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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I am free...we reached agreement
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, March 17th (Monday)

OMG, the last few days have been a rollercoaster of hell.

Today, was a settlement conference with asshole. Found out a lot of unpleasant things such as: DD18, that I thought was being alienated, really was being alienated. He was ready to have my first born child testify against me.

Who does evil like that? How would she deal with this betrayal of her mom for the rest of her life?

He wanted me to pay him 150% of my yearly income for various reasons, next week.

His hate of me out weights his love for his kids. I was in his NPD sights......destroy her.

It was a hard day, but he ended up settling for 10% of his initial amount, and that 10% will be paid directly to the kids. My spousal maintenance will go into a 529 directly benefitting my children.

In my mind, I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He did not get any direct cash, which he wanted... The kids got it. So now I have to pay a bunch to my lawyer..but so what....way less than if we went to a hearing.

My lawyer said he can never go after back child support from today back. My oldest is emancipated as of today.


I AM FREE! I AM FREE!!!

I feel like the weight of the world is off my back.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, March 17th (Monday)


Whooooooooo-hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; theyíll scratch you up time and time again but in the end youíre polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52191 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, March 17th (Monday)

His hate of me out weights his love for his kids. I was in his NPD sights......destroy her.

Absolutely right. Unbelievable to realise, right?

I AM FREE! I AM FREE!!!

Same comment. Absolutely right. Unbelievable to realise, right?

I started listening to this song for the whole week prior to the notification that D was finalised. A message from the universe to me. I am free!!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dRcRhWErjjo


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5557 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, March 17th (Monday)

HOORAY!!!!! Congratulations, honey!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25312 | Registered: Aug 2011
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, March 17th (Monday)

SBB..thanks for the song. It is perfect and made me cry.

MOO and NIK..thanks for the support


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Beautiful song, SBB.

Chrysalis, now you can soar, Honey. Fly & soar & live your life without chains.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9664 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, March 17th (Monday)

My friend, you are more a Phoenix than a Crysallis -you know that, don't you? What a wonderful way to out maneuver him!

Your free to fly! I can't wait to see how high you soar without his chains dragging you down.

Love and hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5070 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, March 17th (Monday)

So happy for you! Congratulations!


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1338 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Big celebration (((hugs))).

I hope he chokes on his own disappointment.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5816 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, March 17th (Monday)

With tears, thank you friends.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Good for you.
And FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4620 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Yes, and FTG...FTG...FTG


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
MadeOfScars
Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, March 17th (Monday)

I just got my finalization date today. I am not free, but I see the finish line. My D is not going nearly as tough as your's sounds though, so all I'll say is I am happy you are now free, and you feel like you won. Peace and strength to you and your kids - the worst is over!


ďThe wound is the place where the Light enters you.Ē ― Rumi

Posts: 1101 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Lost15
Member
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, March 17th (Monday)

Congratulations! I'm glad that things went good for you. They didn't go as well for my mediation today.


me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.

Posts: 114 | Registered: Oct 2013
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, March 17th (Monday)

That's great!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4159 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, March 17th (Monday)

What a relief! So awesome to be DONE!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3582 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
woundedby2
Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Fantastic! So happy for you!!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7813 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Freeeeeedoooooooom!!!!!

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:57 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6442 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Bravo!!!!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)


I am feeling so happy for you!!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Oct 2012
hope2014
New Member
Member # 42707
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Congratulations!!!


Me - BS; 35
Him - WH; 34
Married - 15 years
2 Kids - Agess 3 and 6
DDay - 2/26/14

Posts: 49 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Ohio
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Congratulations, and ...
what an asshole.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7643 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Congratulations, Chrys. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm so happy you prevailed.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20154 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Congratulations!!!

Doing the happy dance for you!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 562 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Beyond
Member
Member # 3011
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Wait a minute...he wanted you to pay him 150 percent of your income, right that very minute?! Just when I think my BFF's Super-NPD WXH should be crowned king, someone else comes along with a real contender.

You won BIG! Congratulations!!

-Beyond


XOW.

Posts: 350 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Virginia
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)

You can't make this shit up.

Glad you can move on now!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17390 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, March 18th (Tuesday)

He expected a huge cash payout yesterday. And then the rest when the house sold.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
Beyond
Member
Member # 3011
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Funny what these NPDs "expect," isn't it??

What worries me for you and others with NPD exes is that there's always something else just around the corner - ESPECIALLY if he perceives that you "won" this round. Be prepared.


XOW.

Posts: 350 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Virginia
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, March 18th (Tuesday)

Another battle in the win column!

Congrats!


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21050 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Topic Posts: 29