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User Topic: Article on the 'It Just Happened' excuse
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michele-weinerdavis/my-affair-just-happened_b_4893157.html

I appreciate when people get it. So many don't!


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5725 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Merlin
Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

Among the lamest statements spoken on planet Earth.

Interesting it comes up so often here.

Often followed by all manner of idiotic statements designed to produce sound but not sense.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

haven't yet read the link.

just wanted to pipe up and say the 'it just happened' or 'I didn't mean for it to happen' makes me see RED. You are not a f'ing victim, you are a perpetrator!

I got this so many times, hence why he is now an x. Tell me how 'didn't mean for it to happen' equates to purchasing an airplane ticket and arranging it with your whore before you get there to meet up and refuckfest?? So many deliberate actions = did mean for it to happen, planned and you paid for it to happen. FTG.

apologies it just makes me see red


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

read the post

Affairs aren't spontaneous; they require planning and decision-making

Unhappy marriages don't cause infidelity. Being unfaithful causes infidelity.

^^so very true


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

Good article. Ironically written by the author of a book MrH read when I kicked him out in '97... Before his first A.

Pretty much the only time he read books to try and help the M on his own. The other was Mars vs. Venus. Guess he only took them to heart long enough to win me back.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10982 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
annb
Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

Great article!

Posts: 7389 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Breezy150
Member
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

Great article, I think I will have my WH read it. I heard "we didn't mean to" "It was an accident" and "we never meant to hurt you" from both WH and OW.


I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo


Posts: 539 | Registered: Feb 2014
4everfaithful83
Member
Member # 41761
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, March 8th (Saturday)

What a great article! Thanks for the post!!

Unhappy marriages don't cause infidelity. Being unfaithful causes infidelity.

LOVED this!! ^^^^


Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 31
WBF: 27
Together 7 years
1 doggie
DDay: June 24, 2013
IN R...


Posts: 565 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 8