I am so very sorry to hear how much you are hurting.
This forum is amazing and I have only been here a short while.
The 180 method outlined in the Healing Library has already begun to help me. Take a look at it if you have time.
Most of all, take care of yourself and your beautiful baby you are carrying! Give yourself a kiss on the hand and a big hug from me!
We care about you and believe in you.