Off Topic
User Topic: I got tenure!!!
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Only you guys will appreciate how hard it is to keep focus and produce at work with all of this crap going on in my personal life. For those of you who aren't familiar with the academic world, tenure involves 6 years of hard work to prove yourself. In the last year, your peers (professors from other universities, professors from your own university) review your work and decide whether you're worthy or not. Students weigh in. Everyone gives an opinion, and it's a very public thing. There are seven levels of review. (Really.)

While I was on the tenure track, no only did I have to deal with a cheating husband, I had a special needs kid (my DD didn't walk until 3 and had an ASD diagnosis -- basically, was seriously delayed in many ways), a husband who traveled a lot for work, a husband who was unemployed for 2 years, my parents' house burned down and my dad had a stroke that left him disabled and eventually killed him, my mom had open heart surgery... and lots more.

So I think I can brag a little here and say that I'm pretty damn proud of myself for being able to do a good job despite all of this. And that I've had enough stress in the last few years to last quite a while... So, please, universe, can this be the start of a slightly more fun stage?

BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1061 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Woot! Awesome news!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7781 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Tenure is becoming more and more difficult to get, so you're golden.

I'm so impressed, that is awesome!

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

That is so awesome, Blobette!!!!

Hooray for you! Hearty congratulations...I'm familiar with how difficult achieving tenure is, understand the infidelity impact on life, and have an ASD child as well, so I truly think you have massive rights to brag WTG!

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3893 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Congrats, Blobette. That is so awesome and totally deserved. I hope you are very proud of yourself.

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9844 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, April 17th (Thursday)


Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 42571
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Good for you! What an accomplishment!

Posts: 99 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: SouthernUSA
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

That is an impressive accomplishment! Congratulations!

Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.

Posts: 1684 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Thanks, guys. I feel very lucky in that the perfect job for someone of my background came up -- I didn't have a typical academic career, but was able to transition into an academic job anyway. And in my field there are quite a lot of non-TT positions, where you have to raise your own money through grants etc, so I was very lucky to have gotten a job where my salary is guaranteed and any extra money I raise is gravy. (Although the university puts a lot of pressure on people to get those, and that's the next stage of my career.) Bottom line, I am indeed lucky to have found the "perfect" job for someone like me.

BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1061 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 36521
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Congrats. Such a wonderful accomplishment. :)

Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R

Posts: 509 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

WOW! You GO!!!! What an amazing accomplishment!

"Sometimes your knight in shining armor just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12

Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Member # 43031
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

That is truly awesome. Congrats to you...

BSO -me 38
WSO - her 30
2x DD ages 6 and 4
D-day #1 APR08 (supposed ONS w/OM)
D-day #2 1JAN13 2x ONS w/OM and OW, and a ONS
D-day #3 22APR14 (admitted to another ONS that she didn't fess up to during DDay #2)

Posts: 164 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New England
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Picture the hand clapping emoticon. You go Blobette!!

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, April 17th (Thursday)

Congratulations! What a huge accomplishment, Blobette!

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25842 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

Wonderful news! Great opportunities for you to enjoy your career with one less thing to stress over!

Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3692 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

good for you!

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3126 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, April 17th (Thursday)

Awesome!! My dream is to go back and get a PhD and teach...

Enjoy this accomplishment, it is HUGE!

Posts: 1412 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, April 17th (Thursday)


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, April 17th (Thursday)


I know more than most what you put in to get that. You are AWESOME!!!

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2261 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, April 18th (Friday)


Posts: 3423 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, April 18th (Friday)

Wow...especially now, with bean counters and fund-raisers running universities, getting tenure is a real accomplishment.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10430 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, April 18th (Friday)

That's great! You should celebrate this weekend! All weekend!

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6833 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, April 18th (Friday)

Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Topic Posts: 23