User Topic: can I contact him for this?
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

As I'm starting the D process (he hasn't been served yet), I'm trying not to talk to WH except for kids issues, even then it's email or text. But after his comment to me yesterday about he will see the kids any day and every day, it's up to me, I want to just scream. I want to send him this email.

You walked out on us. You said you didn't want this anymore. It doesn't work that way anymore. Also, interesting how the ones you walked out on are all in therapy for your sickness but you claim after 3 sessions you aren't sick, you just made a mistake and therapy is silly. Your 4 year old twins are in therapy as well as your wife yet we are the innocent ones, but needed help. You puked on us, walked out on us, yet won't get help for your puking.

Ok maybe I just feel better typing it out. No need to send it right?

Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Apr 2014
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

No, definitely don't send that! I'm sure it felt good to type out, but do not send it to him. Don't say it to him, don't tell his mom.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9853 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

No need to send. He is incapable of understanding it (love the puking analogy ).

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1878 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

Sending it to us was great! He won't get it, shouldn't hear it, stop, do not pass go, etc.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

What they said. One thing I found helpful was to post stuff like that here. Another thing I did was to write it out and burn it in the fire pit. Very cleansing.

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, May 2nd (Friday)

The wonderful thing about divorce is that you get to pick your own boundaries, so if you feel that him seeing the kids every and any day doesn't work for you, you get to say that. So throw it back at him. Please give me an idea of what you would like your visitation schedule to look like, then when he responds to it, only answer yes if it works for you, no if it doesn't and make changes as needed to fit your new schedule and life.

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 868 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, May 2nd (Friday)

Thanks everyone. I do feel better after sharing it here!

Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Apr 2014
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 2nd (Friday)

Yes, write it out and post it here. Or in a journal. The urge to send it will pass. I've had many of these moments.

I used to make up angry emails and rants in my head while mowing the lawn when he left me with the house and the kids. Type it on a piece of paper or write it and just save it if you want.

Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7483 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 8