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User Topic: The guy who left his child to die in a hot car
Tickingtock
Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

You know the Georgia man who left his young child in his car all day while he was at work? Apparently he was sexting 6 different women while he was at work and his child was dying in the parking lot. Coincidence? Or did he desperately want out of his situation as a husband and father?


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 171 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

This man and his wife both need to be put in a hot car and left to close to death, and then revived, and done over and over again.

She was in on it too.

It is sick and twisted, and that beautiful baby boy did nothing to deserve such a horrific life. I am sickened by this, and can't even bear to think what kind of messed up you would have to be to even do this.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8420 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
plainpain
Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Oh wow. I have no idea about that, but my guess is that if that is true he was just totally distracted, although for the worst possible of reasons. In the most innocent of circumstances, it can be surprisingly easy to forget you have a sleeping child in the back of your car if you are out of your routine. "A" brain appears to thrive in compartmentalization and induces a "fog" of sorts. It kills a lot of common sense and caution and healthy instinct. I am sure that consequence leaves a guilt and a remorse that would be absolutely unbearable.

I guess I should hear the news story before I comment. So incredibly sad.

[This message edited by plainpain at 2:49 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 807 | Registered: Jul 2013
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Was the wife in on it? If someone can link some evidence or reports I'd love to read it... I just read the article about the sexting. Sick people.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1249 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

The child wasn't asleep. The father had just left a fast food place, where both of them were inside eating breakfast. His job is less than a mile away..daycare was even closer.

The child was awake.

And he came outside on his lunch break to put something in his car. I think he came out to see if the baby was dead yet.

He searched..and his wife did as well...how long it takes for a child to die in a hot car..and how hot it'd have to be for death to occur.

Both are guilty.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7381 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I'm with Judge Tushnurse


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21092 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
plainpain
Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Oh my God. That is the most horrific thing ever.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 807 | Registered: Jul 2013
Charity411
Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt until I turned on CNN at lunch and started listening to this hearing. I felt gut punched. I agree that his wife was in on it. I think this is like that woman who shot her kids because her boyfriend left because he didn't want kids. I think this is beyond depraved.

Posts: 325 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

When DS10 was about 5, we had been playing outside, and I lost him for a little while. We ran around everywhere looking for him. Then I finally hear the tiniest of screams. I look at my car, and he's inside, banging on the window. I rush over to open the car, and omg, within just 5 minutes or so, he was sweating like a pig, hot as hell, heart racing so fast. I got him immediately inside and into a bath to lower his temperature.

Seeing the terror in his eyes when I opened that door was horrific, so this story is especially hard for me..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2230 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

He searched..and his wife did as well...how long it takes for a child to die in a hot car..and how hot it'd have to be for death to occur.

How can a person do this, I had heard about him going out at lunch as well. It just sickens me.

Accidents happen, this was not an accident.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8420 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Oh my God..they researched the info on how long it takes? Did they see what a person goes through while they are baking in a hot car..I would have to say there is no punishment severe enough for these evil people. That poor innocent child.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5020 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

One of the girls he was sexting is 17.

There was also a life insurance policy on the baby,$25,000.

They were having financial trouble.

I hate this monster.

Poor sweet baby.

[This message edited by confused615 at 6:03 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7381 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

The police have found evidence of them both watching videos of animals dying because they were left in a hot car... So I don't know if there are videos of people dying like that ( and I'm speechless to think there are videos of animals suffering like this while someone videos it...)

So yeah. They both need to burn in hell here on earth before they go burn for eternity in hell. Disgusting.

ETA spelling

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 6:18 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3579 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I wish somehow that baby would have been taken out of there before it was too late and someone who loved him would have raised him. I hope the angels are loving him now.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Ever since I read that Fatal Distraction article years ago, this has been a fear of mine. To research what happens & then deliberately inflict that torture on an innocent baby - it's just sick. It's unthinkable.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6721 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

The wife sat in court chomping on bubble gun with no emotion.

The father looked up childless freedom lifestyles, how to survive in prison.

The 17 yr old was sixteen when the sexting started

A 2,000 and 25,000 life insurance on the little baby

Watched the video of a vet demonstrating how a dog would die in a car.

Also videos on people killing themselves and people dying in war.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I wish somehow that baby would have been taken out of there before it was too late and someone who loved him would have raised him. I hope the angels are loving him now.

Do you want to KNOW HOW MANY people like me were unable to have kids in life???

EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear about some heartless "parent" starving/torturing/killing their children I SCREAM at the top of my thoughts upward WHY GOD??? WHY DID YOU GIVE THESE HEARTLESS PEOPLE KIDS AND NOT PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO WOULD HAVE TREASURED THE GIFT?????

I couldn't even imagine leaving a dog in a hot car for 10 minutes YET ALONE YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD LOOKING UP AT YOU SO TRUSTING!!!

The two NEED to get the death penalty and then promptly CREAMATED WHILE STILL ALIVE.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

One just compared the A Thousands Ways to die to watching people killing themselves, executions. Really? Not even on the same planet.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I cannot wrap my mind around this.

That poor sweet baby. So trusting. So loving. He knew Daddy would always take care of him. And the person who should take care of him more than anyone else, walked away and left him.

What is wrong with people!? I understand the whole "innocent till proven guilty" concept, but things ain't looking so swell for these pathetic excuses that claim to be parents.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6220 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
heme
Member
Member # 40684
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I have a 20mo little girl, right now she is running around playing kitchen with her big brother and sisters.. This story makes me cry every time I read something new. How could ANYONE hurt a child like that? I would give anything, including my life, to protect my babies. I can't imagine people deliberately hurting their children but it happens so often..

I have to admit the latest information is just horrible in more ways than one. Self absorbed to the max.


BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I don't have insurance on my kids.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2669 | Registered: Jan 2010
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Re: Insurance

It is something QS and I have discussed. Just a small policy that would cover burial costs in the event of a tragedy. However we've never done it.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6220 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
southsidecali
Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

They are both sociopaths. No emotions during testimony of how horrific pain his child experiences but cries when they disclose the sexting.

He felt sorry- shame - and everything else was all about HIM..

I hope they fry him and her


Posts: 793 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
southsidecali
Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

They are both sociopaths. No emotions during testimony of how horrific pain his child experiences but cries when they disclose the sexting.

He felt sorry- shame - and everything else was all about HIM..

I hope they fry him and her


Posts: 793 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
latebloomer45
Member
Member # 18021
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I lived in Houston 9 yeas, this seemed to happen once a year, BY ACCIDENT, and I could never believe it. That people could forget their baby. This story actually made me lose my lunch.

As to life insurance, insurance companies DO push polices, but usually at $10K, the price of a pretty nice funeral here in the Midwest. It's a waste of money, put that money in a college fund...if your kid were to die before college you'd still have some money for the funeral. Also $25K seems high for Georgia...but even if it was or wasn't about money, or sex, or freedom, it is utterly despicable.

How many people would have so happily have raised that child if they wanted out?

Whoever said they need to die the same way, Amen. Hell on earth and then hell ever after.


Me: BS 52
Him: FWS 54
Married 28 years
Son-22 Daughter-19,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.


Posts: 2093 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Chicago suburbs
heme
Member
Member # 40684
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

We have small life insurance policies on our children, enough to cover burial expenses. I believe its 5000. I pray we NEVER ever have to worry about them. The thought of losing one of my children is something I don't want to entertain. My grandma lost my mom when my mom was in her late 30s and it tore her up so much, having children of my own I can't imagine the pain of losing one.


BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

We had life insuranceon my son when I was working. I was laid off before my daughter was born so we couldn't afford to get one for her or to keep his going. It was through Gerber so, of memory serves, we could also use the money for college. I think that's the plan we had.

I'm sorry I read this thread, but I wanted to comment on the insurance plan.

The last time I read a story about a child dying I hugged my two so tight they actually said "Mama, you're squeezing us." I just can't bring myself to read any more.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I have a small $5000 policy on each of my children. It only adds something like five dollars a quarter to my own premium to have that on all kids together. It's just term life as whole life is a waste for anyone in my opinion. I'd hate to think if I went through something as horrific as losing one of my kids that I also wouldn't be able to afford to bury them.

As far as this case though, it's horrific and they're discussing the death penalty for the sick excuse of a father. I hope they do cook him.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Re: life insurance - our insurance agent, who is also a friend, urged us to get a policy because the money can be used for college later on. He said he has one for his son, but his wife was very pissed the first time he mentioned it. After he talked to her about it she decided it was a good idea. We got one for her but I can't even remember the value of it.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6721 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them

I do. I always have through my employer. It's 10,000.00...enough to cover funeral expenses if necessary.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13744 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Zolotas
Member
Member # 15271
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

I know someone - a 24 yr old guy that left his 5 month old in the mini van - took out the other 6 kids and went in his apt and took a nap for 4 hrs..the baby baked in the mini van. He was given a four-year suspended jail sentence and 10 years supervised probation.

His wife was a member of the "pill kills" group against birth control - hence the 7 kids. Their apt was a filthy mess and authorities had been called to investigate prior to this tragedy at least 4 times. The cops investigating the death of this baby actually gagged inside the apt because of the filth.

There's something very wrong in our judicial system that this 24 yr old father is not in prison and the mother should also have faced charges for endangerment.

If anyone wants the link to this story...PM me. I don't want to post it here, but will share it privately.


Posts: 340 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: On my chair
latebloomer45
Member
Member # 18021
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Off topic....about life insurance..

In general, do not insure people if you don't need their income should they die. Rarely are children providing the income. Exception being a SAHM if you would need to hire others to take her place if she died. I dropped mine by half when the younger one turned 16 and got a license, will drop the rest when she graduates college. My husband will drop his when he retires. We have prepaid funeral arrangements.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/neal-frankle/4-life-insurance-policies_b_3544296.html


Me: BS 52
Him: FWS 54
Married 28 years
Son-22 Daughter-19,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.


Posts: 2093 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Chicago suburbs
Stillstings
Member
Member # 36549
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)

Deeply disturbing information. There was a CSI episode that was a little similar to this case.

I must say though. DH and I do not plan to have children and have had terrible things said as a result. We are wasting our fertility (We've never tried to get pregnant, so how do we know it was possible?) and it's an insult to infertile women. I'm not a real woman but an over educated bitch, he doesn't love me and must be gay, we waste our money, we should be removed from society since we do not contribute, we are selfish assholes. I am too dumb to make a decision to not have kids according to 3 doctors.

All things said to each of our faces not online. When I hear about cases like this the, "you're a terrible person for not having kids" crowd goes quiet.

Apparently this guy's mistresses were more important than his own child who died a terrible death and it makes me so sad. It makes me sick and sad to know somehow this guy and his wife get some sort of moral high ground for simply having a baby yet choose this crime.

Forgetting I can see. Researching car deaths? No, doesn't fly with me. He looked up animals dying in cars.

Buying insurance on a child? Good investment. God Forbid something bad happen, the expenses are covered. The couple in the story bought a ton which is way too much as funerals do not cost $25K. Sadly, when you take out a policy on someone regardless of age, the person does not need to be notified. Getting a small amount on a child is not morbid or selfish. It's thinking ahead which is the whole point of insurance.


Love yourself. You're worth it. Face your self. You need to do it.

Posts: 360 | Registered: Aug 2012
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:59 AM, July 4th (Friday)

The best article on what happened in court today is cnn: http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

The reporting by the atlanta paper is crap in comparison.

The points that stood out to me:
* taking some to day care was part of his daily routine; Most of the hot-car-baby-deaths occur because there is a change in routine
* taking child to chick fil a was also somewhat routine -- occured 2-3 times a month;
* work was less than a mile from chick fil a
* baby was in a rear facing seat even though he was 22 months; Today we found out that the parents had a front facing seat and used it for at least a few weeks before returning to the rear facing seat
* guy (won't call him "father" or "dad") was sexting at least 6 women while at work that day, including sending one a penis photo
* guy was also reading on a reddit site for something like "Living child free"; also googled "Surviving in in prison"; that occured in the weeks prior to the baby's death
* day care sent guy an email sometime during the day; the article did not say when or what the contents were
* when the girl (not "mother"...) went to pick up baby and baby was not there, she said "Guy must of left him in the car". She then called her mother to tell her and her mother asked why she was not crying or upset
* father got into hot car where baby had been dead an estimated 4 hours; When a person dies they expire everything in their bladder and bowel; Imagine the smelliest poopy diaper baking in a hot sun, and yet he drove a couple of miles to a populated strip mall before "discovering" the dead baby;
* the police put the guy and girl together in an interview room; the girl asked if the baby looked peaceful; the guy said yes and then said "I dreaded how he would look"; Note the past tense
* they talk a while and then the girl asked the guy "Did you say too much?"
* they had TWO life insurance policies on the baby -- one that was $2000 and another that was $25000; Note that Home Depot paid for the funeral as part of a well known employee charity; In my mind that is a third insurance policy

ETA: somehow hit post before I was ready...

[This message edited by Dreamboat at 1:16 AM, July 4th (Friday)]


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17621 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
trying_2_recover
Member
Member # 28778
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, July 4th (Friday)

Infidelity has made me such a cynic. As soon as this started looking suspicious I thought, I bet he was having an affair and wanted out of the marriage with no child support obligation.

I'm reserving judgement on the mother since I'm confused about how they'd know she'd done a search. It may have been done under her sign in but do you know how many times someone has used my computer under my name because I forgot to sign out?

ETA: OK I went to the link provided and watched tapes of the court hearing. You all are right, mom is not acting at all as I'd expect. Damn them both!

[This message edited by trying_2_recover at 1:38 AM, July 4th (Friday)]


Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Washington
Lark
Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, July 4th (Friday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

We do...it's a rider policy on my husband's work. In my family, there have been 4 babies who have died (all due to prematurity issues) and it's always haunted me the struggle of my cousins to have to stress about the financial side of paying for a funeral and headstone on top of mourning their baby. It was a nightmare. My one cousin was unable to put a headstone on her twins' grave for many years because they had to save up for it.

Our policy is very low tough, like $10k on each. Just enough to cover the funeral expenses and maybe one month off work to handle everything.

This story, though, breaks my heart. I read the Fatal Distraction piece and it has been one of those complete fears of mine that this would happen to my children. It makes me completely sick to think someone could have read about it, know the suffering involved in it, and done that to his son :(


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul." - William Ernest Henley

Posts: 509 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, July 4th (Friday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

No..I can't go there but I know some do for burial insurance..I.just don't want to. I guess being prepared makes me, in my weird over thinking mind, feel like it may be used one day.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5020 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 2:31 AM, July 4th (Friday)

WHY GOD??? WHY DID YOU GIVE THESE HEARTLESS PEOPLE KIDS AND NOT PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO WOULD HAVE TREASURED THE GIFT?????

I'm sorry, Guinness. This is what I meant. There are so many people in the world who would have loved and cherished that beautiful little boy.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Lowlow
Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, July 4th (Friday)

Guinness23. I'm with you. As someone who is infertile, I wonder about why things like this happen. I'm not saying I would be wonder mother, but I just cry when I think to myself why worthless shitheads like that get to even kids.

As this is an affair forum, it's hard for me to separate my WS's infidelity with my infertility. And then we hear about pieces of shit who fucking murder their innocent children. Life is not fair.


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 223 | Registered: Mar 2013
LeftOutintheCold
Member
Member # 42856
Default  Posted: 4:19 AM, July 4th (Friday)

This happened in a county next to me here in GA. I couldn't believe the events as they unfolded. Something didn't seem right from the beginning of the news reports and I'm still just flabbergasted as the information keeps coming. What can make anyone be so heartless? May that baby be forever wrapped in love now.


Me - 42
WH - 40
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together over 10
Status - still separated

Posts: 330 | Registered: Mar 2014
HurtButHoping12
Member
Member # 34918
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 4th (Friday)

This whole thing makes me sick, I can't imagine hurting a hair on any of my own children.

To answer a PP, we have a small life insurance policy on each of our kids, I believe it's $10k and it's meant to be used for final expenses (God, I had trouble even typing that out!!). We have 3 kids and It's really cheap, like $.35 per pay check, per kid.


BW (me):30
WH (guiltfilled11): 31
together 11 years, married 5 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 7, DS 4, DD 3

On the fence... do I stay or do


Posts: 183 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: NY
Guinness23
Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 4th (Friday)

I'm sorry, Guinness.

Thank you, SilverHopes

LowLow - my infertility was a DIRECT reason my exh claimed he cheated, so yes I am with you there. Life is NOT fair. Life sucks but we can never know the reasoning for all of this as we are just human. Look at the poster who lost her baby probably to SIDS this week. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Raspberry
Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, July 4th (Friday)

I hope they get punished to the max. The thought of it makes me sick.

Regarding insurance policies, we never had insurance on either one of us or our kids but my new job offered them for such a low price, we did it for us and the kids. I hope I waste the money because the thought of losing either one of my boys makes me absolutely sick.


Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
918Mama
Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, July 4th (Friday)

This story has been equal parts obsessed and horrified - ok, more horrified. I can't stop reading about it. I want to scream and cry and tear my clothes. It's so many levels of fucking awful, I just can't comprehend it.

But I will be honest...there's a part of the story that's hit a real cord with me. My husband picked up on it last night and called me out on what I was feeling.

I just thought...man...he could have been distracted enough in the shit he was doing to hurt our kid. He was self absorbed and sociopathic like enough in the midst of his craziness that he could have unintentionally done something like this.

And he was quick to say "yes, God spared us from so much." Which I agree. And am so thankful for. But also angry.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 554 | Registered: Dec 2012
HormonalWoman
Member
Member # 29265
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 4th (Friday)

Horrible horrible story. The Mum must have been in on it. I wouldn't assume my child had been left in a car if he wasn't at nursery. Why did she ring her mum and not her husband to see where the baby was? Why would she ask her husband if he'd said too much?

Why has she not been arrested too though?


Together 13 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
3 Children
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.

Posts: 244 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 4th (Friday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

I could never have a policy on my kids. Many people do in case of emergency/funeral expenses. I could never bring myself to plan for that...too frightening of a place to go to for me.

This story shows us true evil.

Heartbreaking.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, July 4th (Friday)

I have no words.... SMFH


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5890 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
watersofavalon
Member
Member # 37984
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, July 4th (Friday)

RIP little man xx


Me - BW 49
H - 52
T 31 years
M 21 years

3 children from 11 to 17.

EA with coworker for 6m maybe longer. She was 25!!
Dday 26/6/2012.

Reconciling. Hard work isn't it?

Getting there!


Posts: 84 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: UK
Want2help
Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them….defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

No. We do not. I do not intend to outlive my daughter, and in the event that I somehow do outlive my sweet DD, it will not be long enough to spend any money.

[This message edited by Want2help at 1:10 PM, July 5th (Saturday)]


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
7 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Alonelyagain
Member
Member # 32820
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

We do not have insurance on our kids. Just before our first child was born, I had a very interesting conversation with my insurance broker. He did not raise the prospect of insuring my soon to be born child, but rather suggested a $500k or $1M policy on my W who was going to be a stay at home mom. The broker's stated reasoning was that if W died, I could use the money to pay for nanny until my child started school. The broker also explained that initially the amount of the policy on me should allow my wife and children to stay in our house and my children to go to college in the event that I die before my kids finish college, and that as I pay off the mortgage and kids graduate college, I could reduce the amount of coverage on my life.

Posts: 108 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New Jersey
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

Evil. The entire story is evil.

The three, in essence, life insurance policies seem excessive. When I first heard $25,000, I thought about inflation and it didn't seem out-of-line (actually made me think that we should change ours). We first got our life insurance years and years and years ago. Only my WH is covered, but we have a $10,000 rider (for burial expenses) on each child and a $25,000 rider on me. If I died, my WH would not have become rich, but he wouldn't be devastated by daycare expenses/worries, either.

Trying to find money for my dad's funeral was horrible. My sister and her husband were unemployed, my brother was a single guy who made just enough to pay for his hobbies, my WH and I were in the middle of a PhD program (w/4 kids), and my mother was a greeter at a discount chain. Our church, thankfully, ended up paying for the expenses.

So, yes, despite not expecting my children to die before I do, I'd never NOT have insurance for them, hoping, somehow, that that would keep the grim reaper away. As I've learned through experience, that just makes a tragic situation even more nightmarish.


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 454 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

Yes I do.
I've always had jobs that offered life insurance as part of the benefits package. I usually get $X00k for myself, $Y00k for hubby, and $10-20k for each child.
The $10-20k is to cover funeral costs in the event the unthinkable happens.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

This couple should be locked in a car and parked in the dessert.

Guiness, I am sorry for your hurt.

I always think of those of us who are foster / adoptive parents. There are so many options for the fools out there who harm their children and then morons go and do this. I just do not get it. Why couldn't they walk into any adoption agency and start the process? I don't get the evil.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 453 | Registered: Jan 2013
circe
Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

The story is so sick and getting even sicker. I can't stand the thought of these people having been entrusted with an innocent child. The sexting and penis pictures while his son was in the car - horrible, so disgusting and evil.

As far as insurance, both DH and I have life insurance through work and also through private companies. Each of our work life insurance came with optional child policies, I think it was DH's policy that we chose to include them on - not more than $10K per child, if that. When the private insurance company asked if we'd like to include our children we both said NO immediately, knowing the work insurance would suffice and not wanting to court fate by checking the box for our children on the private/voluntary policies we were getting for ourselves.


Posts: 3190 | Registered: Mar 2005
Kuwaited
Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, July 5th (Saturday)

This happened about 4 miles south of where I work (about 12 south of where I live). So not surprisingly this has been in the news here a few days longer than nationwide.

The county police were VERY quick to file rather significant charges. I have to confess that I was one of many wondering "why". What could they possibly know so quickly to file such charges? The local constabulary took quite bit of heat for it. But as information started coming out....it appears they (the police) were very much on top of it.

Innocent until proven and all that......what I can't wrap my head around is of all the possible ways of reaching the ultimate conclusion how could this have risen to the top?? I mean as fucked up as this guy appears to be --- the thought of his son dying this way didn't rattle him one little bit?

Edited to fix a telling typo.....

[This message edited by Kuwaited at 9:14 AM, July 6th (Sunday)]


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8487 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
careerlady
Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, July 6th (Sunday)

I came on here tonight because this story has been haunting me. DS is a month older than this baby was. My NPD ex had affairs with 5+ women at a time and he's selfish. He hated to watch DS all day when I was working. I can't help but think that he might actually have done something this horrible. Terrible thought but true. The fact that him taking him to daycare was routine and a mile from the restaurant, coupled with the "overpowering smell" he got in the car and drive with and the internet searches seals it for me. He needs the death penalty. By burning.

As for the wife, she should be investigated. I will admit there was a time in our marriage where I had my head so far up my ass I had no idea what was going on. Maybe she wasn't in on it? My understanding is she told the police both if them had searched for info on hot car deaths so maybe she was just trying to cover for him. But I'm skeeved if she really called her mom before her husband...

All I know is this case devastates me. I was putting reusable bags and a child cover on the grocery cart while DS was still in his car seat. Even though he has autism DS still made a little protesting sound like "don't forget me!". And I could never! I can't stop thinking of that sweet baby (who they said was talking) yelling "daddy" as that evil man walked away. Then crying from being hot, then thirsty, then desperate, then passing into a merciful coma. Poor, poor baby!!!! I can't stop seeing DS in his place!

I agree that he, and his wife if in on it, should be burned alive.

Police: Father was 'sexting' as son was dying
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/index.html


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 937 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
outtanowhere
Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, July 6th (Sunday)

WH's brother was an insurance agent so we bought policies with each new addition. Most parents pray they would never have to face that situation but, I can tell you that it was one of the best decisions WH ever made. Our first child developed a very aggressive brain tumor at age six and died within 6 months.

Horrendous for sure but, we still have the policies on the other 3 just in case, God forbid, the unthinkable happens again.

[This message edited by outtanowhere at 7:03 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 723 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 57