User Topic: Suspended...something
Member # 38370
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

My first post in D/S. After me being half-in/half-out and the same with my WS, we got into a fight about a non-A topic and then I expanded it and let a lot of words fly. Not my proudest moments.

Two and a half days now that I've been in my new place and we've been NC except for some texts about finances on Monday.

These past 2.5 days have felt almost like WS wasn't (ever) a part of my life. It's as if I'm in suspended disbelief (suspended animation?)

On one hand I'm glad but on the's disconcerting. And if I think too much about how strange it is, then it's a little bit sad.

Did a switch turn off or is this just one phase of many through this next chapter?

ME: 41 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 1997, 2003
Him: 35 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 2004, 3/2012 - 3/2014
Status: Living Apart

Posts: 200 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

I would say that there is going to be some back and forth with your emotions. It's natural and pretty inevitable - this is a massive change in your life.

However, from your tag line it looks as though you have been dealing with these issues in your marriage for a long time. That most likely contributes to your feelings right now - you probably feel peaceful and a bit relieved that at least the chaos and potential for more fighting is over. I think the closer in time the move is to the initial discovery of the A, the longer it takes to get to a point of feeling like a switch may have gone off. It seems like you have had more time to process.

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2878 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday)

Did a switch turn off or is this just one phase of many through this next chapter?

For me it was both. There are phases of loneliness, sadness, and regret, but I find that those are easier to tolerate than the resentment, suspicion, and tension.

As for the switch, it's definitely off. There is zero energy felt.

Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014

Posts: 486 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3