User Topic: He was jealous
Member # 42530
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, March 20th (Thursday)

While laying in bed with him yesterday morning (he works nights and was just getting up) He said that he was thinking about things at work and he said he was jealous of me. I thanked him for his honesty but throughout the day after he had left for work I am really hurt by his comments. For the first time in our marriage I was truly happy...I mean happy, content. I had a great job, amazing kids, nice house, wonderful friends, I was happy. What does he do, squished it like a bug. So instead of being happy for me, he sleeps with one of my co-workers...BOOM all gone. I am lost. I still have my job (6th month leave) I will go back because I'll be damned if I let that bitch take that power or wind out of my sails...I just need to connect the dots from my head to my heart...but I will be going back.
Im just having a hard time with this..who does that? Why would he hurt me like this? Of course he is sorry and he wants to figure things out to. He said that he needs to go to counselling, and he will I don't have any doubts.
Am I not allowed to be happy? Does he want me to go back to being miserable because I was more connected to him when I was miserable?? That's not fair. I love him dearly but I am so sad and ANGRY!!
We are trying to R...I want to and so does he, but he hurt me the core.I asked him if he was unhappy in our marriage and he said no, but he told me he was unhappy with himself for 6months prior to the A. When I asked him why couldn't he come to me and talk, he said he was afraid of rejection. I don't get it, he was afraid of rejection but he never even tried to approach me. I so hope that he can find some answers with IC.

Me: 38
WH : 40
2 Boys Age 10, 13
D-Day Feb 16 2014
OW: My Co-worker

Posts: 70 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Canada
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, March 20th (Thursday)

I think he needs to dig a little deeper.

He was jealous of you so he decided to blow up your life?

He may be jealous, but it all goes back to how he feels about himself....IC will definitely help.

I wouldn't put any weight on excuses that put the blame on or around your shoulders.

You deserve to be happy and a healthy spouse wants that for their partner.

Don't allow him to manipulate your happiness.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 3:36 PM, March 20th (Thursday)

brokengirl37 -

Please remember to follow the guidelines of the Recon forum when posting. There is to be no venting about or name calling the OP in this forum.

Thank you.

Posts: 35870 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, March 20th (Thursday)

Him being jealous was because he was insecure about himself. He has low self esteem. It's very commom for WSs.

If he is open to IC it will be a good thing for him. It's good that he's being honest.

You also have a right to express frustration and hurt that he never gave you a chance and just decided in his head how you would respond.

This is going to be tough for both of you. Keep being honest with each other.

DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.

Posts: 1890 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Member # 42530
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, March 20th (Thursday)

Sorry about that Jo2Love...wont happen again.

Me: 38
WH : 40
2 Boys Age 10, 13
D-Day Feb 16 2014
OW: My Co-worker

Posts: 70 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 5