SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: Still Struggle
HurtHubby
Member
Member # 8736
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, May 20th (Tuesday)

Well, it has been years since I have been here but it is one place I feel safe.

I still struggle holding relationships together. Everything is still a red flag to me and I feel helpless. I fall in love so quickly looking for comfort then panic sets in.

Therapy has helped but I have so far to go.

Jut want others to know it can remain a struggle for years after and please do not beat yourself up if you slip up.

My only regret is the people I have hurt along the way.

Thanks for letting me express myself for a bit and best of luck to all of the survivors here.


Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, "Who shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am. Send me."

Posts: 528 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Crossville, TN
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, May 21st (Wednesday)

Thanks for posting. I think I am in a relationship with signs of health but I also feel the alarm bells go off when we have a disagreement. I can go from love and comfort to fear quickly. I do have a foundation of trust so I think that keeps me from being reactive and bouncing off the walls.

You are not helpless. You can get clear on your needs in relationships, practice communicating them in a respectful way, observing the response and deciding to stay or leave if the actions and words together do not meet your needs. I imagine your counselor a are helping you with that. I had to see therapists, do group therapy and later a relationship coach to get myself ona healthier path.

You are worth doing this important work. It will also have a positive effect on others as you progress. Good luck!


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5857 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 21st (Wednesday)

(((((HurtHubby))))

Just want others to know it can remain a struggle for years after and please do not beat yourself up if you slip up.

Amen! It's a journey; you will get there!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 3