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User Topic: What do you say when meeting your SO's ex?
Ms_Strong
Member
Member # 30883
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

I'm going to a party this weekend, and a woman that my boyfriend dated a few years ago is going to be there. I saw he invited on Facebook so he doesn't even know I know. He's never mentioned her to me ever before so she's not an important part of his past. We have mutual friends that have filled me in. It'll be awkward for me if the "so how do you know X?" comes up, and she answers "We used to date"I don't know what to say to that. The worse thing is, he's going to be at work for the first portion of the party so I'll be there without him - which I was OK with but now she's going to be there, I'm anxious. Ideas please on what to say and how to handle it. Maybe the wittier the better...


Me: 40, happily divorced Dec11
D-Day #1 - 9th Jan 11, D-Day #2 - 13th Jan 11
Kids - 4, 8 yrs

Posts: 269 | Registered: Jan 2011
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

I'm pretty sure I didn't say much of anything when I ended up accidentally running into SO's ex-wife. She did all of the talking. I nodded, a lot. SO and I had really been trying to avoid her, as I had no desire to ever meet her, but we zigged when we should have zagged, and there she was, all excited to be meeting me. It was...awkward. But also kind of funny. It was obvious SO's ex was really curious about me.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12144 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
UndecidedinMA
Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

a woman that my boyfriend dated a few years ago

Say "HI, I am Ms Strong. It is nice to meet you" She is not an ex wife, just a girl he dated. Heck you may have met others & don't know it.

I have met women my FWSO dated, no biggie. He is with me, not them for a reason.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
fireproof
Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)

I would say hi if you are introduced and make conversation if prompted. Otherwise I would treat her like any other guest.

Ex's have moved on themselves. If there is an issue then the more awkward you are the more the situation will feed.

You are his SO now and enjoy! She is non-significant!


Posts: 933 | Registered: Jul 2012
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

It'll be awkward for me if the "so how do you know X?" comes up, and she answers "We used to date"I don't know what to say to that.

You say, "oh, cool" and then change the subject to something innocuous...like "how do you know our host?" or "beautiful weather we've been having lately" etc...Treat her like you would anybody else you meet for the first time at the party. Because that is all she is, someone you are meeting for the first time at the party.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3099 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Ms_Strong
Member
Member # 30883
Default  Posted: 3:55 AM, April 18th (Friday)

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I will play it cool!


Me: 40, happily divorced Dec11
D-Day #1 - 9th Jan 11, D-Day #2 - 13th Jan 11
Kids - 4, 8 yrs

Posts: 269 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 6