New Beginnings
User Topic: Poll: Hopefully not Tmi
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I love, love, love being single, but I was wondering what do u miss the most about the opposite sex:

I miss broad shoulders
I miss hard bodies
I miss sexy dancing.
I miss hand holding and cuddling
I miss kissing
I miss smiling that special smile for that special someone
I miss being caressed
I miss just hanging out
I miss hearing deep masculine voices
I miss inside jokes
I miss having info that I'm anxious to tell my guy.

Having said all of that, I will not sell my soul again to experience any of it.

Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 13515
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I miss the feeling that I was "special to him" like no one else in the world. That when we were out together we could feel comfortable chatting in different groups and yet somehow would manage to look across the room at each other at the same time and give a special wink to each other....knowing that the best was for later when you got home.

I guess you'd call it a feeling connected in heart and mind...

But it all went to hell in a hand basket, cause I wasnt special and I must have been high on unicorn farts

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Feb 2007
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

Back rubs!

Also I like to be laid on top of (not sexual, honest--just having someone lie on my back and feeling the pressure of their weight is comforting).

I love my friends but I don't think there is anyone I would ask to do these things for me or who even could do them the way a SO does.

Also, having someone to open jars for me, though I just ask my friend and roommate, who is stronger than I am when it comes to lids. Stereotypical, but I struggle with opening things!

And intimate things like looking in someone's eyes in bed...others I won't mention!

oh well, all in due time.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I will steer clear of all the areas I'm in danger of going TMI and say- someone to help me carry my groceries.

me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13 and Divorcing
OC Born May 14

Posts: 129 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I miss cuddling and kissing.

I miss the comforting warmth of someone in bed with me.

I also miss having someone else to mow the yard and deal with plumbing issues.

Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 7824 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

KISSING! its been way too long
Holding hands...
Having someone to help with prioritizing house repairs and working on them together.

BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 365 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I miss sleeping with someone.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I'm not D's yet, so my opinion probably doesn't meant much here. However, I am faced with it as a probability and I think about this stuff.

I am totally there with the jar opening problem! There are contraptions that you can buy at the store that will solve this problem. If that doesn't work, bring the damn jar with you to work and ask for help, call a friend, go to a neighbor. If all else fails, smash the jar on the counter. It will open at that point, and you will never want to buy whatever is in it again.

I would miss all the other stuff, too. When my car breaks down, he is there for me. I won't have that any longer. That is scary to me because I know nothing about car mechanics. Who is going to mow the lawn? ME?? WTF??

Intimacy. Well, I will miss the GENUINE intimacy we had before all the bullshit lying and A. Looking soulfully into his eyes, hasn't happened in so long for me, I can't remember what that is like.

Kissing? No problem. You can get that anytime you want. Just go out for the evening to a singles bar. It isn't love everlasting, but it could feel good for a few hours.

Life isn't perfect. Our spouses messed us up. We have to find the strength and the determination to move forward. Eventually, if we want it and are open to it, we can and we will find true love. I believe this because there is a piece of my heart and soul that my WH did not obliterate.

BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person

Posts: 345 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I miss waking up in the middle of the night and having someone breathing on your neck.
I miss the smell of a man on my sheets.
I miss having someone to talk to about stupid, little things that aren't worth picking up the phone for.
I miss inside jokes.
I miss being attracted to someone who is into me.
I miss regular sex!!

[This message edited by hurtbs at 7:48 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)]

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I miss the look. The "at this moment you are perfect and I am so completely in love with you" look.
We went to a minor league baseball game with some friends of hers. I told their son I would get him a ball. He had never gotten one. I said I promise. Sure enough, one came right to me. I caught it and looked at STBX. I'll never in my life forget that look.

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Member # 35150
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

Sunset- That was a very cool moment. I miss holding hands too. Holding a hand that fit perfect in mine. I miss laying down next to someone with my head on their chest (not his ...just someones) and I miss sharing the mundane trials of the day. I miss sharing our children's joys and hilarity. *sigh*

Digging Deep in the Mud

Posts: 232 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Virginia
Member # 17895
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

nevermind, too depressing

[This message edited by MinorBee at 11:10 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)]

previously married for 20 years
DDays: which time?, OW's which one?

Posts: 457 | Registered: Jan 2008
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)

I agree MinorBee, this is depressing. Because the thing that I miss the most is being able to have someone to turn to and say "Remember when...." to.

Jeez, I need to get myself back to therapy.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8088 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, March 12th (Wednesday)

I miss the companionship.
I miss intelligent conversation.
I miss that feeling of contentment after making love.
I miss trusting someone enough to go out on a limb once again.
I miss a lot.
But its sure better than what I had with XWW.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5732 | Registered: Nov 2007
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, March 12th (Wednesday)

I miss just sleeping with someone--no sex, just knowing there is someone beside me in bed. I sleep with the dogs now, so that helps (there is something seriously wrong in the Universe when STBXWH gets a new girlfriend and I end up sleeping with dogs--just sayin'). That is just about the only thing that I miss and the dogs are pretty good companions. I can do my own plumbing, I've decided to hire out yard maintenance--yep, I can mow but it is worth the $$ to not have to do it myself. I've figured out how to open my own lids (hot water over any stuck lit works great!) and I can move furniture my myself. I am capable. It may not be the "best" but what I do does work! That is the real new beginning for me.

"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

I miss the companionship.
I miss intelligent conversation.
I miss that feeling of contentment after making love.
I miss trusting someone enough to go out on a limb once again.

I want this too. ^^^

Plus, cuddling and watching cool indie films. Which STBXH did not appreciate or even like. His idea was popping in 500 Days of Summer, tucking me in bed, then bailing on me.

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

I miss the ability to trust
I miss cuddles
I miss our evening talks on the verandah as the sun sets
I miss the man I thought I had married
I miss seeing him be a dad to our kids
I miss not being able to tell him about my day
I miss the community he destroyed
I miss the home that we built and where I raised my kids
I miss just being a family
I miss not even being able to give him a hug on our son's wedding day.
I miss the ME that was and the US that will never be again.

I don't miss the disrespect, narcissism and betrayal and lies.

We will be whole again.


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

I would miss all the other stuff, too. When my car breaks down, he is there for me. I won't have that any longer. That is scary to me because I know nothing about car mechanics. Who is going to mow the lawn? ME?? WTF??

You can hire men for that My grass man comes every two weeks without me even having to call him. And when my car had problems, I was surprised at how many male friends volunteered to help out.

I miss back rubs. My back is always sore now. I suppose I could go pay for a massage, but it's just not the same thing.

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1215 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

I miss waking up with a lump in my back. I'd always wake up smiling.

I do miss the "remember when" talk about the girls. Not that he was there for most of them.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

I miss not being cynical & jaded.

Thanks, dickhead.

He can miss my fine ass forever.

Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

Gosh.... I don't miss a thing until I need help with something around the house that requires two people. I'm not sure what that says about me. I've been living alone for a long time now and I love it. I've become selfish of my alone time. I spend 6 days a week in service to other people. The last thing I want is to deal with someone else's needs. :::::sigh:::: I just don't miss anything anymore.

Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink

Posts: 3086 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, March 13th (Thursday)

He can miss my fine ass forever.

Amen, sister! Forever AND a day.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 22