Hello there, JBPEZ28. Welcome. I''m so very sorry that you have the reason to come find us, but I''m so pleased that you DID find us for support.
Please start by reading The Healing Library. It''s in the upper left of your screen in a yellow box. Please also look in the first 3 pages of this forum for any post that has a red "target" next to the title and read the 1st page. These are all written by people who have BTDT. You''ll find a lot of good advice.
Realize that your first and only responsibility right now is to take care of yourself so that you can take care of that precious baby. You have no other responsibilities. Infidelity causes it''s own trauma, and on top of the trauma that you already have experienced, I''m surprised that you can summon enough energy to type! Rest as much as you can, eat what you can and if you can''t eat because you keep throwing up, get whole nutrition drinks and sip them. Stay hydrated. A lot of people forget these simple things after betrayal. And you must stay as healthy as you can for your baby''s sake.
Others will be along to support you. Keep writing to us for support and to vent. We''ll be here for you. Please do try to realize this. No matter what your WH (wayward husband) says, YOU did not cause him to have EAs or PAs. He chose to. He had other choices, but he decided to go ahead and betray you. And only a very sick, very broken jackass, would keep communicating with someone who celebrated the loss of two children. I have no words to express the rage that I feel towards him, for your sake. (((hugs)))