User Topic: child custody investigation..and more
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)

Has anyone been involved in a child custody investigation? I have my first appointment with one tomorrow. I talked to my L and have gotten the documents that I need together. (aside, my L told me to smile more....not sure how to take that....) I'm really nervous and would appreciate some pointers. The thing about us is that he isn't a bad dad. I've read the horrors some others have been involved in here on SI, and while he's cheating scum and a rat bastard, he's always been good to the kids. Thanks for listening.

"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)

I know many here have had this done. I'm sure they will be along soon. Just wanted you to know you have been heard, and bump it back up for you for replies!

Just take a deep breath. Be truthful. You can do this.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)

Do you mean a parenting evaluation? If he's a good dad, why is any investigation or evaluation being done at all?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9828 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, April 15th (Tuesday)

Because he has a job (currently) that involves a lot of travel (where he met his AP). And I don't think yanking the kids between houses every other week is good for them. Apparently, it is pretty common in our county.

"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 4:23 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)

How old are the children? I know folks with older kids that find this an effective arrangement. I don't think it's good for the younger set, though.

Can he and does he schedule his travel around the kids' schedule? If not, I wouldn't do the 50/50 because you cannot be counted on him to take his week and you will likely be picking up the slack.

My ex traveled a great deal, so I got primary physical and joint legal AND he had to give me a minimum of 48 hours' notice when he could not take his parenting time. Perhaps something like that is helpful to you.

If he's not a bad father, why the evaluation?


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29667 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

I did a nine-month custody eval. I don't think it's necessary for you to do one, given your situation. Who recommended it?

Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 6