New Beginnings
User Topic: I danced with another man!
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

So Monday night I had some friends over to my house. I had Latin dance music playing and I could tell that everyone was enjoying it, as the majority of my guests were Latinos. One man who recently moved here and has become part of our group (I'll call him TT for Twinkletoes) turned out to be a really terrific dancer, and my friends kept asking him "show us some moves," but as these are partner dances they told him "Dance with Marlie so we can see what to do!"

So he finally asked me to demonstrate with him, and we danced a few different dances although I did bump into him a few times when he started doing extra turns and steps that I wasn't familiar with. Without realizing it, when he asked me if I could dance the cumbia I replied, "Yes, but keep in mind that for the past ten years I danced it with only one man," meaning that I might not know all of his steps and turns as often men from different regions dance slightly different steps.

After everyone left, I sat there thinking to myself how much I had enjoyed that. I'm sure that TT had no idea what that had meant to me and how much I am secretly hoping I'll get to dance with him again another time. Not saying that I was drowning in my drool for him -- although he is not bad-looking at all -- but it felt so wonderful to dance again, and I didn't realize how nice it would be to dance with someone other than the STBX!

BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)

Posts: 211 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

Marlie, what a terrific post!!

My XWH was a stiff, nervous, grumpy, unwilling dance partner. He was also the kind of guy who would have a mantrum if I danced with someone else. I LOVE to dance and it's something I barely got to do during my years with XWH.

Now, I am a dancing fool, out three or four nights a week and I love it! It makes me feel so alive! I do one night of salsa/cumbia/bachatta, one night of West Coast Swing, and one or sometimes two nights of country partner dance and line dancing.

I hear you. It was definitely weird the first time with someone new. I was very aware of it, very nervous, and not exactly graceful due to the nerves. Now I dance with many partners, and I am even brave enough to ask them if no one has asked me. It feels great, and I'm improving quickly since I'm dancing with better dancers. I'm also having way more fun, since THEY are having fun.

Congratulations Marlie! I'm so happy for you. And you should definitely dance with him again! My salsa partner is just a friend, but we have so much fun and I adore dancing with him. Whatever ever you do, have fun!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Posts: 816 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 3:36 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

I sat there thinking to myself how much I had enjoyed that.

Good for you!! What a fun post! I always wanted to dance in my life and now its on my bucket list. It looks like such a release and a boatload of fun with good exercise. Being so close to someone new must of been exhilarating and scary. Once again, GOOD FOR YOU!

Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23

Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
New Member
Member # 41847
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

I applaud you!! Joining a Salsa Dance meetup has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me since my separation. I absolutely love it.

I suggest you get back into it and feels good to be swept off your feet again, literally, doesnt it?

Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 14 yrs
DS:9, DD:5
DDay: Aug '13 LTA

Posts: 28 | Registered: Dec 2013
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Yes, it did!

BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)

Posts: 211 | Registered: Oct 2013
Member # 36726
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

Good for you!

I just recently went back to my ballroom dance teacher with a new partner I have been dating. She wanted to learn and I really wanted to get back to ballroom dance again. So we are going one day a week to classes so she can learn and I can dust off some rust. It is a bit strange to have a new dance partner.

I hope you get an opportunity to dance some more.

BH me 46
WW her 38
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (12, 9)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13

Posts: 518 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: PA
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

I danced on 2 occasions with xh - at our wedding and at a friend's wedding. That was it in 17 years. I never missed it really, he was not a great dancer.

I met xSO at a bar and the first thing we did was dance before we even ever really talked. He was a great dancer, lots of rhythm. I felt wonderful as he was leading me in dance and I feel in love with him that night even though I did not admit that to myself for another 5 months.

I never thought I was good at dancing but with him, I loved it. It had something very sensual as I just blindly followed his lead. To this day I miss that part about him most.

Enjoy, marlie, there is something so liberating about dancing.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

Yay! Sounds like a great time! A couple that I am friends with do all the Latin dances, plus ballroom and square.... they also teach...poetry in motion! My STBX danced like the white boy he is ... no rhthym, no flow ... I love to dance ... haven't gone out dancing since my wedding! You give me hope!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 8