I ended my long-term relationship about 2 weeks ago. I don't regret it--- it was definitely time to say goodbye. But I'm just heartbroken about it.......This is a guy who has been there through major ups and downs with me... he was my best friend... and i could always count on him...... he always talked about wanting to get married and having kids and building a life with me. its definitely something I was leary of at first but it grew on me. and it seemed like as soon as I started to really get serious and plan for the future with him (and let my guard down) he turned into the biggest jackass. Like he knew he had me so he could do whatever he wanted. Didn't cheat on me or anything. But just started flaking out. Gave me this lame excuse about why he couldnt be here with me one day for something VERY important because he had to stay at his house (long story) but then turned around the NEXT day and planned a trip for Miami that weekend with his boys (despite all the crappy excuses he tried to give me the night before). I was PISSED and it was by far the last straw (I was really done when he bailed on me to begin with, but then his bro trip was like salt in the wound).
I had been seriously thinking about ending it for the last couple of months anyway. He just became so inconsistent and unpredictable. like he was the nice loving boyfriend sometimes, but this total stranger at other times. there were just a lot of red flags. I tried to discuss this all with him as it played out earlier this year, but it just went downhill fast. this last incident was when i knew i was done.
but why do i still feel so devastated about it? like I didnt want to end things. i wanted him to be the awesome guy that he used to be. i guess i feel like he just wanted out but wasnt man enough to end things on his own. except that every time i even suggested that we might be better off not together he would change his tune and beg me to stay and promise me the world.
like i just feel played. im fine not being his girlfriend. but im losing my best friend. and im mourning the future wed planned together. like he says he still wants all that. but he damn sure doesnt back it up. when i told him it was over he admitted to half assing everything because he "didnt see us going anywhere" and we "wouldnt have a future together"... like i didnt even want all that originally. HE played the part of the perfect boyfriend and made all the plans and promises in the world. until it came time to cash them in.
like this sucks. like i said i just dont know why i am so upset. i was/am fed up and would rather be alone than in what our relationship deteriorated into. but i guess i am mourning what our relationship used to be and what i thought it could have been :(
any tips for getting over this? like it feels like my divorce all over again.Me: BS
Together 8 years, even surviving 19 months of separation while he was in Iraq
D-day: 5/16/07 (12 hours after I gave birth to our second child)
5/17/07- I kicked him out
D filed on 7/5/07. FINALLY final on 10/13/09