SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I'm mean and I don't care
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

So to add to the Gnat drama. He informs me today at pick up that the Hello Kitty has to put one of her dogs down tomorrow. I'm a huge dog lover and lost my beloved dog last year, just before DDay. It was devastating to say the least. I think he thought I would actually feel some empathy. Nope, no I don't. Sure, I feel bad for the dog, but not its wretched owner.

I just looked at him and said. Tell her the pain she will feel tomorrow is just 1/1000 of the pain she has caused me. I wish I could x her pain by 1000 tomorrow.

Yeah, probably the nastiest thing I've ever said, but I don't care. I'm glad she's going to have a bad day tomorrow.

[This message edited by newlysingle at 5:14 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)]


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 809 | Registered: Mar 2013
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

It's ok. I am smiling reading your post. Is that bad???


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
Filed, but may R after

Posts: 775 | Registered: Dec 2013
justinpaintoday
Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

sucks to be the dog


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
MadeOfScars
Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Yup, feel sorry for the dog for sure, but not the owner.

It's ok. I am smiling reading your post. Is that bad???

I hope not cuz I am too.

Stay strong newlysingle.


"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

Posts: 866 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Caretaker1
Member
Member # 42777
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

And he would be sharing this....why? And why are you even talking?

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2014
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Gently, that makes him waaaay too important - he's gorging on ego kibbles today. You've also given them some of tang glue they need to hold their relationship together.

A better response would have been crickets or "err, that's none of my business" as if a stranger shared some TMI personal info with you - then you go on your merry way.

Fake it till you make it, NS. For either of them to even attempt to comprehend your pain they would have to have your honour, integrity, empathy. Quit attributing your qualities to them - they don't exist.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5401 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

Well, he also shared it because he wanted me to know that my DD would probably be talking about it. Just to prepare me, I guess. I think he was also hoping I feel sad for HK. He still has hope that I will embrace her as a great second mommy to my kids.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 809 | Registered: Mar 2013
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, April 22nd (Tuesday)

The rest of our conversation was in regards to my DS's speech evaluation coming up. Our conversations generally really do just stick to kids and finances.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 809 | Registered: Mar 2013
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)

Made me smile, too, but then I remembered when I learned my lesson about saying anything like that to xpos. Very early on, I once said to him that there was no way on earth that I could ever hurt him as much as he had hurt me and told him how much he had taken from me (intangibles). He shrugged (my standard response to anything he said normally) and said, "So? What am I supposed to say to that?" And I guess he was right. I haven't shared anything with him since.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2184 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)

Right after my mother died, X called me because he red the obit in the paper. He was sad and upset that I did not tell him. I responded with silence. He took that as an invitation to share and told me that Awhore's father died. This time I was not silence. I said something like "I really don't care. Don't ever mention her to me again. Bye."

I felt no empathy for her or anyone in her family.

So I was mean too and I don't care either.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
7yrsflushed
Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)

A better response would have been crickets or "err, that's none of my business" as if a stranger shared some TMI personal info with you - then you go on your merry way.

I personally like to give give my stbxww the blankest face i can come up and with and say, "And your telling me this becausssssssse....." and yes I drag out s sound followed by more blank stare until she gets the message and moves on.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
D hopefully official in 7/2014

Posts: 1821 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, April 23rd (Wednesday)

I personally like to give give my stbxww the blankest face i can come up and with and say, "And your telling me this becausssssssse....." and yes I drag out s sound followed by more blank stare until she gets the message and moves on.
Bingo!
This one works like a charm and has the added bonus of getting the WS all flustered and off-kilter too.


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6064 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 12