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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Today would of been 18 years
strawblond30
Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, May 18th (Sunday)

Today would of been 18 years being married & next month will be a year divorced. I still dream of him weekly & mostly they make me jealous. No I don't want my old life back I don't want anxiety & feelings of extreme insecurities. I just feel rejected. Happy one year of freedom to me I guess


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, May 18th (Sunday)

((((Strawblond))))

Here is a taste of hope for you: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=531442

There is nothing wrong in looking back with sadness today, but keep remembering that your freedom. IS something to celebrate, and that you will continue moving on to a healthier and happier place.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
strawblond30
Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, May 18th (Sunday)

Thank you!


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 957 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, May 18th (Sunday)

I promise, it gets better. The "year of firsts" is tough. It will very nearly break you. Then you get through the next one and the next one and so on until it becomes a memory. This will forever change you but how it changes you is up to you. Have faith, stay strong and be proud that you are moving forward.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1781 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, May 18th (Sunday)

It sounds like you're still grieving.
It can be tough to understand this kind of grief. You don't want him back and glad it is over yet part of you is still mourning a loss; the loss of the marriage. The marriage is dead. (google "ring coffin" you'll either laugh or cry. I cried at the beginning now I feel indifferent) Even if you truly HATE the ex, it is still a loss. Add to that a long term marriage, and well it can be a jumble of feelings and emotions all at once. You sound like a person who has become very honest, even if it was sh*tty. His rejection of you no longer matters. Now get out there and go do something nice for yourself, get your toenails done or an eyebrow wax or just a quiet afternoon. Fill yourself up, he's gone. Do everything you've always wanted to do but didn't because he didn't approve or didn't want to, etc. Focus on the things you don't miss about him.

Posts: 4719 | Registered: Dec 2009
justinpaintoday
Member
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, May 18th (Sunday)

Straw: Sorry friend...I am not there yet but am anticipatoing challeneges along the way. I hope you find peace today.


I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
betrayedidiot
Member
Member # 42868
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, May 19th (Monday)

I'm so sorry I know this is tough. Can you do something special for YOU? You have your own future and freedom to look toward!

My 20th would have been in September. We had planned a special vacation. Maybe I will go with my daughter. she is the only reason to celebrate my marriage.


Me: BS
Married almost 20 years
2 year EA and 1 month PA
DD-16
D-Day: 01/14/14
Separated and divorcing

Posts: 92 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: TX
GotPlayed
Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, May 19th (Monday)

My 19th is six days from now. I moved out at the end of December. I can relate.

Trying not to think about it. At least I don''t have the kids that day. Nobody will see me cry. I hope I don''t hear back from the kids anything.

I should plan something. The beach, maybe. And like you, I''ve been thinking lately that at least I have peace. No more emotional abuse.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Topic Posts: 8