

Rylan started daycare at 10 months (December 2012)...the first year was rough - colds, strep thorat, ear infections...yeast rashes...roseola...you name it, she got it. She did manage to escape the lice breakout. Her frequency of getting sick has gotten much better; this winter, she has had a couple colds and one stomach flu. Not bad considering that she was at the doctors every other week last winter/spring.

I swear if I were able, I'd quit my job and take care of her myself. But on the flip side, my other DD is a stay-at-home mom to 4 yo GS and 14 mo old GD (and baby on the way in August)...she put GS 4 in preschool this year to help him adjust for Kindergarten and NOW he's getting sick all the time. So either way, it comes down the pike sooner or later.

Let's just invent a bubble for the kids.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5079 | Registered: May 2007
Lucky2HaveMe
Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Germs are actually a good part of day care... otherwise once they start school and are exposed to everything, they miss important school days.

Just sharing a silver lining amongst the muck.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6566 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

My kid was a scratcher when she was in the toddler room. It got pretty bad. She scratched one little boy in the face - I saw him when I walked in to pick her up, and thought, "Please dear God let her NOT be the one who did that." But yeah, she was.

I talked to her teacher about it - she said Baby Green never instigated the fight, she just was the one who ended it. She was very peaceful unless someone messed with her first. That made me feel SLIGHTLY better, but we still had to talk with her daily about using her words instead of scratching friends. Eventually she grew out of it. I was mortified at the time.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

OMG.....what did the other mother do??? I would have freaked!!!!
She was horrified and apologetic after she got her child off of mine. She screamed OWEN STOP and tore him off of her. I picked up DD and consoled her, and I went back into the daycare and told them I now knew what they were talking about with Owen, and to keep Owen away from my DD.

P.S. DD did NOT get invited to Owen's birthday party that summer. I did not mind one bit!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 30