New Beginnings
User Topic: Just need to vent - selfishness...
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

Some part of NB do suck. As much as I am enjoying the ride mostly, I need to vent today:

- Dealing with the fallout of selfish xh producing more offspring with sparkly panties. DDs unhappy, texting me, telling me how much they hate to be with him etc. His parents unhappy, not putting that on me and being supportive of me and DDs, but I do grieve for them because they are good people with a rotten son who has lost all his marbles and now they have to deal with having a grandchild they will not get to know. Just thinking about future family dynamics make me shudder.

- Dealing with continued saga with my renter, who yet has to move out. Every agreement we made for her to move, she has broken. She knows full well that I really don't want to spend time and money on the eviction process which is not the easiest in California. She pays her rent late, only half because she is supposedly moving out... So she keeps giving me a date and then does nothing to move and then catches up on the second half of her rent, so legally I can't go after her. Hasn't paid utilities for months but keeps happily using laundry etc despite me telling her to use the laundromat. As much as I would like to turn off power, gas and water to her part of the house, I legally can't. She could actually sue me for that!!! And now she is standing in the hallway downstairs bitching about me to her daughters.

- Had some major disappointment with a friend yesterday who really hurt me with what he said to me knowing my story of having lived through infidelity. Some people don't have filters and don't understand the pain and devastation of this. Don't want to share the whole gory story but I was shocked at the heartlessness of some people.

I am emotionally drained today. Made the mistake of having some wine last night with a friend and it sure lived up to its reputation of being a depressant. Cried myself to sleep, but at least my kitten came to join me and keep me company.

VENT over.... Picking myself up and calling a friend in Germany now to just chit chat and take my mind off things. Thanks for listening.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, March 9th (Sunday)


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams

Posts: 25691 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

(((fraueken))) Give yourself today, get a good nights sleep and tomorrow will be better.

As for the renter, are there some steps you can start taking to lessen her options and move that process along? What a nightmare.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

((( fraeuken))) I agree tomorrow will be better

Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 471 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

Yuck, it's not helping that it's that time of the month... phew, I am glad I don't have to interact in person with anybody today. They would not be safe...

So, I just put on loud music and am throwing myself at re-arranging furniture in DDs rooms as we had discussed a while ago and sorting more stuff for donations. If my renter has not vacated by the 15th I will file for eviction with the court on Monday. Time to move on.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, March 9th (Sunday)


That a lot of things that suck. Take today to check out of it. Tomorrow, take a deep breath and kick ass.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 30707
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, March 9th (Sunday)


I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

Your renter saga has convinced me to never share a house with anyone other than family.

What doesn't kill us makes us smaller. - Mario

Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Canada
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

it's not helping that it's that time of the month

ah, missed my thread I started last week titled "stupid fucking hormones" didn't you? it's no consolation, I know, but at least you're not alone.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

Ooh I really feel you about your friend letting you down. I just went through that. A good IRL friend who has seen what I''ve gone through did that to me. I''ve NEVER raised my voice to a female friend before in my life, but I did this time. I was angry at what she was saying and shocked to my core to hear the insensitivity.

And when that happens, when you''re support system kind of jabs at you, it makes shouldering the other stuff loom larger somehow.


[This message edited by cayc at 8:54 PM, March 9th, 2014 (Sunday)]

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3119 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, March 9th (Sunday)

I will eventually post those pictures of the bathroom and bedrooms she has been living in. I swear, it's the stuff you see on TV. Thing is, if you see her, you could never tell.

Unless I absolutely have to, I will never, ever share a place again with anybody. I am looking to downsize next summer when DD16 is off to college and we don't need all this space anymore. Until then I spend less on certain pleasures but will have this place to myself.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
New Member
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, March 10th (Monday)

Not sure if this is the correct forum but I need to vent before I explode. I lost my youngest son (24) in a terrible accident. (His stepson.) Instead of being there to console me, STBXH decided to admit that he has been sleeping with hookers UNPROTECTED for the last 14-15 years of our 19 year marriage. FF 2 months and now he wants to get help and make things work. How many ways can I say NO!

Grief counselor says I cannot properly process my grief until STBXH is out of the picture. I am counting the days.
Thanks for listening.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, March 10th (Monday)

Chessbug, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. That is truly terrible. Welcome to SI, I know it's confusing at first where to post! Soon you will know your way around and find it a 'comfortable' place to share your experience. You might find the Just Found Out Forum or the General forum the best place to start a thread of your own to share your story. We are definitely open to venting, as this is a safe place to do it and I can see you have a lot to vent about!

New Beginnings is generally where people go to talk about starting over again once the dust starts to settle after a separation/divorce and when we are ready to recreate a new life for ourselves.

I wish you all the best as you heal from this trauma.

BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
New Member
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, March 10th (Monday)

Thank you. I am definitely ready to start over. Can't wait for this divorce to be done. I will look into the other locations you mentioned. I plan to land on my feet and get into the single scene ASAP. I am 58 years old and didn't think this is where I would be at this stage. Oh well. Thanks again.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

Frau, you will be just fine. I am so very confident of that.

I bet your panties are more sparkly than your XH's wife! Your are very beautiful inside and out.

Big hugs.

Should I ever get canned from my job, I want to come rent from you and will pay months in advance just to have that privilege.

Stay away from that Vino girl!

Big hugs again Frau!

Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 14