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User Topic: When do you stop doubting?
brokenlove2012
Member
Member # 36550
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, March 16th (Sunday)

When does the time come that you stop doubting that there is more to know. My wh has given me no reason to not believe I know everything but yet I still obsess over the truth. So when does that go away?


Me-BS
Him-WH
Dday-June 16, 2012
Married 17 years, together 23 years
2 Kids (15 & 17)

Posts: 89 | Registered: Aug 2012
MrsDoubtfire
Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, March 16th (Sunday)

It differs from person to person I think.

Depending on the length of the A and the time lapse between Dday and the actual 'act' it can be hard for some WS's to account for every second of their A which has a rebound effect upon their BS.

I no longer ask any questions as I am satisfied I have all the knowledge *I* needed to help me heal.

That is different to having all the answers I guess but I have what I believe to be the entire story.

What I do know is I know enough that I no longer have doubts.

You will know when you have enough information to help you move forwards.

ETA: It all depends on how transparent your WS is too.

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 7:43 AM, March 16th (Sunday)]


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
IsthereEVERanend
Member
Member # 42216
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

Maybe too much knowledge is a bad thing. I wish I had gotten a little more but at this point it's not worth digging off the old scabs to get it. Life will continue without a doubt.


Me: Older than dirt
FWW 63
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot

The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Utah
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

This has been very difficult for me as there was no confession and he lied so much on the second DDay. I mean how could I know everything? It could be I do but due to how things shook out, and a break in NC that I discovered myself, it's apparent HE is not going to tell me it all. Do I know enough to recover? Probably, but the fact that i had to discover it all myself doesn't bode well in me thinking I know the truth


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5253 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
BtraydWife
Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

I don't think it ever goes away because we as BSs can never know for certain that we have all the information. The die down of the worry depends on how R is going.

Additionally, the WS will never again be given the benefit of the doubt. If something iffy comes up the BS will always wonder if there is more going on or if more had gone on. WSs lose this benefit when they step outside of the marriage.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1873 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 5