Last night, as always when DDs are at home, we all congregated in the kitchen, DD16 starting to do homework, DD11 baking muffins and helping me while somehow entertaining the cat at the same time and me, getting dinner ready. As usual, we chatted and talked about the last few days and just shared what happened in our lives while we were apart and made plans for the time we are together.
Last night all floodgates opened; DDs talked for about 2 hours straight without pause or so it seemed, about the awful time they have at their father's weekend after weekend. Some examples:
'There is always tension in the house. After just living with OW for six months and having gotten her pregnant, he treats her like he treated you in the last year he lived here.' Translation: He verbally, emotionally and financially abuses her.
'He never interacts with us unless we really get on his nerves'. Translation: He is addicted to this game he plays on his iphone 24/7.
'He has no money to buy groceries. They left us behind on Sunday and there was no food for breakfast in the house'. Translation: He spends money left and right on credit cards to demonstrate a superior lifestyle yet is cash poor and broke.
'He takes everything personally. He thinks he does not look a day older than 30 and we told him that he actually looks his age and needs to stop the act. He had a fit, screamed and yelled at us and his girlfriend.' Translation: His NPD is showing more and more.
'He does not want us to text you and call you, mom, because we never text him and call him when we are with you. Why would we? He never has a good word to say and he never shares what he does'. Translation: He is controlling to the n-th degree.
'He keeps asking us about what you do, mom and who you see and who you are with and who comes over. We told him he lost his right to know when he left the family.' Translation: He has moved on but yet he has not.
While I am very proud of my girls how they handle this mess and how they stand up for themselves and what is right and while I am reveling in my new found freedom and am genuinely happy that he is gone from my life, I feel my happiness comes with a hefty price for DDs because they have to suffer through his BS without having me there as a shield. Often times in the past they would not see his true nature because I managed to divert all his NPD actions and anger at me. Now particularly DD16, who is my mini-me with her looks, voice and even movements, is getting the brunt of it.
I can't wait for her to graduate and be able to be out of there and for DD11 to be old enough to go in front of a judge to decide where she wants to be.
End of vent. He just disgusts me so much, I sometimes have to get it out.