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User Topic: Wishing Harm To the AP
TheBestMe
Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I have to admit that I have been a social media stalker. On another thread, I admitted to doing so in the hopes of seeing that the Karma bus has run her a$$ over.

Please remember, AP told me that she had always known about me. It is her boldness and lack of humanity that I find so so so... I realize that in circumstances like this I have to work even harder to be the person that I claim to be. The struggle to be that person is getting easier. Yes, she technically had the last word. Through this forum I have learned that my silence, crickets is my FINAL word. The manner in which I choose to live my life speaks for itself.

However, last night while watching the news and hearing of a shooting death, even before the anchor gave the location, I hoped it was the AP. The shooting was in another part of the country.

Each day I live the damage of the A. Every moment my H is reminded of the A. The stress of his double life may have played a role in exasperating his cancer.

I truly believe that the universe provides balance. We are told that you reap what you sow, there is yin and yang and good overcomes evil.

I was brought up in the Christian view that "you do not call down evil on others". But, there are times when that little devil TheBestMe can't help but whisper in my ear "you know that you want something really bad to happen to that beotch".

Does anyone else ever get those thoughts?

Is the state referred to as "indifference" when these thoughts subside and disappear?

Oh, light bulb moment!!! Hold the presses. If something bad happens to her, then the police will come knocking on my door. The "man" is usually the first suspect. In AP case, it's my H.
Too bad, H would have to deal with that too as part of the A consequence. But, that would be another exponent of embarrassment for me.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 451 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Does anyone else ever get those thoughts?

Yes, I did. Over the years (it's been seven years) I have reached a point of indifference. But honestly, if something happened to her, I would shed no tears.

I felt guilty for feeling this too, but we are human. Good people want to follow the "turn the other cheek; love your enemies" mantra, but sometimes the anger rears its ugly head. Please don't beat yourself up about it.

It is her boldness and lack of humanity that I find so so so... I realize that in circumstances like this I have to work even harder to be the person that I claim to be.

Same here. So, so, so...INHUMAN. It is hard to wrap our heads around their way of thinking. I stopped trying.

Oh, not a 2x4, but a helpful bit of advice. I stopped looking at her social media sites. It has helped tremendously.

Hugs...


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5079 | Registered: May 2007
heartbroken2012
Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

"you know that you want something really bad to happen to that beotch".

I hope something horrible happens to her EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I will until her death.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 551 | Registered: Jan 2013
Freebygrace
Member
Member # 42484
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I wouldn't cry any tears either. I totally messed up the OW's life after I found out. She had used our friendship and the secrets I had shared with her to turn my WH against me ( and she made up a lot of extra things).

So, I used the things I knew to mess up her life too.

I am a Christian too, and I know that God says he will take care of the revenge, but after DDAY, I didn't care.

I feel super guilty about it, but I think it made her go away. At first she was still calling my WH cell every few minutes even though he went NC.

But then I called her H and told him. He filed and won custody of their much adored 2 yo. son. Only getting to see him every other weekend almost killed her. She was overcome with grief and blamed herself ( as she should). I also made her lose her job, and move out of my town, but those are minor compared to losing custody.

But if she got run over by a bus, I wouldn't care. She wanted to destroy my life. She plotted and planned to call CPS and say I was an unfit mother so my WH and her could have custody and get married and leave me out in the cold alone. She convinced my WH that I never loved him.

Yes, her lack of humanity that is the kicker. And her boldness! What is it with these OW? She sat next to us at church! And she thought God was ok with her? I gave her money so she could buy her kids Christmas presents, and she made my WH divinity ( his favorite) to show him that he would have a better life with her.

I stalk social media too. I know she is not happy, and I honestly hope she never is happy again. I hope she dies a lonely old woman.


Me: BS 45
Him: fWH 48
OW: my BFF well not forever apparently
Lots of kids, married 22 years
DDay: 01/16/01
On the fence about R or D?

Posts: 109 | Registered: Feb 2014
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

But then I called her H and told him. He filed and won custody of their much adored 2 yo. son. Only getting to see him every other weekend almost killed her. She was overcome with grief and blamed herself ( as she should). I also made her lose her job, and move out of my town, but those are minor compared to losing custody.

I am envious! Good for you!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5079 | Registered: May 2007
Gemstone
Member
Member # 42000
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Yep wish only bad things for her.
She thinks she did nothing wrong, so I really want Karma to slap her in the face.
When they have been in your home and you then find out what was going on literally under your nose, I think you are entitled to some payback.
I wish I could shove the presents he gave her where the sun don't shine

Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United Kindgdon
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Yes, I want harm to come to AP and I don't feel bad about it at all. I think that is natural and human. Every time there is a motorcycle accident I hope it is OW. I hope OW dies alone and horribly in its home and nobody finds OW for weeks. Its dogs wind up eating OW because they had no food.

OW started moving in on my FWH when I was extremely ill with cancer. OW didn't just wish me harm, it wanted me dead. I am returning the wish to OW.

eta: I am not obsessed with these thoughts. I do have them, but usually from a trigger. The triggers come less and further apart in frequency. It has been four years since d-day. It takes warning: dirty four letter word coming time. It takes a long time to process all this hurt, pain, betrayal, anger that has been thrust upon us. Be kind and gentle with yourself. (((Best)))

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:08 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

She plotted and planned to call CPS and say I was an unfit mother so my WH and her could have custody

Anyone that would do this, deserves the karma she was dealt..


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5141 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
3kids30years
Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I wish great harm on OW. WH asked the other day if I hated OW. I said yes. I told him if she was on fire I would not stop to pee on her. If she was choking, I'd just walk right by. Whenever there is a fatal accident, I hope it is her.

Hate her, oh yes. She is a non person to me. I hope she dies alone and in great pain. I hope her children find out what kind of woman she is. I hope both of her XH's are happy. I hope she leaves me and mine alone.

Would I intentionally hurt her? I don't think so, but the opportunity has not come up, yet.

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 3:25 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we


Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

The OW had three outcomes in mind when she participated in the A. A stable good man to father her child, my life including my home and friends, and an executive position.

Here is what I hope her fate will be: early menopause with the dusty private parts she envisioned I had (my H did not tell her he had a vasectomy years ago, so no child from him), loses every friend she has as well as her home, and gets investigated for misappropriation of money and serves time.
And of course, fall in love with a cheater who leaves her for someone 20 years younger when she hits 50.

I can wait.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Oh, and to add, I do get to see her huge face on the evening news now and again. Just not how I dream I will see her some day. She attends every gathering were she knows she will be seen by the TV media.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I do. Every day. If she's not already dead from some awful disease. She was headed that way. But just in case I do.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Freebygrace
Member
Member # 42484
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

And of course, fall in love with a cheater who leaves her for someone 20 years younger when she hits 50.

YES! I think the best revenge now would be for her current H to cheat on her. And I think it could happen. She gets mad over the dumbest things. She got mad because he came home to poop and stunk up the house. Um, everybody poops, and you could buy air freshener. LOL.

I am such a horrid person, I have even thought about cheating with him. Paybacks would be to steal her H, but the only problem is that I wouldn't do that. I have some morals. I wouldn't want my kids to think I'm that kind of person. But oh the fantasy is wonderful.


Me: BS 45
Him: fWH 48
OW: my BFF well not forever apparently
Lots of kids, married 22 years
DDay: 01/16/01
On the fence about R or D?

Posts: 109 | Registered: Feb 2014
notserene
New Member
Member # 42921
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I told him if she was on fire I would not stop to pee on her.

This!!

She is actually kind of a sad and pathetic person - someone I might feel pity for in other circumstances were it not for her selfish, self-centered attempt to destroy our family. Yes, I know my husband almost did that too, but I still have feelings for him and I don't know her from Adam, so I feel free to hate her.

Frankly I think that just being her, every minute of every day, is enough punishment.


Posts: 16 | Registered: Mar 2014
whattheh
Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Yes I can relate. In our case OW meets up with men on Craigslist so she is putting herself in harms way. She evn has them come to her house without knowing their names. This is what happened with my fWH so that's her MO.

We watched a 48 hrs show where OW was killed and the OM and his BW were pulled in for questioning. That's how the poor BW found out and she failed the lie detector.

So yes these cheaters have opened us to things we would never have been subjected to just by the trash they decided to trade bodily fluids with.


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
foolishlycluless
Member
Member # 41404
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Usually the most harm that I hope on the OW is that before she dies, someone else hurts her as much as she hurt me.

Otherwise, I wouldn't care if the karma bus hit her, backed up, and ran over her again!


BW 55
WH 59
M 30 yrs, together 33 yrs, no children.
D-Day #1: 9/23/2013, EA 15+ months, PA with 34 YO business assoc
D-Day #2: 11/27/2013, OW, EA for 2-3 yrs (2005-2007), PA
D-Day #3: 6/6/2014, found the sex video
Status: Putting on my bitch bo

Posts: 120 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Washington DC
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

(((TheBestMe))) Yes I wished and wanted to harm the MOW for a loooong time. Now I just hope her cancer comes back! MOW knew who i was and had met our children and she too acted boldly on Dday. So yes I do not hope for any best possible outcome for her.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 5:45 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)]


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Uhtred
Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I hope the Other mans head draws up into his ass and has the drizzling shits for the rest of his life. Of course I wish cancer on that mother fucker.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 616 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I don't think the desire ever really goes away.

In my case, OW still tries prying into my life via 3rd parties. It reignites my desire to make the bitch suffer.

I just focus on this: if OW is still w/my XH, that is all the harm in the world. He's still the same guy, the only difference is OW moved into my old spot, freeing up her spot as secret side piece. I know about at least 1 confirmed OOW, so I guess that means there is another 5 or 6 out there. Sufficient punishment for OW, in my book.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
RidingHealingRd
Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I occasionally check the online criminal case lookup to see if MOW has been arrested, yet again, for another DUI. I follow that by googling her name to see if she wrapped he car around a tree while driving intoxicated in hopes of reading her obituary. Someday it shall happen and I shall celebrate in the glory of it all.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2123 | Registered: Nov 2011
NotDefeatedYet
Member
Member # 33642
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I would pour molten metal into his ears and enjoy myself in the process.


"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Texas
33years
Member
Member # 41053
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

OW's business was destroyed last year in May by a tornado....she escaped. Since then she has opened a new business near the same area and I have my fingers crossed as we head into tornado season again!


Me (BS) 58
Him (WH) 57
DD July 10, 2013
My Motto: "I'm fairly certain that nothing anymore is certain"

Posts: 73 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Middle of USA
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

The only thing I really wish? Is that they could feel the true raw emotional and physical pain like I have. To be blind sided and have your life torn from you in and instant. To feel exactly like I have when this pain was inflicted on me.

But do I wish death? Arrests? Cancer? No. I'm indifferent.

If something happened I wouldn't be sad or happy. It just is.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
crossroads2010
Member
Member # 30213
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I made myself stop looking at her fb page...eventually it became easy to resist...now I have to make myself look if I feel suspicious about something...I can't help but hope one I will look and it will be gone.
I have said 100 times why can't she just fall off the face of the earth...my life would be so much easier. The truth of the matter is that she should be so insignificant to me that is shouldn't matter. But I wonder...what if she were gone...how would that change the way I view things...the way I think about my M...our future. To be rid of the possibility that NC could be broken....how would that feel?

Posts: 601 | Registered: Nov 2010
Jls0320
Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I told WS's counselor I hope his EA partner dies a fiery death off a cliff, counselor laughed and hubby looked scared lol. She's pathetic.


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, too much too list, drowning in his sex addiction
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated, divorce filed, he loves his whore lol

Posts: 455 | Registered: Nov 2013
betrayedhusband
Member
Member # 38443
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I had a lot of those same thoughts over the last year. However, I keep coming back to the fact that my fWW is the OW to her AP's BW. I would hope she wouldn't wish harm on my fWW.

I feel a little better each day that I put just a little more distance between those thoughts and feelings. I am trying to let go of the rage. I know it doesn't do me any good to hold onto it.

I hope someday to have inner peace and not allow the thoughts of him to linger, and maybe eventually not think of him at all.

I hope you all will eventually have that peace as well!


Me BS 48
Her fWW 47
Married 24 yrs
Together 30 yrs
DDay 16 Jan 2013
EA 9 months & PA 1 month
Children 2 young adults
Working through it
"Character is what you are when no one is watching"

Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013
StorybookGirl42
Member
Member # 42276
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I don't really have to wish harm on the OW, she does it to herself. Though I do admit, if she got run over by a train, car, bus, etc and died I wouldn't shed any tears.

The OW in my situation is my husband's ex and the mother of his child. They never married which still chaps her hide.

She keeps making the same stupid choices. When he and I first got together, she was living with her mom doing the "full time student" thing. They were fighting for custody and doing a two weeks with each for the time being. She and her mother got into a physical fight (not their first) and she got thrown out of the house so she became homeless.

My husband (then boyfriend) of course took his son and let her see him whenever she good while she was living in her car with her cat. She finally got an apartment (a real slum), but no job. Barely even looks for a job because she's going to use her financial aid and child support from him (which had not been decided) to pay for everything. Oops, fin aid got yanked because she was on academic probation. Starts job hunting but TURNS DOWN several because "they were part time and wouldn't cover all her bills."

Gets evicted, homeless again. Doesn't see her son for two separate spans of 6 weeks at a time. Even sets up time to see him and then doesn't show during those times.

Custody case finally gets finished and my husband wins everything, of course. She's in a homeless halfway house program that got her a job and gave her a place to stay. Gets kicked out of the program because she won't follow the rules or save money as required by the program. Lives at her office job by the good grace of her boss. Gets fired for basically going off on everyone in her office after my husband dumped her after their brief A. Blames my husband for her getting fired.

Homeless again. Still homeless. Has a better job now, at least, but chose to spend her first bonus with the new company on an iPad rather than socking it away for an apartment so she isn't FREAKING HOMELESS ANYMORE.

Her son, her sweet sweet boy who just turned 5, knows his mom is homeless but she won't talk to him about it or reassure him that she's working on herself, etc. So he talks to me about how he's worried about his mom. 5 year olds should not be thinking they need to help their parents. He wants to give her his piggy bank to help her.

She is her own bad karma. Sad thing is, she thinks the world at large is out to get her. Wonder what it is like to be so important that the world revolves around you?


Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I have the champagne ready for when I hear the good news----that karma has given OW what she deserves


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Dec 2012
Flatlined123
Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I hope the slut dies.....a slow, drawn out painful death. I hope she knows it's going to happen and has time to think about it the damage she helped bring to my family.

I hope she looses everything! She shouldn't be allowed to live.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
Scubachick
Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I use to wish many of the same things sistermilkshake did. Lately, I think just being herself and having to look at her pug face in the mirror everyday is punishment enough.

Posts: 716 | Registered: Jul 2013
painfulpast
Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I've seen, via FB, that the whore's life has crumbled. Deaths including her mother, aunt and dog. Thrown out by LTSO (thanks to me letting him know what she is). Had to get a job in a strip mall, where before LTSO paid for it all. She's just a pig, and despite me seeing her life fall apart, I still wait for the day when there is no smile left on her face. As long as she's 'making the best of things', I wait for her to suffer.

I don't obsess like before, but I don't feel badly for wishing her pain. She wanted my life, and was doing all she could to get it. The only way to get it would be for me to suffer. Why then should I not want her suffering?

I hope she, and all unremorseful OW, suffer until their death, and I hope that their death is a long time from now, and that from now until that day there is nothing but suffering.

These are people that laughed as we were lied to, cheated, and betrayed. They were gleeful as we unknowingly suffered, and they prayed for us to be out of the picture in any means necessary. I believe they deserve the life they hoped for us, and that is not a good life.

If that upsets people, then they should look inside and ask why.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
jadedheart
Member
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I work in the local ER. I read every patient's chart for my job, billing/coding and documentation auditing. I am waiting for the day OW comes in for vaginal and/or rectal foreign body, dislocated jaw from giving oral sex, or amoebic dysentery!!


Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 980 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

I hope the slut dies.....a slow, drawn out painful death. I hope she knows it's going to happen and has time to think about it the damage she helped bring to my family.
I hope she looses everything! She shouldn't be allowed to live.


^^^^^^^^Ditto


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Dec 2012
Gman1
Member
Member # 40879
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

I too wanted to get my hands on the OM and I'm not sure what would have happened. Fortunately for me, he lived 2500 miles away so a physical confrontation was not going to happen without an airplane ride which I wasn't willing to do. But, I was able to get my justice through a calculated exposure campaign which resulted in him calling begging me to stop and profusely apologizing. He told me that nothing he could ever do would make up for his mistake and that he was very sorry and that he deserved everything I had done. An apology was all I ever really wanted and when I got it all my rage was gone instantly. It was a huge step forward for my personal healing and I am working quickly towards indifference with the OM now.

Posts: 257 | Registered: Oct 2013
BPhoenix
New Member
Member # 42547
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, April 3rd (Thursday)

[This message edited by BPhoenix at 5:42 PM, April 13th (Sunday)]


Me - BS 28
Him- WH 28 (TheBatCave)
1 amazing 5yr old
DDay 2/6/14 TT still going on:


Posts: 23 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: East coast
BreatheAgain10
Member
Member # 32657
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I just hope she's miserable, broke, lonely and suffers heartbreak worse than she helped inflict on me. I also hope her obese ass develops all the diseases that will threaten her life like diabetes, heart disease, and overall inability to move around as she's so damn huge it hurts! I hope her skank ass gets a terrible std from her whoring around with random dicks on the Internet.
I hope she somehow realizes that I'm better than her in EVERY WAY and that her brief moments with my fWH, were due to HIS brokenness and inability to handle a strong dominant personality like mine, NOT because she's in any way able to compete with me on MY level!

Gosh, I'm mean! LOL
But only when it comes to that OW (ogre woman)
Rant over.


By God's blessing we've survived, but the scars are still tender to the touch.
BW: Me 34yrs FWH: 29yrs
Latest D-Day 04/29/2010
Together: 12yrs Married: 10yrs
DS:16yrs DS:9yrs. DS:Due 6/25/14
Main D-Day that hurts is #4 4/29/10
OW=Yuck!

Posts: 273 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Sunny So. Cal.
Furious1
Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

With OW#4 (my sister), definitely yes. It does help a little that I know her life actually is miserable. Her BH can't stand her. She posts and tweets all the time about how he constantly tells her that the only reason he stays with her is because she is the mother of his kids. Instead of divorcing her, he works out of state with their grown son. When they do come in to visit, him and their son stay with his family. Her daughter can't stand her and lives several hours away. I see her kids more than she does.

My sister has been arrested for dealing drugs (Ice form of meth) out of her home. When her kids were small, the state took them away from her several times for abuse. She is a pain pill addict who routinely messes herself when she's in a stupor. She's always broke. Always begging for money. She's been in and out of more hospitals and rehabs than I can count. She use to be a regular at the free STD clinic.

When people find out for the first time that we are sisters, I always get asked how it's even possible because we are nothing alike. She's the scum of the county who doesn't even get invited to jury duty while I'm the local girl who did good for herself.

My sister is her own worst enemy. I'm just waiting for the day when I read about her in the paper again. I figure she'll either die in an overdose, a car accident while under the influence, or in a blaze of bullets when the second bank heist she tries to pull goes wrong. (She got out of the first one by turning state's evidence.)

With the other OW, I figure they are their own worst enemies too. I won't shed a tear for any of them (my sister included).


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 15 year A with my sister.

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
BreatheAgain10
Member
Member # 32657
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

Wow, Furious1! Just. WOW.
Your sister is living the nightmare many of us wish on the OP.
That's karma!


By God's blessing we've survived, but the scars are still tender to the touch.
BW: Me 34yrs FWH: 29yrs
Latest D-Day 04/29/2010
Together: 12yrs Married: 10yrs
DS:16yrs DS:9yrs. DS:Due 6/25/14
Main D-Day that hurts is #4 4/29/10
OW=Yuck!

Posts: 273 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Sunny So. Cal.
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I would wish harm to the AP if it would help me forget that my wife was the one who really fucked me over, but I haven't managed to forget that yet. There are a thousand men in this town alone who would have happily slept with her, so I won't even pretend that he's anything unique or special.

So my focus is on what she's doing to heal the damage.

The OM can live, die, thrive, flounder, get elected to high office, go to jail, join SI and bare his soul, whatever. I would have said something much different this time last year, but today I really don't give a damn. It helps that we've never met I guess.

I realize that a lot of you are suffering from double betrayals and that for you, it's much harder. You have my sympathies. This shit is hard enough when you can't even picture the AP's face. I'd probably be singing a different tune if he was someone close to me.

I'm focused on my wife and the fact that we're reconciled and moving forward.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 8:26 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1456 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Oftencheatedon
Member
Member # 41268
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

OW was on the prowl because her husband left her to marry his secretary. How horrible a person do you have to be to intentionally inflict that pain on another?

She ended up losing custody of her son who was about 9 which destroyed her. Not that her ex was any better. Felt sorry for the child to have two such sucky parents.


Posts: 109 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: AL
Furious1
Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I truly believe it is karma. She's in the criminal pages while I'm in the social pages. She gets to wear her bracelets behind her back while my bracelets have diamonds. Yeah, gotta love karma. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 18 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 15 year A with my sister.

Posts: 326 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Thella
New Member
Member # 43236
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

My husband had a one-night stand with a coworker, followed by a telephone friendship that lasted a few months. He has sworn up and down the physical contact was an isolated incident and that afterward, he viewed her as a friend, he said he never loved her or anything close to it and she felt similarly (she also told me the same via an awkward FB chat - that it was a mistake she immediately regretted but, being young and naive, thought their friendship was harmless since it was platonic afterward and was "just talking.") Still, when I recently heard that there was a parking deck collapse at the low-level state university she attends (she's a simpleton, to boot), my first thought was, "I hope that pig was crushed to death." At the very least I hoped her shitty car was demolished. Even though she wasn't the one who betrayed me, she knew he was married, she was my friend on FB, she gave my son a present for his first birthday. She was totally culpable. At first, I contemplated emailing every single one of her FB contacts - friends and family and parents included - and telling them in vivid terms what a piece of shit she was. I had her address and I know where she goes to school - I considered contacting her landlord and professors, too, just to humiliate her,. I quickly realized that doing so would make me appear a fool, though - some naive woman who believes an evil home wrecker tried to dig her claws into her husband when he is the one who broke his vow of exclusivity, not her. Truth is, she is insignificant and not worth my time. Also, how can I in good conscience seek to destroy her while at the same time trying to forgive and rebuild with my seemingly truly remorseful and up-to-this point kind and trustworthy husband? That would neither be fair nor right. She's a diversion, just an embodiment of the problem and not the problem in and of itself. Forgive her in your mind - for your own well-being - and move on. Be happy. The best revenge, after all, is living well.

However, I have many friends at the restaurant she and my husband worked at and since their working together was not going to be an option for me, I asked my husband to request a transfer. Instead, his boss transferred her to another restaurant. I also know the manager at her new restaurant, whom I informed of the real reason for her transfer and guess who gets the shittiest stations every night and is only making about $60 per shift? Looks like someone is going to have trouble financing her subpar education. And I don't feel bad about that at all.


Posts: 39 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: East Coast
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I'm still waiting patiently. I hope she gets leprosy


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1397 | Registered: Dec 2012
Restartting
Member
Member # 32825
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I had a lot of those same thoughts over the last year. However, I keep coming back to the fact that my fWW is the OW to her AP's BW. I would hope she wouldn't wish harm on my fWW.

This exactly, just changing the genders. I've actually never wished harm on OW. I've had some very very negative feelings toward her, but for me to think that she deserves any harm because of her actions would mean that FWH deserves the same. He doesn't and neither does she.

She's a person who I don't like and never will, but I don't hope anything bad happens to her. In fact, for her BS's and her children's sake, I hope it doesn't.


Me: BS 35
Him: FWS 43
DDay 7/1/2011
I'm sad there's a typo in my username. I write on my ipad and edit for typos.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jul 2011
Whatever13
New Member
Member # 41468
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I generally like to consider myself to be a kind, warm-hearted individual. That being said, the imagination lying dormant behind these gentle blue eyes does not conform to Christian morals...

I stalk that motherfucker's FB daily, still, after 15 months, with grim hope that his hypothetical syphillis has somehow progressed to cancer. I've actually spent a disturbing amount of time at work thinking about how easily I could destroy him if I saw fit. Clever, subtle ways to completely fuck up his life without him ever knowing it was me. It was pretty sickening, and nothing was ever executed, but I suppose his transgressions warranted such thinking. If I ever met him in person though... fuck.

Anyway, you're obviously not alone here. I hope you, as a Christian, quietly take some comfort in knowing that she'll burn in Hell for all eternity.


Me (BS): 27
Her (WS): 25

DDay #1- 6/09 PA
DDay #2- 3/13 EA

Still riding the roller coaster of ambivalent limbo.


Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2013
Thella
New Member
Member # 43236
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

Also, I was FB stalking for a minute there, too. Don't. Feeding your hate will only make it grow and, to paraphrase Shakespeare, those feelings only serve to mock the meat they feed on. The AP isn't hurt by your private hatred in anyway - only YOU are. Chances are the AP isn't thinking about you, so why should you waste your thoughts, energy, and emotion on them? Let it go. It's hard and, believe me, sometimes I fight the urge to check up on her, but I feel so much better when I put her out of my mind than when I allow myself to indulge in my anger.

[This message edited by Thella at 9:48 PM, May 1st (Thursday)]


Posts: 39 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: East Coast
Girlietoo
Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I don't wish any violence upon her but it is my deepest wish that she be one the receiving end of a soul shattering betrayal.


Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Chicky
Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

I don't care two shits about her now. However, when I was in the thick of DDay's and had had my fill of both of them, I exacted my revenge. (I've posted this before and for some strange reason I saved it - now I know why )

Well, Shrek attempted every way known to whores to wreck my marriage. Once I'd finally reached my boiling point, I DROVE THE DAMN KARMA BUS MYSELF!

1. I made 15 copies of every single smutty email, text message, and chat session (about 75 pages each bundle) and mailed them to her parents, sisters & husbands, brothers & wives, her employer, her best friend, the head of the department of the company she was interviewing with at the time, and her ex-husband since they were in a custody battle. Best $100 I ever spent!

2. I reported her behavior on company time using company resources (cell, land line, and expense account) to her employer.

3. I also informed her employer that she was a regular pot smoker and that they might want to random drug test her - they did!.

#2 & #3 got her terminated from a near 6 figure a year job and the packet I sent to the HR department of the potential employer resulted in her not being hired.

Now, after all that she had the nerve to threaten to sue me and since I am in an alienation of affection state, I invited her to do just that so I could sue her ass right back.

The cherry on top was when I also reminded her that I still had about 15 naked pictures she sent to my husband and I was just waiting for a reason to mail those out as well as use them as Exhibits X, Y, & Z.


There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Whatever13
New Member
Member # 41468
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

Chicky, you're my hero.


Me (BS): 27
Her (WS): 25

DDay #1- 6/09 PA
DDay #2- 3/13 EA

Still riding the roller coaster of ambivalent limbo.


Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2013
sohowamI
Member
Member # 36671
Default  Posted: 3:13 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

Chicky, I wish that I could have done that! Brilliant.

After DD1, when I contacted the BS of main OW to let him know about the affair, his response was not to engage with me because he had known about it for years himself. Personally I wish that a karma bus would somehow affect HIM. I cannot fathom WHY he never tried to end the affair that his wife had been having with my WS for the entire twelve years of his marriage. He knew about it BEFORE they married. Maybe it was possibly because he was infertile and knew that both their children were a product of OW and my WS?


WS had two LTAs of 10 years and 12 years; further 8/9 affairs; EAs, 2 OC. Looks horrific but he is fully immersed in trying to find the 'broken.' It's on-going and painful. If there's a blue sky and sunshine, then it's a good day.

Posts: 168 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: UK
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 4:40 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

im the kind of person that is willing to put myself into harms way to save another. ive abandoned cover in firefights to get a wounded member of my team, ive stopped at car wrecks to get people out of the car and give them first aid, i help old ladies down the stairs, i carry the groceries in for my neighbors who arent healthy, etc. its instinctive.

if i saw one of my wifes OM get hit by a car id quite happily go over to them, pull up a chair, stare in their eyes, and talk smack to them as i watched them die in intense pain.

however, i wouldnt push them in front of that car.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 549 | Registered: Jan 2014
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

I did about 25% of what Chicky did and no regrets.
I don't wish them harm, just made it apparent that their intrusion into my marriage was no longer welcome. They got the message.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
spond
Member
Member # 41686
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

At first yes... months into the process. No.. I couldn't give 2 shits about him.

If it wasn't the AP that my fWW had, it would have been a different AP.


BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA
Reconciling

Posts: 415 | Registered: Dec 2013
steadfast1973
Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

Yes. Anytime there is a shooting, car accident, etc in her area, I hope it's her.

Although, actually... They've been showing a picture of a girl who used stolen credit cards to purchase 1000's of dollars worth of electronics, hoping for info on her ID. And I am pretty sure it's her. But I don't know her real name.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

I wouldn't mind if a tragedy were to befall her, but
I don't think I have to do any wishing. She'll take care of it on her own. An affair with Trac-Fone is pretty self-destructive, so she's off to a darn good start.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8851 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Raven96
Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

My only wish is that she marries someone that makes her a BS. I would like nothing more than for her to experience the pain she so willingly caused me without batting an eye. I realize she is not totally to blame for the A, and I do hold both her and WH individually 100% responsible for my pain; but she tried to take something priceless away from me -- my family unit. I would like someone to do that to her someday.

I don't think she's ever been married, though, and she is in her mid-40s. She will probably just continue to be an OW. Such class!


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

I wish bad things to the wannabe, every time I think of her, which isn't that often.

She's a serial OW, but I hope she falls head over heels someday, and then HE cheats on her ass.
I also hope that potential OW has many friends that egg him on saying "What your girl doesn't know wont hurt her" "If she really cared about you she'd be out partying with you instead of worrying about her job" and "You should totally hook up with her, she's a fun girl"

(all things the wannabe's friends said to my fiance when she was throwing herself at him and he was telling her no)

Stupid skank. I hope she falls into a sinkhole deeper than her cavernous vagina.


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Topic Posts: 57