SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Just Found Out
User Topic: Day 4 of hard 180-need advice
mamajen00
Member
Member # 43810
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

[This message edited by mamajen00 at 6:29 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

Posts: 58 | Registered: Jun 2014
tfkeel
Member
Member # 19517
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Saturday was your overnight day and you chose to attend a bachelor party.

I would not allow any "loosely created" schedules.

If you need to, go get a mediator to help you create a visitation (and, a support) schedule.

If he blows his visitation time because he wants to do something else, he can come back at the next scheduled time.


Posts: 460 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Pennsylvania
CantSeeInTheDark
Member
Member # 43231
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Consistency is vital for children.

Stick to what you arranged.

Seek support in an agreement if you need to later.


Me 35y
Him 48y
1 Awesome son 3y

DD1 May 2013
DD2 April 2014

Currently wondering how someone who vowed so much, can care so little


Posts: 110 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Gloucestershire
HonoringVows
New Member
Member # 41043
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

He chose the bachelor party over his son. He did not make the phone call in advance to let you know. You were the one to call him, yes? I wouldn't respond to his text! Or if you feel the need to, tell him you already made plans with your son and Maybe next Saturday will work for him!

[This message edited by HonoringVows at 3:14 PM, June 29th (Sunday)]


Me: 45
WH: 56
Married almost 21 years
3 adult children: 24, 19, 18
1st found out July 2010
Found phone calls and texts to/from escorts April 2014
Just Started Counseling

Posts: 16 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: California
heme
Member
Member # 40684
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

I would tell him "Sorry but you decided against seeing your son, your next arranged day is x"... Also you need to file custody papers BEFORE he decides to. Even if you guys end up staying together you want something legal that shows this is what is agreed to.


BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013
amanda123
Member
Member # 43207
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Dont tell me he didnt know that there was a bachelor party on and he suddenly found out a couple of days beforehand. Why leave it to the last minute to tell you that he had other plans? What if you had not contacted him first and you sat and waited for him to pick up your little one, and your little one was expecting him and dad was a no show? You also have a life, what if you had plans yourself?
I would say no, sorry you missed your visit, you can see him when your next visit is scheduled that is if you dont have anything else on.
Your WH should not be disrespectful to you or his child.

Posts: 149 | Registered: Apr 2014
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

No freaking way. This is what I was talking about in your other thread.
Tell him he knowingly passed up his scheduled time and you have other plans and will not be available.
Send it with the original times and then clearly state his next scheduled time and be done and even if you don't have plans he doesn't need to know that.

No more happy family bullshit.
He made this mess time to deal with consequences. No more spending time with daddy at your place either. Make him take him and go to his place.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8594 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
ShiningAutumn8
Member
Member # 42558
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Just ignore. That tells him all he needs to know.

Posts: 409 | Registered: Feb 2014
mamajen00
Member
Member # 43810
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

[This message edited by mamajen00 at 6:29 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

Posts: 58 | Registered: Jun 2014
Badhurt
Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, June 29th (Sunday)

Nice going

You are doing great!!

Don't give an inch

Glad you are feeling a little better


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
Topic Posts: 10