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User Topic: Paranoid
AngelBetrayed
Member
Member # 28579
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

I had posted a few times since Dd in Feb 2010. FWH has been remorseful. I have been lurking on Si. Our marriage still has the same pre-A issues. Few his very critical of everything and it gets very tiring. He also has a very explosive temper, but I am not in danger. The same can't be said of walls, other inanimate objects. Today I poked the bear. He was complaining about my purse being on a chair. I made a big drama about moving it. He had a hissy and the chair is broken. Now I have been paranoid about him still seeing his AP. Basically questioning to myself whenever he is late getting home from anywhere. Never shared this with him. So today I did something very wrong. I told him that she contacted me to gloat that they were seeing each other. He had a huge fit, the wall in the basement is proof of the anger. After much drama I came clean about lying. Now he has left and I don't know if he is coming back. Not sure how I fell


BW: Me 45
BH: Him 38
together 10 years, married 8
1 DD: 12
Confessed: February 26, 2010
PA 1.5 years with coworker MOW

Posts: 106 | Registered: May 2010
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

If there's no trust maybe you will find separating is more peaceful for you. Did you have transparency with him? Access to his phone, email, etc. I don't know if he was still cheating or not but whether or not he is it doesn't seem like the M is everything it could be. I'm sorry. Perhaps it's just time to throw in the towel.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
DragonBunker
Member
Member # 42551
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

I used to be walking on eggshells because of the explosive temper. Eventually, those men and women will physically hurt someone. Usually their significant other. I know this for a painful fact. And they're always so sorry and it will never happen again. Until next time.

I'm sorry but I can't see it changing for you. This is who he is. And being away from that control (whether you see it or not, you're under some measure of control here) will be good for you. I echo the previous poster- maybe it is time to throw in the towel.


Never looking back with longing. Always looking forward with hope.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Feb 2014
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

You don't think breaking things and scaring you is abuse? At least emotional abuse??

He's not respecting you at all. Id get the hell out of there if I were you. Violence is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2398 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
AngelBetrayed
Member
Member # 28579
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

Thank you for your responses. He has been transparent since DD. I stopped checking everything about two years ago. MOW has reconciled with her BH. The walking on eggshells is going to stop and he will have to deal with it. More concerned about him hurting himself. He has since returned and we are being civil. I am pushing him to get help re his tantrums for lack of a better word


BW: Me 45
BH: Him 38
together 10 years, married 8
1 DD: 12
Confessed: February 26, 2010
PA 1.5 years with coworker MOW

Posts: 106 | Registered: May 2010
sidney2718
New Member
Member # 41190
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

Thank you for your responses. He has been transparent since DD. I stopped checking everything about two years ago. MOW has reconciled with her BH. The walking on eggshells is going to stop and he will have to deal with it. More concerned about him hurting himself. He has since returned and we are being civil. I am pushing him to get help re his tantrums for lack of a better word.

Lots of luck Angel! Don't tell yourself excuses for his behavior.


Posts: 41 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Northeast US
FixYou71
Member
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, March 16th (Sunday)

If nothing else I would be concerned about your daughter growing up in that kind of atmosphere. That can really take it's toll on a child and have long term consequences.


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Married 1993

Posts: 452 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 7