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User Topic: Crap - I got hit by collateral damage
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, April 21st (Monday)

My Wxh is going down in flames. From what I hear, there is a pending lawsuit, possible jail time, etc over his actions.

He owes a lot of people a lot of money. This morning, one of his suppliers called me to collect on a debt because I signed a personal guarantee while we were married.

I told him the situation (they obviously don't care). He asked if I would be willing to offer some amount to get myself removed from this case. I am able to cover this debt(it's not a ton of money). However, I don't think I want to do that. I think it may be better to take my chances in front of a judge on this one.

Unfortunately, I would have to stand beside Wxh to do that.

I am very close to breaking NC, calling wxh, and letting him have a dose of williesmom on a bad day. Nobody wants that, least of all him.

I may have to pull out my "ace in the hole" and call his parents to see if they will satisfy this one.

Ugh.ugh.ugh.

Jagoff.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
deena
Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, April 21st (Monday)

Crap is right!!

But I am sorry I couldn't stop smiling at the rest of your post.

You sound strong with a good sense of humour. I envy that haha.

BTW I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall watching you give him

williesmom on a bad day
.

And telling his parents on him.....lol another kick to the B**** while he is down lol.

(I like this tough talk )

((((((Williesmom)))))))


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 2711 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, April 21st (Monday)

No way should you pay anything, at least without a guarantee that your name as a personal guarantor will be removed in the future.

I don't know how you do that without paying anything...something to check with a lawyer? Is there anything else you signed for his business stuff that you should look into so it doesn't come back to bite you later? I don't know how that stuff works.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5359 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, April 21st (Monday)

We've been divorced for 6 years. I thought that I had myself removed from all of that. The guarantee was signed in 2007.

I'll have to look at the MSA when I get home. I'm thinking that I had a clause in there that said that wxh would assume all debts, future and current, for his business.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
deena
Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, April 21st (Monday)

6 years!!!!!!

Well then you should be free of him by now !!!!

There are statutes of limitation for some crime shorter than that!!


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 2711 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
one2ndchance
Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, April 21st (Monday)

I think it may be better to take my chances in front of a judge on this one.

No matter how sympathetic he/she may be, a judge is going to follow the law. If you signed the guarantee, you're responsible.

He asked if I would be willing to offer some amount to get myself removed from this case.

You could try making him a low ball offer. They probably know your ex is a deadbeat, so they may be happy at least getting a small percentage of the debt.

The alternative to not paying is having your credit score take a big hit.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, April 21st (Monday)

^^What she said. If it's under a couple of hundred dollars I'd pay it on the proviso that I be taken off as guarantor.

Surely there's a way to so that. Do you know what else you went guarantor for him on? Can you preempt and have yourself removed?

Is there a way to collect these and go after him for them in a bundle? I'd pay a few hundred to not have to see the sad clown again. Right now I'd pay thousands.

6 years? SIX?

Note to self - NEVER EVER SIGN A GUARANTEE FOR ANYONE, EVER.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5386 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, April 21st (Monday)

I'm thinking that I had a clause in there that said that wxh would assume all debts, future and current, for his business.
^^^If you find this to be true can you then sue your EX for anything that you end up having to pay? May be worth a call to a lawyer in case there are more land mines out there.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1803 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
nightowl1975
Member
Member # 32212
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, April 21st (Monday)

Before you pay them a dime, please check into what the statute of limitations is for whatever type of debt this is. It is entirely possible the SOL has expired on a debt this old, HOWEVER, the moment you pay anything at all, it re-sets the clock on the SOL.


Me: 37
Ex: 45
OW turned girlfriend: whore
Married 12+ yrs
D Day: 4-22-2010
4 kids ages 3-8 at D day
Filed for D: 5-2010
D final: 7-2010 (OW divorce final 6 months later)

Posts: 305 | Registered: May 2011
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, April 21st (Monday)

Before you pay them a dime, please check into what the statute of limitations is for whatever type of debt this is. It is entirely possible the SOL has expired on a debt this old, HOWEVER, the moment you pay anything at all, it re-sets the clock on the SOL.


Alot of good advice.

1. Don't pay anything yet - if they have waited this long, they can wait longer until you can figure stuff out.

2. they still have to obey the law, so if they start hounding you then you can tell them to back off or you will sue for harrassment.

Talk to a lawyer if you need to to figure out what you can or can not do.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1683 | Registered: Sep 2012
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, April 21st (Monday)

((williesmom))

lots of good advice especially regardin SOL...

Collateral damage is kind of sticky and gross. There needs to be a good detergent to get rid of that kind of yuck when it gets on you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8404 | Registered: Apr 2008
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, April 21st (Monday)

Lawyer, definitely. Or if you have a law school near you, legal aid clinic question. They'd be all over it for practice I'm sure.

What a douchebag...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17098 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, April 21st (Monday)

It is $2200. Not a huge sum, but enough to hurt.

I won't be doing anything for a while.

When we were married, we had a partnership. He got the business in the divorce and created an LLC. He never notified this particular supplier of the change, so they went back to the last paperwork filed.

He is starting to piss me off.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, April 21st (Monday)

He is starting to piss me off.

Only now? Wow, you''re a better woman than me


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - my friend 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'


Posts: 719 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, April 21st (Monday)

So, this afternoon I got the bright idea to send him a text. Here's the exchange:

Me: Wxh, this is Williesmom. I'm inquiring about the $2200 that you owe to XXX. Please let me know if you're going to resolve it or not. Thanks.

Wxh: And what is this any of ur business how did u get my number that is what I want to no.

Me: They are asking me to pay half because I signed a guarantee back in 2007. I don't want to bother you, I just want to know if there is any action required on my part.

Wxh: No. it does not concern u. Who gave u this number

Me: I've had it for years in case I needed it. Awesome. I'll let the collection guy know that it's all yours. Thanks.

I think he brought a knife to a gunfight.

eta: AND I'll also be arming my security system as soon as the puppies and I get back from our walk. He has got to be hopping mad.

[This message edited by Williesmom at 6:03 PM, April 21st (Monday)]


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 21st (Monday)

LOL!!! I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see his head explode when you said you always had the number and you would let the collection guy know. HEHEHEHEHE

Now, get your name off that form!!!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5359 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, April 21st (Monday)

Damn, that would piss me the fuck off.
FTG.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, April 21st (Monday)

I think he brought a knife to a gunfight.

Keep that text!

Man, I'd be mortified if I had collection people after me and they contacted the sad clown.

Still winning, Wxh?


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5386 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:10 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Rightly or wrongly, I always presume that when the divorce decree states that someone will assume <whatever> debt, that it acts as an indemnification of the other person. Meaning.....that if there is a debt out there that has your name still attached to it (because it hasn't been refinanced so that *your* name is no longer attached to it), that if you pay it so that your credit rating doesn't get tanked....that you can go after him for pay-back.

If that's the case, I wouldn't let him ruin my credit over the *principle*. I'd pay that shit off. And then I'd figure out how to get my money back from him. Because of the amount I would think "file a small claims suit" but since it is related to your decree, maybe it would be something that needs to be handled by the family law people.

Your ex is kind of a dick, huh? People are after you guys for money and all he cares about is how you got his number. If the dumb shit would pay his bills and be, oh I don't know....a somewhat responsible human being....then he would never have to hear from you again.

If you think that telling his parents would have any impact on the outcome of this scenario.....I would TOTALLY tell them. But if they aren't in a position to pony up any money, then I'd suggest just dealing with it (or not) yourself.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7675 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:47 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Yeah, I'm still not sure how I'm going to proceed.

Local rumor has it that his parents have been paying his debts, which is why I would even bother contacting them. They would be mortified enough to take care of it immediately.

I guess that's the funny part: he is drowning in debt and facing jail time, and his biggest concern is how his ex-wife got his number? Really?

Just pay your fucking bills like a normal and responsible adult. Oh, I forgot - he's above that. He's better than the lowly people that pay their bills regularly.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Seriously, go to a free consult at an atty.

I did. The coll company has 7 years in my state to collect, then it's too bad for them, and paying even a dollar starts the 7 years over again.

You may be able to be "off the hook" already.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1948 | Registered: Jan 2012
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

I have to agree with making sure that it is not your responsibility. I would also urge you to contact the Collection agency, and let them know you know what the SOL is and that your attorney has advised you to tell them xyz. They will probably leave you alone at that point.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7785 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

I did a quick search and it seems the SOL might be 5 years in your state. Lots of caveats to that but definitely consult with a lawyer


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8404 | Registered: Apr 2008
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)

OK, so after sitting on this for 2 days, I talked to the collection guy. He is giving me until next week to come back with an answer as to what I want to do.

So, tonight I drafted a letter to Wxh's parents. I don't ask them to pay the debt, but I ask them to please call me. I included a copy of everything that the collection agent sent to me.

I was a part of that family for 26 years. They owe me the courtesy of a phone call. I'm putting the letter in the mail tomorrow. They are reasonable people. In the meantime, I'll consult legal counsel. To be continued....

[This message edited by Williesmom at 7:19 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)]


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 1st (Thursday)

It's been a week... have you heard back from xh's parents?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4130 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, May 1st (Thursday)

No, I did not hear anything from the chickenshit parents of the chickenshit wxh.

So, yesterday, I reached an agreement with the collection guy. I also revoked my personal guarantee (a bit like closing the barn door after the horses are out).

I also got the company to agree that that any overpayments on the account would be refunded to me, not wxh. My fear (or dream) would be that he also pays them, and they refund him the amount that I already paid).

This had better be the last of it.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7409 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 26