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painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Flame  Posted: 6:25 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

Terrible day yesterday.

It began with utter elation as my son, (after a year of homelessness) finally got the call that an apartment had suddenly come available in the subsidized housing unit where his name has been on the list for a year (specifically for the mentally ill).

He could be in it in less than a month. So he ran around with joy, pulling together the documents he needed, (one has to redo and update a 30 page application after having already done it once ) and I was busting my ass trying to help him.

Then he gets a call from the apt mgr that she had run the background check, and a charge that had been dropped a year ago (when he had attempted a suicide by cop) had shown up on the background check, and that she would have to reject his application. I spoke to the solicitors office and asked if they would talk to this lady and explain all this to her, and they agreed. She would not budge. Said that she would send us the paperwork on the appeals process, and we would have to deal with her regional mgr from here on out. A year on the waiting list all for nothing now. I am disgusted. Not with her, but with this MOTHER FUCKING worthless lawyer for never explaining to DS that the charge would have to be expunged to keep it from showing up on a background check. Isn't that what lawyers are FOR??????

So now, here, just when DS has finally been getting better, taking his medicine, trying to work a little bit, he gets kicked in the teeth again.

WHY why why??????


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry PPGA. ((Hugs))


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6726 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

Sending strength to you and DS.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2826 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
sad12008
Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

(((ppga & DS)))

That is just sickening. Worse, as I understand how it can truly be sickening in the primary sense when you're dealing with mental health issues. I'm so sorry, and I can surely understand your rage toward the damn lawyer. I'd also be p*ssed at the housing people, for being so bureaucratic and inflexible.

Is having the charge expunged an option at this point?

I'm just really sorry, ppga...you and your DS have been through enough.

[This message edited by sad12008 at 7:42 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3874 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

Is having the charge expunged an option at this point?
Oh yes, and we are working on that right now. But it could take as long as 14 weeks, and his name is put back down to the bottom of the list until the expungement is complete and the appeals process is complete. And then, of course, there is no guarantee that the appeal with go through.

So, even if the appeal is accepted, it could be at least another year or more before his name would come up again, and then the entire process would have to be repeated. This is such bullshit, and so very depressing. And on top of all this, I have to pretend to be positive and hopeful for my son's sake.

I know I've said this many times here before, but honestly I really don't know how any of us keep going. Life keeps kicking us in the teeth. Does this hell ever end?

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 8:06 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

(((((PPG)))))

Just reading this breaks my heart for you all...I'm so sorry that yet another thing has kicked you down

I know you're strong and I know you'll push through even if it does feel impossible right now. Hang in there.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197738 | Registered: May 2002
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

Thanks DS. I just talked to my BFF, and cried on her shoulder for a while. I feel a tad better.

I wish some one in the legal community would respond to this. Is this something I should report this lawyer to the Bar for? He was and is a horrible lawyer; there are so many other issues we had with this lawyer, and last year when I finally googled the bastard, when I found out how many other reports had been made on him, I was horrified. Truly a piece of work.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

(((PPGA and DS)))

Re: reporting the atty to the Bar. It's not going to change what your son is currently going through, but it might prevent someone else from experiencing the same situation. I'm not a legal professional and this is not legal advice, but I just understand your need to do something.

[This message edited by abbycadabby at 9:12 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2010
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)

(((ppga & son)))

Posts: 35147 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jeaniegirl
Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)

So sorry this is happening to you son.

However -- just FYI, the legal process to expunge will also show up in a background check. So this is often money wasted to obtain it. It's really better to be upfront on any application (housing, employment, etc) and have supporting documents to show a charge was dropped and the person cleared.


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 979 | Registered: Feb 2005
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)

Dear God we needed a miracle, and we may have just received one! Y'all must have been praying for us!!!!

The regional Mgr with Mental Health America just contacted me and said that if the Solicitors office can provide them with documentation that the charge was dismissed "Nolle Prosequi" (do not prosecute) they will move forward with processing DS's application, SO HE DOES NOT have to move to the end of the list!!!!!

Thank you Jesus!!!!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)

My thoughts and hopes are with you and your son.

(((ppga & son)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)

That is wonderful news, ppga!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8003 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)

That is great news! I work in criminal justice, and nowadays, a "true" expunction is very difficult to accomplish. There are just so many electronic records bought and sold now that true compliance is almost impossible.

Glad things are moving forward again.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4516 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, May 8th (Thursday)

YAY!!!! This is awesome news!

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Feb 2010
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, May 8th (Thursday)

That is great news PPGA. I hope it all comes together and he is able to move in and move forward. I suggest that you still file the paperwork to get the expungement (?) so that this can be off his record as completely as possible knowing that noting is ever totally gone from our information based society. At least it can be removed from the official legal records/


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, May 8th (Thursday)

Great news on the update!!!

I'm sorry that DS's lawyer has been so useless

I'm sending all of you more strength and positive thoughts. I hope that this continues to go your way.

((((ppga & DS))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2587 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, May 8th (Thursday)

Sending prayers that this works out for your son.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5067 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, May 8th (Thursday)

Wonderful update! I've been rooting for you and your son. Sending mojo, strength, and all good things.

Posts: 35147 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jeaniegirl
Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, May 8th (Thursday)

So happy to hear this!


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 979 | Registered: Feb 2005
sad12008
Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, May 15th (Thursday)

That's good news, ppga!! I'll be hoping to see a positive update in the near future!!

I do want to strongly encourage you to burn up the internet with reviews on the a$$h*le attorney AND file a complaint with the bar if possible. Yellowpages, Angie's list, etc....make it factual so the lawyer can't do something like sue you or anonymous so you can't be tracked, but warn others away from the jerk.

It sucks to pay big money to someone for professional guidance and wind up feeling you paid for incompetence. Often it seems the problems created by that lack of competence arrive later down the road. Spare someone else that agony/aggravation....attorneys aren't cheap!


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3874 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, May 15th (Thursday)

Sending mojo that all is going well for DS.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Topic Posts: 22