User Topic: vent--marriage bed
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

I guess I am an unfeeling wretch, but I am so not considering reconciliation. Marriage bedding went to Goodwill today. Marriage bed is on the side of the road "free to good home" sign on it. I'd burn it in a Southern voo-doo/Christian ceremony, aka YaYa Sisterhood, but I know any marshmallows or hotdogs roasted upon THAT fire would be unsafe or at the least cursed, despite the whole organic cotton thing.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

The fact that you are not considering R does not make you unfeeling and certainly not a wretch. Sometimes the path ahead is very clear from the beginning. Mine was. And yours seems to be, too.

Purge that bad mojo however you need to and keep walking forward, Winter.

You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato

Posts: 24385 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

Thanks again, NIK. Today's my first day off in 3 weeks, and I'm-a getting out what I gotta. It's hard, but there's a little piece of me, somewhere outside of the situation, that sees the dark humor.

For example, *****warning---TMI***** I've also dissembled the "toy" used in marriage into as many small pieces as I can with a pair of scissors and a screw-driver...then packaged up the approximately 1/132 size pieces in individual plastic grocery bags originally saved to house cat feces from the litter pan... and I am slowly placing those bags into subsequent bags of kitchen garbage so no one could ever piece those 132 parts together and go "THAT is a v______r! For shame," in my very small town...and I REALLY enjoy this process. Suggestions as to the appropriate thread for my sick-humored self here at SI?

'Cause I'm gonna have to laugh to get through this whole.

Bless you, NIK, for paying attention to the rantings of an off-centered, under-attack, determined-to-survive, crazy person.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

You're not crazy, Winterbranch. And you're not fragile like a winter branch either.
Time to sprout new growth and bloom.
Just remember this isn't a sprint and if you find yourself sad or depressed later on it is ok. That's one of the hardest things I've had to do, try to be easy on me for being sad.

What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel

Posts: 1689 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

I can't say as I blame you one bit. I knew from a very early time after dday I wanted to at least try R.

I destroyed plenty of stuff. H didn't have AP in our bed, but I got rid of the bedding too. We got a new bed. Totally changed the bedroom to make it different. I can't tell you why I felt the need to do that, but I did.

H lost a lot of clothes because I just felt the need and I knew he had been with AP in them.

We have successfully R. I won't say completely because I feel like it will always be a work in progress for us.

You do what you feel like you need to.

Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 652 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

whiteflower...I feel sadness, too. This is just my way of being sad. I am WinterBranch because shortly after DDay, an icestorm destroyed the pine tree in my yard, planted by my FIL, who died long before I knew my WH. All night long (just a few nights after my WH had a violent midnight visit and I changed the locks) I listened to those branches breaking like gunshots and was too scared to get out of bed to check it out. I still haven't removed those branches, because when I walk the yard and smell the fresh-pine smell, I think of renewal, instead of the dread I felt that night.

When the dogwood tree beside it blooms white, as it surely will very soon, I'll think of you. Thanks for your support.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 42662
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

Well one thing my IC pressed on me is that you feel the way you feel, your brain will do what it has to do to work through the situation. There is no right or wrong! So screw it. New beds are super comfy anyway. LOL

Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, April 5th (Saturday)'s good to hear of reconciliations...makes me feel good. With my devil-ears on, it's also get to hear of post-DDay destructors...makes me feel less alone! For the record, if reconciliation was possible in this situation, I'd totally be grabbing it! Sadly, it's not.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Mar 2014
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

i replaced the marriage bed too. and mine also lost some of his clothing.

infidelity is crazy making stuff.

hugs winterbranch

Posts: 507 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
Member # 42671
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, April 5th (Saturday)

New beds are AWESOME! (Super-bad 80's guitar riff here, vis-a-vis Wayne's World) And mine's just big enough for me and the furballs. Party on!

Posts: 110 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 10