I finally went to my doctor yesterday to talk about my anxiety and lack of sleep. I resisted it for quite a while since I felt like it was a sign of weakness to get medical help. However, I have since come to the realization (thanks to SI'ers) that it's just something I need to do to help me heal and function.
As I took my AD's for the first time today, it marks another step in me accepting my reality. I also see it as the first step in reclaiming me and starting the next chapter of my life.
I'm truly looking forward to a night where I can sleep for more than two hours at a time and maybe actually wake up somewhat refreshed. I forget what that feels like. I know the waking nightmare will still be there to greet me, but maybe it won't bother me as much if I can sleep better.
I really feel ready to take back control of my life and start making changes for me!