New Beginnings
User Topic: Went to a Meet Up last night
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Last night I went to a Meet Up for writers. ACK! I'm trying to put myself out there, meet people, interact with society, find an outlet for my creativity. Rebuild my life.

I didn't read any of my work, mostly just listened to what others shared. Offered a few thoughts of my own when appropriate.

It felt really weird. Unnatural. So strange to be out in a public venue with people. I still feel very out-of-place when I'm out in certain kinds of public places. I'm trying so hard to break through the remnants of the bondage I was once under. This is yet another attempt!

I'll go back in two weeks. I'm alternating my Tuesday nights. One week I'll go to the support group at my church. The following week this meetup group for writers.

This is how I get my life back, right?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9829 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

NG - how great! It's HUGE that you went! I'm so glad you're going again, even though it felt weird. You're stretching those wings, so a little discomfort is to be expected. But you did it anyway - yay you!

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

That sounds pretty awesome. A writer meet up sounds perfect for you. You are very creative and original.

I always feel super awkward at first, too. Keep going! I bet you are a regular before you know it.

[This message edited by littlefoggy at 10:07 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)]

Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13

Posts: 497 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

NG, yes you do. It feels awkward at first, but once you have made a connection with somebody it will get easier. Keep putting yourself out there, you can only get better with practice. This is not any different than the other things in life you have to practice.

Good luck to you!

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

Yay!!!! Go NG!!

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

It does feel weird in the beginning, then you become one of the "regulars" and you will be helpful to the new members.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Good for you, NG.

Think you'll go back?

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13802 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, February 27th (Thursday)

Yes, this is how you get your life and self-esteem back.

Baby steps right now. Don't rush into anything.

Good job.


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6582 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

Good job NG. That first one is hard. I've done two. The first was to watch a football game at a bar....very strange to just sit down with a bunch of people you don't know and drink and eat together. But they were very friendly. The second was an ultimate frisbee group...a bunch of "kids" in their early 20s and me. Also very strange, but I kept up with them and felt good for it.

Keep going. You'll feel like one of the regulars after a few visits.

Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 725 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

Way to go NG! Yep, we have to make that move to be independent. I am going, by myself, to a Chamber event this Sunday. I've never done "by myself" before. I'll definitely be nervous.

I think this is how we do it! LOL

"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
little turtle
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

Wow. Way to go!!! I've signed up for a few different meetup groups, but I never actually went to a meetup. Good for you! Glad to see that you tried it out.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4209 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

Thanks for the encouragement, you guys!

Yes, I will go back. I am writing a memoir of what I've gone through and really want feedback so I can get it right. I also have many starts to stories I've conceived over the years. I would love to give birth to them. I think a writing group would give me enough accountability and feedback to keep me going. However, it's going to take guts for me to read out loud, in public, to a mixed-gender group, a memoir of my experiences. I've already cleared it with the group leader, I just have to muster the courage to be so public with it.

When I first separated from my ex I joined a meetup group for "survival moms". I thought it would be more of a single moms group where we'd learn to do the things our husbands had previously done (use power equipment, minor car stuff, and so forth) and how to be safe & secure now that we were on our own. Instead it was about survivalists and End Times planning. I just couldn't get into it, so I stopped going.

I am very deliberately trying to find my people and make my village.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9829 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

This is how I get my life back, right?
Yes it is! It feels weird at first but keep going and doing things. It gets better and easier. Keep on building that village!

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
New Member
Member # 41790
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

You are on the right track. Stick with it and good luck

Posts: 16 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, February 27th (Thursday)

Yay for you NG! Love it that you are being deliberate and focused even tho you feel awkward.

BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 15