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User Topic: Dogs and dating...
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm posting this as light-hearted. I am NOT knocking pet ownership in any way (I had two cats for 13 years), but I've clearly made the right decision here. Since becoming single many of my dog friends have said things like ..."You're single and probably need a dog for companionship...you need to get one" Ummm...no I don't. I like my clean house, I like being able to just turn the key and leave. I don't like to have to rush home early from a date or whatever because of the dog. And I don't like picking up after they poop. And I despise when people bring their dogs to the beach, let them run around unleashed to bother people, they poop on the beach and they kick some sand over it without cleaning it up. Yeah I do see that believe me. I will confront them about it if they walk by as it's so unsanitary where we're walking barefoot and kids are playing.

Seeing someone a little and she has a dog. She has no children. And much of her life revolves around guess what? She has to kennel it a lot just to do things....weekend trips, small overnight and long work days. I can't imagine what she spends on this. We are looking at going to the beach for four days spur of the moment decision (her idea) and she finds out the kennel she uses is full for the weekend. So she inquires if we can get a pet friendly rental on the beach. OK that eliminates about 96% of the places we can stay at. I don't mind the dog coming so much. But it won't be in my brand new car on a five hour drive...sorry but dogs do get car sick and they do have accidents without much warning. LOL

Frankly it all sounds really stressful to own one, especially if you are single. I'm just not a dog person. I like friends who have dogs. Yes they can be cute and kind. And I do understand how people love them. But I view them as a child you have to take care of that really never grows up.

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 8:39 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I have 4 of them, which is a lot.

However, in one of my previous jobs I traveled from Monday morning to Thursday evening. So, I fenced in my yard and got a dog door.

It was pricey, but it's the best decision ever. I don't have to worry about getting home at a certain time. Overnight trips require no extra effort. Trips that are more than a day , I just ask a family member to stop over and throw some food out for the gang.

Since there are 4 of them, they keep each other occupied.

It works for me.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7781 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I agree, Sean. I have had dogs and I have loved them, but they are a lot of work. Like a little kid, you are right. And, as you have shared, dogs are constrictive. Cats you can leave for 3-4 days with lots of food and water and they won't freak out and destroy the house and eat all the food the first 5 minutes you are gone and then shit/puke all over the house and or tear it up!

Irresponsible dog owners are really scourges. Not cleaning up in public places, letting the dog bark incessantly right next door to you, , letting their dogs use your yard for pooping and peeing. *sigh* Dealing with this right now with our new neighbors and their two big rambunctious ill behaved dogs.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9836 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
TrustedHer
Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm just not a dog person.

You can't really explain being a dog person to someone who is not a dog person.

The good news for you is that you know it. The bad news is that you are not only NOT a dog person, you are, basically, an anti-dog person, and that means you probably shouldn't get involved with someone who owns dogs.

For a dog person, the complexity of dealing with long absences is a complication, not a burden.

My living situation hasn't allowed me to own a dog in a few years, and probably won't for a few more years. It's a hole in my life. A small one, but an absence I feel, when I think about it.

But I view them as a child you have to take care of that really never grows up.

A simple minded friend who always loves you unconditionally and who is always happy to be with you. A responsibility, yes, but also an entertaining clown.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5182 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

you are, basically, an anti-dog person, and that means you probably shouldn't get involved with someone who owns dogs

Yup. I hope your 'sorta' girlfriend realizes this and walks away. You're definitely not a match.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20313 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

The bad news is that you are not only NOT a dog person, you are, basically, an anti-dog person,

I'm not an anti-dog person. That's like telling someone because they don't have children that they are anti-children. Be really careful how you generalize that kind of statement. I've always thought about getting one, especially a retired greyhound possibly because I know they need a good home. But it just doesn't fit into my single life right now as I don't want it running my life. Doesn't mean that wouldn't change.

But sad truth is I knew when I posted this I would get those kind of comments.

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 9:23 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm not a dog person either, and probably never will be, but I still love them.

I met up with one though, a couple of years ago, on a sort of date that involved a walk at the dog park with his big beautiful hairy black friend.

Molly, a country dog, got completely freaked out at the kite sailors hanging off the cliff and ran off into traffic.

The guy went panting after her and ran for about a half mile yelling her name before finally catching up to her. He nearly had a heart attack from the run and the panic event.

Needless to say that was the end of the evening... I went home covered in hair and dog slobber.

If you travel with this woman's dog, expect the focus not to be on you.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:26 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

You said it yourself; you're not a dog person.

It has nothing to do with your current lifestyle. You don't like them because they pee, poop, and yes, get carsick. They have to be cared for in some way, shape or form 24-hours a day.

Don't adopt a dog. You'll wind up giving it back. Dogs love unconditionally; the same can't be said for humans.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20313 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm not an anti-dog person.
I agree with you Sean. I like dogs. They can be sweet, fun, warm, loving, perceptive, healing and intuitive. (They also can be mean and bitey. Dogs kill humans. I don't think a cat ever has.) I just don't want the burden of owning one.

That is the difference between the real dog people and the people who like dogs. The former view owning a dog as an honor and joy and the latter are people who will view it as a lot of work and/or constrictive.

That doesn't make us anti dogs, it makes us people aware of our limits. It is offensive for people to say that people are anti dog because we realize our limitations.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9836 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
HobbesTheTiger
Member
Member # 41477
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm very much a dog person and had one for a long time, but I understand what you mean. At times, it really felt like a milder version of having a child.

Also, I would encourage you to explain your feelings about this to this girl you've been seeing. She deserves to know now so she can make an informed decision whether to keep dating you or not.

I know it would be an important factor in my decision, given how much I love dogs.

Again, nothing wrong with you and nothing against you, but maybe you're just too different from her. Which isn't bad, as long as you don't hide it from her.

Best wishes


BxBf, 26
Lots of FOO&other issues, working it through therapy
Legal profession

Posts: 256 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Continental Europe
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

"Pro-dog" and "anti-dog" my God this sounds almost like a political discussion


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21321 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

TR...


It is offensive for people to say that people are anti dog because we realize our limitations.

I agree.

If you're not out shooting or poisoning them, you can't really wear the "anti-dog" label.

I'm more "anti-people-who-leave-dog-shit-bags-everywhere-but-in-the-trash".

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:52 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Bobbi_sue
Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

SeanFLA and Sistermilkshake,

I also choose not to have a dog for most of the same reasons you don't want one. I have noticed that society is more accepting that if you say you don't want children that does NOT make you a child hater. But for some reason if you say you don't want a dog, many will consider you an "anti-dog" person.

I cringe and cry when I hear of people mistreating their pets including dogs. I am NOT a dog hater even though I don't want the responsibility, the smell or the mess, or expense for that matter.

I actually sort of blew up at my sister recently because she has a poodle and every time she ever went to tell me anything about the Poodle, she started with "I know you don't like dogs, but...."
I think I have finally set her straight.

I am so sick of people deciding because I love the freedom of not having pets (especially now that my children are also grown and gone) that makes me a dog hater. At least my H understands. When we were first married 19 years ago, he pushed to get a dog and I pushed not to (and won). Now he absolutely feels the same way I do, probably even more so than me.

Sean, I don't have any advice for you but I do empathize with what you are saying about people automatically giving us the a negative label of being "anti-dog."


Posts: 5764 | Registered: Apr 2006
Schadenfreude
Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

Here is how I handle,it. I tell,people that my favorite breed of dog is the OPD. They'll ask what that is. I tell them honestly Other People's Dog. No food bills, vet bills, no cleaning up, no need to buy cases of lint rollers-- lots of advantages


I'm the same way about boats, too OBP is my favorite make of boat.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
Schadenfreude
Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

Here is how I handle,it. I tell,people that my favorite breed of dog is the OPD. They'll ask what that is. I tell them honestly Other People's Dog. No food bills, vet bills, no cleaning up, no need to buy cases of lint rollers-- lots of advantages


I'm the same way about boats, too OBP is my favorite make of boat.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

Slight t/j:

I have a couple of pics on my OLD profile showing me playing with my friends' dogs and I clearly state "not mine but I love them anyway".

This weekend had a message from a creepy guy on OK Cupid saying

"I notice you have pics with you and dogs in them. How about I take one with you and mine?"

Doggie style innuendos'r'us.

Uh, no...

End t/j

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:23 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

You are anti dog for right now, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am a dog person, lost my two dogs in the past year, but don't have the time as a single mom to have a new dog right now. But I would welcome a SO with a dog, I love dogs. I dog sit for my friends. You on the other hand don't even welcome a dog in a SO, you are pretty anti dog.

In the wise words of Seinfeld - Not that there is anything wrong with that

I am however anti cat.

[This message edited by million pieces at 11:35 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1270 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
TrustedHer
Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, June 2nd (Monday)

It's probably too late to clarify, since there's already emotion here, but when I said "anti-dog person", I meant "anti-dog ownership for myself at this time" person.

As opposed to "anti-dog in all circumstances" or "anti-dog ownership for everyone" or "anti-dog ever around me".

The first is realism, and knowing what you want.

The second is not healthy, I think. Neither is the "everyone should have a dog" or "people who don't like dogs are terrible people" attitude.

I don't think you're in the second group, and I don't think the further discussion changes what I meant to say.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5182 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
getnbtr1
Member
Member # 40540
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

I totally appreciate your original post and have to agree. If you own a dog, you build a lifestyle around it, one that is not for everyone. If you're going to have a dog, you need to do it right. That means being around, and being attentive, and having the dog be part of your life all the time. I don't have a dog for a variety of reasons, and I don't expect to ever have one until my kids are old enough to care for it, if at all. I don't blame you one bit for being a tad annoyed (if you are) about the girlfriends and the dog situation. Hope it works out for you. Woof.

Posts: 98 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: CT
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

I just had this conversation about dogs with someone I dated for a couple of years. He's doing some electrical work for me and came to look at what I wanted done. My dog remembered him and was happy to see him. I asked if he still had his dog and no, she had passed away. I asked if he was going to get another one and he said no for a lot of the reasons named here. I told him I completely agreed with him and then I was horrified because my dog was in the room listening. I know that's irrational. She probably only understood "dog". But I felt really bad for saying that in front of her. Later on I told her I wouldn't get another dog because I couldn't possibly ever replace her. Yeah. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posts: 391 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

I'm not an anti-dog person. That's like telling someone because they don't have children that they are anti-children. Be really careful how you generalize that kind of statement. I've always thought about getting one, especially a retired greyhound possibly because I know they need a good home. But it just doesn't fit into my single life right now as I don't want it running my life. Doesn't mean that wouldn't change.

But sad truth is I knew when I posted this I would get those kind of comments.

WOW...talk about snarky. And yes, that says a lot coming from me.

If you "knew" you'd get those kind of comments, then why did you post it? Just to poke the bear?

I'm just not a dog person

I've always thought about getting one, especially a retired greyhound possibly because I know they need a good home.

If you aren't a dog person, why would you then come back with "I've always thought about getting one"? Is there any wonder why some thought you were anti-dog when you yourself state you aren't a dog person?

If you'd read what Trustedher stated, there wasn't anything ugly or accusatory in his post. He is one poster who goes to great lengths to not be snarky in any way. He wasn't generalizing. He was stating an opinion based on what you stated about yourself and what you are willing to tolerate. You backpedaled after he stated his opinion.

As far as not wanting a pet, no problem there. Don't get one. I completely relate because I took 11 years to finally adopt another dog. I just wasn't up to the commitment. However, it's probably best you don't involve yourself with somebody who does have one. No pet owner wants to feel that their furbaby is a burden.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13818 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
wonderingbull
Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

I don't need to date a dog person... I've got an older (10 y.o.) Golden that's like my shadow... He's my third golden and may end up being my last... KD wasn't interested in the least about him... Didn't bother me... He's my dog not hers.. He's my responsibilty not hers...

When I headed down here to Alabama facing a 13 hour drive I had him jump in the backseat and off we went... I will say that of the three dogs I've had... This is the most laid back and cool dog of the three...

One thing I can't do is date a woman with a cat or cats... I'm severely allergic to them... Even the dander on the clothes causes an asthma attack...

Certainly limits the number of women available for me to date...
That's a bummer...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5984 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

wonderingbull, you should post a pic of your golden. You've mentioned him many times, but I don't think I've ever seen a pic of him.

Please


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13818 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

Sean, I love my cats and they provide me with lots of joy. I'm more of a 'dog' person but a dog just wouldn't suit my home or lifestyle at the moment. TBH I curse ever getting cats when I'm vacuuming hair every two days or lint rollering my girls before we leave the house every day and especially when I'm cleaning up a fur vomit (OMG - I never knew!).

I love other peoples dogs too but I don't want them pissing and shitting all over my house/car or terrorising my girls.

So I get what you're saying. This isn't an indictment on anyone else - it's a statement about you, your lifestyle and your choices. And a problem you're having.

TBH when my kids are grown I wouldn't date someone with little kids for the same reason. Lots of others would feel the same. Would you date a woman with small children?

The problem here for your lady friend is that a dog does suit her lifestyle and she's trying to incorporate it into her life with you. You sound pretty early into your dating so right now it's not a huge problem and you can largely work around it but it will likely become a bigger issue down the line.

You're not the first or the last person who takes something on that ultimately they're not going to be happy with long term.

Maybe this is something you need to consider now. She's not wrong for wanting dogs in her life. You're not wrong for not wanting dogs in your life. You two need to work out how or if this is going to work long term rather than getting resentful of each other. Like kids, she comes as a package.

I'd say that's why you've posted this. I think you're working out this early issue. It's a biggie, IMO.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5618 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
HopeImOverIt
Member
Member # 34517
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

I dated a "dog person" who shared custody of the dog with his ex-wife, just like I share custody of my kids with my Ex. Luckily, this guy's parents were available to dog-sit whenever needed, so we were able to go away for the weekend.

HOWEVER this dog was extremely jealous and would bark or growl whenever I tried to hug or kiss the guy in front of his dog. And OF COURSE the dog slept on the bed with us - or more accurately - BETWEEN us.

The non-stop chaperoning was a bit of a mood killer....


Me: BW (50)
ExWH: (51)
2 teen-age boys
Divorced

Posts: 266 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: PA
HurtsButImOK
Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

Not sure if this is helpful or inflammatory, I am a dog person (have 2 of my own).

My dogs deserve decent treatment, part of that is ensuring they receive the care they NEED (they are not able to do this for themselves). My dogs however are dogs, (albeit part of my family and I loves them muchly) they are still dogs. Therefore I can leave them with extra food and water if I needed to over night for work or have a friend drop in and feed/check on them when its for a longer period of time. My dogs are a consideration/priority in my life but they are not solely my life if that makes sense (my horses are the same).

On the dating side of the house I would not stay in a relationship with a person who could not understand the requirements of pet ownership (not saying this is you), on the other hand I would not tolerate a person putting me below their animal (its a different relationship in my mind).

I think you should be honest with her. Her dog is a dog, it will live without 24/7 over attention. Her assuming/expecting you to be ok with a weekend away with it is a bit selfish IMHO.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
phmh
Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

My relationship with a guy just ended over something else (he really wants kids) but if it hadn't, there's a good chance I would have ended things with him because of his dog. I really love dogs, but I don't like inconsiderate dog owners, and I don't like being around their poorly behaved dogs. His dog was so terribly behaved, and it was all the human's fault. I was embarrassed to be out with him and his dog.

Plus, he let his dogs pee all over his house and destroy the furniture, so it was smelly and disgusting to be in there.

If there is a leash law, leash your dog. I have been attacked by at least 3 dogs while out running, and one of my acquaintances was severely mauled (now wheelchair bound) by three dogs while she was out running. Pay attention to your surroundings so that you don't create a trip wire for a bicyclist because your dog is on a flexi leash across the bike path. If a park says no dogs, just go someplace dogs are welcome.

Inconsiderate people are everywhere (I will save my rant for inconsiderate cyclists, and I bike everywhere) and it really makes me upset when they do this with dogs because I had started to develop a phobia of dogs after being attacked so often.

So anyway, rant out of the way and back to dating/dogs.

I declined a second date with a guy who was way too into his dog. We went to the art museum and at every painting, he told me what his dog would think about it.

"I could never have that painting in my house. The purple would give Lizzie nightmares!"

"Lizzie would be so calmed if I could have this painting for her to see right before she went to bed" etc. etc. etc.

At the end of the date, I got a bit snarky and asked how Lizzie could possibly tolerate him spending a couple of hours on a date with me. He responded that he'd played fetch with her for a couple of hours prior, he promised not to be gone too long, and would take her to the dog park when he got back.

YIKES!!! Not touching that with a 10-foot pole!

That being said, I have parrots, and I have fully expected them to be something that guys wouldn't want to deal with, but all of the guys I've dated long enough to know about/meet them love them and think it's a funny (as opposed to creepy) quirk. Haven't been in a long-term relationship with anyone, so maybe they would change their minds when they were around them more often.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3410 | Registered: Dec 2011
waiting2see
Member
Member # 13767
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, June 2nd (Monday)

My opinion is simple: those who walk on four legs are more loyal--IN GENERAL in my PERSONAL experience--than those who walk on two legs. And that is worth every dime, every minute, and an occasional soiling. Lol.


me: BS
him: XWS

Much of your pain is self-chosen. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

"It's not livin' that you're doin' if it feels like dyin." Ray Lamontagne


Posts: 1932 | Registered: Feb 2007
Red Sox Nation
Member
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, June 8th (Sunday)

I feel the same way you do, Sean. I like animals, but I can't see ever owning a dog, unless it promised never to bark when I was nearby (which, of course, is unrealistic) and could handle a few hours without me every now and then.

When I was in the post-divorce dating stage, I dated a lot of women, mostly through OLD. I tried, more than once, to date women with dogs. I really liked a couple of these women. But I couldn't get past the dog issue, because it gets worse, not better.

One of the most beautiful and interesting women I know - the closest story I have to "our eyes met across a crowded room and I just knew" - had a dog. We went out for about a month, and it felt wrong - like there was another presence in our relationship. I don't want to get into TMI, but it affected everything.

So I had to break it off, and that was difficult because true compatibility and attraction is a hard combination to find in this world. But even though everything but the dog situation added up to compatibility, it wasn't really true compatibility.

Then, a year later, I met my wife, and everything was even better. Far better than trying to force myself into a good, but not perfect, situation.

Don't let people get you down about feeling "anti-dog". It's simply compatibility. I understand the "pro-dog" lifestyle, and if I were a different person, I could live it. But I can't. It really is a fundamental difference, and can't be forced.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1897 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, June 9th (Monday)

I agree you need to have a conversation with her. I am sure she does not expect you to love her dog as much as she does but she needs to understand your limitations. IE that you do not want to drive all that way with the animal in your car, etc.

She might be ok with that and you guys just decided to reschedule it or she might not be but it is better to understand that now.

I am dating someone with cats. I am not a cat person/allergies. We both understand each other's position and adapt.

I would never expect him to get rid of the cats because they are important to his kiddos so I hop up on Benadryl when I visit and he does extra cleaning if I am coming over to help with my reaction (ie washes comforter, etc).

That is my recommendation - you both need to understand each other's stance and limitations for her pet and see if there is a happy medium that doesn't cause issues.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2185 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Topic Posts: 30