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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Worse condition since Dday aftermath
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Shocked  Posted: 1:49 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

Tomorrow is court for a post divorce issue.
I feel I am right in principal but I do not have a lawyer because I can't afford one. Me, alone again up against fucktard. He's using the legal system to abuse.

Second thing I have been falsely accused of medical neglect of my teens. How can this be we are at the doctor and/or dentist every month? So after court a dcf social worker wants to come over and tell me the allegations and count beds and look in my cabinets. (intrusive) The allegation apparently was NOT an emergency because it has been 40 days since the call. I wasn't home when she came by ONE time and now she says I must be there or she will file non compliance on me. WTF
Good news is my adult dd21 has been living there since the start of the year she can vouch for me as another adult and for my character.
This is a fucked up country where this shit is allowed to go on.
I have so much anxiety I am barely making it through the workday and will take zannie tonight.


Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
momentintime
Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

Breathe. This too will pass. The social worker will see you are a fit mother. As for court, just imagine all of us standing right there beside you.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2937 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

There is nothing worse than those sorts of false allegations. I feel so bad for you. But if they are found to be false, and I'm sure they will be, DCF will not be happy with him. These false allegations are a horrible waste of resources. I'm pretty sure you can have him charged for maliciously filing a false report.

Posts: 310 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
ruby44
Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

Just a thought but, is it possible the Medical Neglect can also be attributed to prescriptions and medications hence the look thru the cabinets line or the fact that you take them to the doctor too often such as a van munchen by proxy slant. Your ex may be telling them that your children have easy access to your Rxs and abuse them or you are "making" them sick. So think about that before you let them look thru your cabinets. So be careful OK.
Hugs


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

Thank you.
This sucks so bad I want to leave the country and never come back.
The one kid was "cutting" so she was on meds they're saying I didn't give her the meds. This is so untrue. The other has a medical condition so if I don't take her to dr they jump me. They go to therapy too. It runs me ragged with a full time job single parent and part time school.

I'm really feeling alone.
What if his lawyer rips me apart? He's already quoting a page from the MSA that doesn't even exist. I will bring all proof. plus the MSA is onfile at the courthouse. How can he make up things like that? Does he take fucktard's word for he and not do his homework or something.

I really don't know what to do,
I feel like I won't make it through the day.


Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

forgot to add he said he would call off his motion if I signed this contract he emailed me.
It said for me to give up custodial parental rights, move out, pay half mortgage, give up claiming last dd on taxes, and forgive $4700 in arears. I showed this contract to an attorney and she said "He's crazy. Hes's crazy, his contract has nothing to do with the motion he filed."

Please please let this be true.


Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

You will make it through the day.

Repeat as needed.

xanax at bedtime sounds like a good call.

You are prepared (because I know you are) and all that is left to do is show up and be you.

Don't what if yourself all night. Lay out your clothes and shoes and take a deep breath and picture your SI posse in bitch boots and pink boas.

As for the visit? Believe me, DSS makes home visits to absolute HELL HOLES no glass in windows and drunk adults in the home and no shoes without holes and nothing happens. They told you they were counting beds and looking in cabinets. Obviously they don't expect a big issue or to "catch you" doing something or there'd be no warning? Try to see it as more bullshit the stupid ex is throwing and just get through it.

Super MOJO and (((hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5766 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

He's crazy. Always has been, and I feel like it is getting worse.

Take that blackmail piece of crap with you tomorrow. I will pop the popcorn...


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5766 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ruby44
Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

forgot to add he said he would call off his motion if I signed this contract he emailed me.
It said for me to give up custodial parental rights, move out, pay half mortgage, give up claiming last dd on taxes, and forgive $4700 in arears. I showed this contract to an attorney and she said "He's crazy. Hes's crazy, his contract has nothing to do with the motion he filed."

Is the "he" here the lawyer. If it is, definitely take the threatening letter with you. Don't be afraid. In most cases the judge is much more supportive of some one acting on their own. Don't get angry, ask the lawyer to rephrase the question, if he tries to trip you up. Keep calm and ask for clarification. Do not offer any information just answer the question asked. It is easy to want to explain but do not. Do you have questions ready to ask your Ex? You may want to think about that if it is allowed.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)

Sending strength and hugs!


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 633 | Registered: May 2013
ray-ray
Member
Member # 29940
Default  Posted: 3:05 AM, April 10th (Thursday)

Good luck today. I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel. Your asshole x is going to get his ass handed to him by the judge. Court is always nerve racking no matter how much in the right you are. Remember that you are hardcore and that it's going to take more than some false allegations to break you!


So many roads

Posts: 716 | Registered: Oct 2010
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:05 AM, April 10th (Thursday)

forgot to add he said he would call off his motion if I signed this contract he emailed me.
It said for me to give up custodial parental rights, move out, pay half mortgage, give up claiming last dd on taxes, and forgive $4700 in arears. I showed this contract to an attorney and she said "He's crazy. Hes's crazy, his contract has nothing to do with the motion he filed."

Whatever you do make sure this is entered into the record. This is extortion plain and simple. And a judge will not like the fact that he and his lawyer are using the courts precious time and resources on what amounts to him wanting to walk away from his debt. Fuck him and his lawyer. Fight this like your life depends on it. As for DCF, they are obliged by law to make a visit. Chances are they will walk in, look around, ask a couple of questions and be gone within a few minutes. Make sure you mention the fact that you are being squeezed by your XWH with all this false nonsense. That your precious time is being wasted and I would ask to be compensated for all of his misdoings. At the very least it goes on record and can be used if you want to pursue a civil case against him. And after this is all done with I suggest you do just that.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5603 | Registered: Nov 2007
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, April 10th (Thursday)

I would make sure to show a copy of the email offering to drop the complaint!! that clearly shows he is using the courts to manipulate you!

We're right there beside you.

Sending you hugs and strength!!!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, April 10th (Thursday)

Hoping that everything went well for you today!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4713 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 14