SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: scared and unsure
Chandler
Member
Member # 23038
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, May 14th (Wednesday)

I Think I want a divorce...I don't know how to even begin this process or where to start looking. ...maybe head is spinning help suggestions please


ME:BS Him:WS
D-Day: Too many I lost count
OC born Jan 09
"If happy ever did exist, I would still be holding you like this, all those fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song I'll be sick" -Maroon 5

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Somewhere I never wanted to be
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, May 14th (Wednesday)

Step 1: consult an atty
Step 2: are you in individual counseling? If not, get there
Step 3: eat, drink, sleep so that you can take care of yourself

It will be ok. Just breathe.

(((Hugs)))


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
WeepingBuddhist
Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, May 14th (Wednesday)

Exactly what Nekorb said, except I would swap steps 3 and 2. Meeting with an attorney is the first and most important step. Find out your options and think about s/he says. You don't have to decide today.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 562 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, May 14th (Wednesday)

It seems too simple doesn't it? But yes, those are the 3 steps.

Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, May 14th (Wednesday)

(((Chandler))))

Baby steps. Get knowledge from consulting a lawyer, and your sense of power and control will increase, and the path will become a little clearer. It's not easy, and you can take your time with it, but do get your ducks in a row--gather financial info, etc. You can that way have everything you need to move forward once you feel you'r ready to do so.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
one2ndchance
Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)

Read up on divorce laws at your state government website. Make sure it is the official government website since there are other websites soliciting help.

Most governments offer a description of the procedure explaining the necessary steps involved in a divorce.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Ann56texas
New Member
Member # 42685
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)

First, remember that you don't have to do anything TODAY. Get some advice from a counselor about YOURSELF first. Then find a good divorce attorney in your area. IT always pays to get the best. Get your ducks in a row by making copies of your bank records, and important papers. Make sure you start to put a little cash away just in case. Stay current on your payments so your credit is not damaged. But please think about YOU first. That way if you have kids they will be healthy if you are healthy. And dont take ANYTHING personal. This is a life choice THEY made for themselves.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: texas
Chandler
Member
Member # 23038
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)

Thanks everyone. ..I have no cash saved up and my credit is shot to hell ...I don't think I can afford an attorney but I am going to try and get a free consultation with one and see what my options are.


ME:BS Him:WS
D-Day: Too many I lost count
OC born Jan 09
"If happy ever did exist, I would still be holding you like this, all those fairy tales are full of shit, one more fucking love song I'll be sick" -Maroon 5

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Somewhere I never wanted to be
Topic Posts: 8