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User Topic: Vent:angry at miss hospital corners!
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Flame  Posted: 3:06 PM, June 26th (Thursday)

Since my divorce, I have lost my house in Illinois to foreclosure, had to file for bankruptcy and had to relocate by my fathers house in Indiana. My dreams of being a photographer and journalist to support myself blew up in smoke when the Iphone and blogs murdered those industries I have skills in. I have B.S. degree in Accounting I haven't used for a decade and no money to go back to school even if I DID want to go back into that field. Jobs have been scarce for me to qualify for because I have no network in this new state and little or no contacts in the accounting field because when I was married to the ex, he made good money and let me leave accounting to pursue my passion for photography and journalism.

To my sister all my bad luck and misfortune MUST spell L-O-S-E-R

SHE has a healthy 24 year marriage, three beautiful kids God blessed her with AND a 100K job. After my mother died the same month my marriage blew up in July 2008, Miss Hospital Corners became the "mother" hen of the family to where my own dad treats her like this! Me? I get treated like a doormat and a loser because of ALL the crap that has happened to me and the fact that 6 years out during a recession, my life STILL isn't on track yet.

All of this hasn't sat well with me and the fact that I live with my dad now until I do get on track, I have been taking care of him. Miss Hospital Corners (aka Bitch) has swept ME under her wings and treats me like an imbecile.

Tomorrow my father is having some of our distant relatives over. I work part-time and was all set to get the house ready for the visit today- the day before they come.

Last night, my father is out and the doorbell rings. There on the porch is my sister complete with a bag full of chemicals to clean the house!! It was as if she felt that "I" being such a loser that I am couldn't handle the job!! She pissed me off SO DAMN BAD, I went off on her. WHO THE HELL comes unannounced to a womans home all set to clean it! That is the ULTIMATE INSULT. My father says that they didn't tell me because I would get upset

Damn fucking straight I was upset!!!

This scene made last night has wrecked my day today. It is humiliating enough to have to live with my dad and not in my own home, but to be treated like chopped liver??? I want to get away from these people SO DAMN MUCH.

Sorry this was long but what do you all think of what she did yesterday?


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, June 26th (Thursday)

I completely understand your reaction. Vent away.
There is nothing more infuriating than having a family member do that to you. It's condescending.

My sister who doesn't work, has a housecleaner come every two weeks and pretty much travels the world with her husband, stopped by my house while I was getting ready to mop my kitchen. She came to lament about something. I filled the mop bucket and added some bleach and Pinesol. She freaked and screamed "did you just add bleach and ammonia together". I lost it. I said "I'm 55 effing years old and I think I know how to mop my floor without asphixiating myself by now.

I sooooo understand how you feel.


Posts: 384 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, June 26th (Thursday)

I just want to add, people like your sister don't get what happened to the likes of you and I. They somehow think we just weren't competent enough to land in a wonderful life like she has. Just keep reminding yourself that this was done to you. You didn't do it to yourself. And what she doesn't get is that this could still happen to her. And if it does it will be a huge blow because she somehow thinks she's got life all figured out. So did we. ((((hugs)))

Posts: 384 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, June 26th (Thursday)

Hang in there. My mother made an OCD clone of herself. My sister. I on the other hand found the cleaning, and OCD to be abusive, and not important in my life, now my house isn't scary dirty, but it ain't eat off the floors clean either.

My mother made us clean every Friday afternoon, and would come through our rooms and literally do a white glove test, and check our drawers for orderly, neatly folded clothes, and depending on how nuts she was that particular day, you would get a pass, and could start your weekend, or you may just find yourself sitting on your floor with all the contents of your drawers dumped in a single large pile, because things weren't folded properly.

So now, at 43, I could give a fuck, I wad my panties, I dust when I feel like it, and shove things in the drawers, as long as they close who cares. I make my kids responsible for their things, and make them clean, but nothing crazy. My house is lived in, and comfortable. My mother loves to get digs in whenever she can.

I always say something like when I'm dead and gone, people aren't going to say "Tush was such a great person she kept a clean house. I want them to say, Tush loved life, and was always ready to go do something fun."

My point is if they don't want you to clean, don't thank them for taking the time to do it, and smile. Screw em.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, June 26th (Thursday)

My mother made an OCD clone of herself. My sister

YEP!!! My mother did the same: Miss Hospital Corners!

When I was growing up, my mother would go into my closets and pitch stuff SHE didn't want. THEN, she would organize things the way SHE liked - not that any of us whose belongings they were could find them! It made me fucking mad everyday and every year because I couldn't do a THING to stop her! I couldn't pick the color of my walls or put up a damn poster of Tom Selleck, Christopher Reeve or the BeeGees If something was deemed clutter and it laid there 5 seconds too long, I heard about it and was made to feel like a slob.

I SWORE up one side and down the other that I WOULD NEVER do that to anyone! My exh was another Polish Scorpio OCD person in different ways. Now that I am an adult, divorced and lost my mother to death, I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE for OCD crap. Enters my sister and there is NO FREAKING WAY I AM GOING TO BE BOSSED AROUND BY HER...and she HATES that. SHE wants to be mother hen/alpha dog and boss over EVERYONE in the WHOLE family not just hers.

In the house I lost to foreclosure, the house was clean but not BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS clean. I lived there with my exh husband made a federal case out of folding towels to their very corners, folding all his clothes like they just came from Macy's and the cans in the pantry had to face front. I lived in that house WITHOUT him and without any other OCD people for 6 years until last Sept and there were NO bugs, rats, or maggots there!

Now that I am here by my dad, I am doing the same thing. I do what needs to be done AND MY FATHER IS OK WITH IT. The house is neat, clean and processed as needed. The towels get folded the way "I" WANT THEM, the cans face every which way and my clothes get ironed when needed. My closets don't look like a shelf at Walmart but all the space is used. I can leave something on the floor and it won't get picked up UNTIL I PICK IT UP.

NO, my sister has NO concept of what we have gone through with infidelity and divorce. She never understood what it was like to study either to get good grades. Her WHOLE DAMN life has come easy to her. She has NO EMPATHY toward how the bulk of flawed people function and has NO IDEA or concept of what REALLY is important in life the way we feel now. After the shit all of us on here have been through, putting the saran wrap away off the kitchen counter so relatives who haven't visited in 20 years in the Midwest won't see it IS NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT.

She blows in here and doesn't have the FIRST DAMN clue of how insulting she is to me because I have been a dumb doormat to manipulate all my life in her eyes. I took it because my parents wanted me and my older sibling to get along. Now? I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT about getting along. I stay as far away from her as possible until SHE does shit like she pulled last night.

My ordeal and bad luck in the last 6 years has warped me and made me only want to hang out with people who treat me well. If family doesn't, I have cut them off at the knees in my life.

Tush nurse - you my BFF


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 27th (Friday)

After ALL I said, the bitch came back last night to do more!! And as usual, my father backs HER up This has been modus operandi ALL my life: congratulate her, reprimand me....but reprimand me in SUCH A "Catholic guilt" way to make me want to go out an hang myself for being such a horrible person!

I want to get SO far away from these people! I don't know how. I am stuck here for now

Yes- Guinness made a comeback this week and I am not proud to say I sucked down more bottles because of this shit

I feel SO useless, inadequate, trapped and taking up space on this planet.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, June 27th (Friday)

(((Guiness)))

Let it go, all that bullshit is just a reflection of them. They have such little confidence, or have to have so much validation they have to behave the way they do. IT truly is NOT a reflection on you. It is a reflection on them.

Let it go. Next time she shows up to clean, give her a list of shit you want cleaned, and leave. Go shopping, go do something with friends, go to the driving range, anything but be there with them. Fuck them. That's their screwed up version of life, that they need to feel good. Not yours. Don't take it on, esp if it makes you feel bad.

I get it I really do, my sister is so f'd up she was literally mopping her floor with a house full of guests at her daughters graduation party. Tell me that's normal. Whatever, nutbag. You could be having fun with your kids, and friends, but instead you need mom's approval that your house is immaculate. Makes me want to sprinkle a handful of dirt on the floor. LOL.

Don't beat yourself up over the drinking, just start fresh again today.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, June 27th (Friday)

I don't get it. I hate housework so much, if someone turned up on my doorstep with cleaning equipment, I'd invite them in with mega-hugs and a six-pack of Innis and Gunn!

People cannot "make" you mad, Guinness23. YOU make you mad by reacting to their craziness. You're a big girl now. Try deep breathing before you get all bent out of shape by your mind running all your childhood programs.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 27th (Friday)

I don't get it

When you come from a Polish Catholic OCD household and someone ANYONE comes to your home with cleaning equiptment you didn't ask for, it is a DEEP, DEEP, DEEP reflection on YOU as a woman and her ability to function in life. I already couldn't have children - a basic womanly function ANYONE could do but me. Now, I can't survive in my own home without family coming to "help". THAT is WHY this is so awful! I have already failed so much in life. According to the standards ingrained in my brain, I am non functioning idiot that needs to be spoon fed, diapered and carted around like an imbecile.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, June 27th (Friday)

I get it. My SIL is OCD clean. Whenever she visits someone, she will start cleaning anything that is not up to her standard. It is annoying as hell. It almost makes me want to greet her at the door with a toothbrush and ask her to scrub my baseboards


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17679 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 27th (Friday)

Lynn nailed it. Is is THEIR reflection. You don't have to take it on. You can choose to let it bother you or you can choose to say, "Hey, that's great! I wanted to do ______, so I will be doing that while you clean".

I understand that it makes you feel less than, but I think what Lynn is challenging you to do is think about why it makes you feel that way and if you truly feel that the house is clean enough then you don't need your sisters validation or lack there of to form your opinion. If your sisters favorite color is green and yours is yellow, then you both have different opinions and it doesn't make one color better than another.

At this point, what she is doing is not the issue. How you are letting it make you feel is the issue. Just my opinion.

I get where you are at, better than you can imagine. I come from a very traditional family. I have a career and no kids. I choose to define my role and what others think of that is water off a ducks back.

((Guiness))) vent here and smile at your sister as you go do what you WANT to do.

Edited to add
OR

You could just grab the stuff out of your sisters hand and say,
"I got this, thanks" and close the door. (Borrowed from NewLeases kids)

That would empower you and make you feel better!

[This message edited by Pentup at 11:37 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
LydiaE
Member
Member # 42571
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, June 27th (Friday)

Firstly, try not to feel so defensive. It will only make you feel worse about yourself.

I noticed when my mother died earlier this year, my older sister tried to appoint herself as matriarch. It is really creepy and almost gross.

When we were trying to coordinate when we could travel to visit my Dad and go through my Mom's things, my sister insisted that all travel plans be approved by her and then she would relay them to my Dad. When my husband and I made our own travel plans and informed her of the dates (and that Dad was OK with them), she was livid.

Then, she took the antique earrings of my mothers that I wore on my wedding day. Sisters are overrated!!!


Posts: 91 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: SouthernUSA
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 27th (Friday)

(((Guiness23))

I understand your frustration. Your sis and your dad conspired against you. However, if someone wants to clean my house, come on ovah! Seriously. Pick your battles. It is your dad's house too, so if he wanted her in there cleaning, it was his prerogative to set that up. Try not to let it get under your skin.

But this gave me pause. I'm reading this as a victim mentality thing but I hope I'm wrong. You know that you chose to leave accounting to pursue your passion, right?

he made good money and let me leave accounting to pursue my passion for photography and journalism

I think what you're saying is that you felt safe enough in your marriage financially to pursue your passion and you resent your exH for blowing up your marriage and your safety net. Is that what you meant?

(((Guiness23)))


Posts: 1270 | Registered: Feb 2010
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, June 27th (Friday)

I think what you're saying is that you felt safe enough in your marriage financially to pursue your passion and you resent your exH for blowing up your marriage and your safety net. Is that what you meant?

No. The first part is true.

When I was in high school, I noticed my interest in creating things. My family said no. Pick something else. So to humor them, I picked accounting. My EXH has NO responsibility in that. What he saw is his wife deteriorating day by day because she was in a field she couldn't stand. On January 13, 2004, I was fired from the "accounting" job. Since then when I was married I tried and still try to may a living at doing creative things. When my marriage blew up in 2008, I had bigger things to worry with his infidelity.

Note: I NEVER EVER held it against him for abandoning me when I was all set to make a new career for myself. On the contrary, it was like...."oh shit...THIS dream is dead, too along with my marriage."

Till you said it, I never thought of that. What angers me most now is my inability to support MYSELF with something I know will not get me fired.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, June 28th (Saturday)

Something to add to your repertoire:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20273 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, June 28th (Saturday)

repertoire


Ok. Repertoire=theatrics. I apologize for being theatrical here.

Eleanor Roosevelt was brilliant for quotes. People use this quote in life about feeling inferior to validate themselves. In my experience being a mentally flawed person, if you COULD make the decision to NOT let someone make you inferior, there IS NO problem. If you can't, the problem exists because the problem is a deep rooted subconscious opinion of yourself that you strive to defend for your entire life no matter what is said or how strong you become in life. Only people who ARE like this understands. The mentally strong people from day one like my sister DO NOT.

I am not perfect. I have been stepped on and treated like chopped liver all my life. I am done with this....even if it means fighting someone to clean the house I am living in. If people in my life and on SI think that I am a nutcase and flawed, I already know I am which is why I am part of the 40K members on this site.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, June 28th (Saturday)

Repertoire: a stock of skills or types of behavior that a person habitually uses

Time to stop being defensive and start being proactive.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 7:42 PM, June 28th (Saturday)]


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20273 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, June 28th (Saturday)

Have you found a 12-step program yet? I truly think that a 12-step program with a mentor who cares for you will be such a blessing in your life.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9817 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
movingforward777
Member
Member # 6850
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

I always have said that my house is "clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be lived in"!
When I was married to my ex I worked full time, volunteered at the kid's school on a regular basis, volunteered in the community a lot, and did the bulk of the cleaning at home and helped with the "outside" work too. We shared the parenting fairly equally because we both worked 12 hr shifts and it worked better for the kids.
I raised happy, healthy kids, usually had all the neighbourhood kids/friends at our house, and never thought twice about going on school trips.
Now, I am living with my SO, who for many years lived alone, didn't care if his house was clean, had no kids, and a bit of a "hoarder".
I have realized that I am so very happy to not have a man that holds me to high standards when it comes to housework! I enjoy keeping our home neat and tidy, clean on a regular basis, but don't sweat the small stuff...and believe me...everything is small stuff.
It is a joy to feel relaxed and comfortable in my own home.
That is the key...not letting anyone else make you feel guilty because your place doesn't live up to THEIR standards.....tell her to pound salt and let you take care of the house!


You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith

Posts: 4845 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: Ontario
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

That is the key...not letting anyone else make you feel guilty because your place doesn't live up to THEIR standards.....tell her to pound salt and let you take care of the house!

Thank you SO much for understanding my point of view and not telling me to blow this off. She reminds me of my mother and I have zero tolerance for that. ZERO. But - the rest of them members here and you are right: I shouldn't allow this to bother me this deeply. I had an epiphany today: I am WHAT GOD SAYS I am...not my sister or any other naysayer. I really need to focus on that.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
hummingbird8
Member
Member # 25086
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

I know someone else asked and you didn't answer, but are you getting help for your alcoholism?

Also I'm sorry if I'm mistaken but isn't it your dad's house? If he wants her to clean, I'm not sure what right you have to get mad about that.


Posts: 507 | Registered: Aug 2009
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Been thinking about your post today, G.

I get that this pisses you off and you need to vent that frustration off.

But there's more going on here. there's a family dynamic that you've all been conditioned to and everyone is playing their part beautifully and predictably.

At some point, you might want to ask yourself if you just want to keep playing the part or if you want to write yourself a new part. Because you can if you want to. For me, that new part would start by saying, fuck them. And then go do something else. You can have any part in life that you want. You just have to decide what it is and start playing that part until it feels natural. Your family members that have been conditioned to see you in a certain light will be the last to recognize this. That's how it works. But fuck them, you don't change for them, you change for you.

You seek out alcohol when you feel low. That's another part that needs to be rewritten. I hope you have found a program to help you with this.

((((G23))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

I'm sorry if I'm mistaken but isn't it your dad's house? If he wants her to clean, I'm not sure what right you have to get mad about that.

That is the logic she used too.

See? The PROBLEM is is that she doesn't live here and I do. If she wanted to help our father, include me not just show up and micromanage the whole thing as if I was an imbecile.

Yes, I had sought out Guinness when I had felt low. BUT I have SEVERELY cut back and I don't need 12 steps to prove that I have been hurting myself with it and it needs to go. I have analyzed why I do this and have been on AA online. I revoked my right to casually tie one on and I know that. I fell off the wagon with this episode because my sister brings it out in me which I am not proud of and this was the final confrontation during PMS to make me flip. I have made HUGE strides since I posted on SI about my Guinness problem. The noose around my neck that will keep everyone wondering whether I am a still a lush is my user name I can't change. If I have posted here without posting drunk (and you all would know that) chalk it up to me moving in the right direction with it.

Thank you all for responding.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

At some point, you might want to ask yourself if you just want to keep playing the part or if you want to write yourself a new part. Because you can if you want to.

Yes, Tesla, I thought about this today and you are right. I am not what she feels I am but what God says I am and that makes me be able to say fuck their attitudes and displeasure at me.

I'm sorry my gut reaction seems to always want to feel respect from my family regardless of whose house it is. I guess that is asking the sun to come out at night. She wanted to barge into the house I lost to foreclosure and mircromanage it, too, if I had lived closer. She has no boundaries and my father plays into her hands.

Fuck it. I've already told her to come by to clean during the week while I sit and get a suntan or eat bon-bons


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Mods, please lock this thread.

Thank you


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, June 30th (Monday)

I want you to prepare yourself that getting healthy for you, and that would include emotional health as well as physical & financial health, may result in you losing your family, or at least some members of your family. That is certainly how things have played out for me.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9817 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, June 30th (Monday)

oops

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 1:01 AM, June 30th (Monday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9817 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hummingbird8
Member
Member # 25086
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, June 30th (Monday)

I'm sorry but your sister didn't make you fall off the wagon. Your an alcoholic and that's how you cope.

And that's the same logic she used because that's true. I would be incensed if I had allowed someone to be a guest in my home and then they threw a fit if I wanted someone to come over to clean it. I would tell them if they didn't like it they are free to leave. You are a guest in your father's home. He is doing you a favor. It doesn't matter if you agree if he wants your sister to clean HIS home.

Please seek help.


Posts: 507 | Registered: Aug 2009
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 5:22 AM, June 30th (Monday)

I want you to prepare yourself that getting healthy for you, and that would include emotional health as well as physical & financial health, may result in you losing your family, or at least some members of your family.

Thank you, Nature Girl. I am already seeing this.

I'm sorry but your sister didn't make you fall off the wagon. Your an alcoholic and that's how you cope.

Please seek help.

God, I hope you aren't a nurse, Hummingbird!!!! In AA, NO ONE tells a recovering alcoholic THIS.

[This message edited by Guinness23 at 5:27 AM, June 30th (Monday)]


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 5:24 AM, June 30th (Monday)

Again, Mods, PLEASE lock this thread


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 30