User Topic: Tomorrow 1st court ordered mediation ...
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

Well friends, I'm taking another step toward the finish line. Tomorrow is my first court ordered mediation with my attorney and mediator. Next week the mediator will meet with stbx and his attorney. Then the following week, we will all meet together and attempt to settle. I know, I know ~ Why do I have to bring my attorney? I would rather not since basically I'm paying to sit with these two guys which will cost a total of $500/hour. But that's how the mediator does it and that's who's rules we follow.

I had to release some claims to money owed because I do not have the "proper" documentation that supports my claims. It hurts but it's reality.

He would like to cut off support for DD18 who is on the autism spectrum and has multiple psychiatric issues. Her mental health does not allow her to pursue school or work at this time. I do have enough documentation to ask the mediator/court to deviate from the normal child support guidelines. I also have research that explains the high costs of raising a child on the spectrum. I will fight for continued support at least for 2 more years at which time, I will be in a better position to financially support her on my own.

He still hasn't paid his half of: children's uncovered medical bills, children's cellphone bill, and tuition for both children.

I hope that the mediator will be able to persuade stbx to settle. But I know that the probability is low as I am dealing with someone who is only thinking of himself and has constantly lied throughout this entire divorce. I hope the mediator will convince him to put our children's best interest FIRST.

Lastly, I will be asking him to rescind his false police report stating that I stole his fire extinguisher. I need to have that report CLOSED before I start applying for internships next semester. I know it's a long shot, but I'm still going to try.

If you could please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow (Thursday), I would really really appreciate it. I will update this post tomorrow afternoon. Love you all!

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2298 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

Hope it all goes well for you tomorrow.

You'll be in my thoughts ((hugs))

BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

Good luck.

If I were you, ask for the support for DD for more than 2, so you can back down and get AT LEAST 2....if your plan is you are done school in 2, give yourself another year to get your legs under you in a job.

Also, I'm pretty sure with a child with a disability you can also request that after that point, he give some amount to her directly for years to come to help her, especially if she may never be able to work/make a steady income.

Good luck again!

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5577 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

Mojo and patience and wishes that he wakes up reasonable even if it is only temporary.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow!!

Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5906 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

Sending you good mediation mojo.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1950 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)

I have (in a non-creepy and non-stalkery way) followed your story from the beginning and am so happy that you are nearing the finish line.

All of my most positive thoughts are heading your way. You've got this! Feel strong; wear favorite clothes tomorrow. Remember that you are a wonderful person and keep positive thoughts.

I await your happy update!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3464 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:35 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Good luck tomorrow dmari. I hope everything works out in your favor!

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2498 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:19 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Thank you for the luck, mojo and wishes! I will be tucking it into my pocket and taking it with me!

devistatedmom: Good advice! Thank you!

phmh: Love you girl! Thank you for your kind words and support!

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2298 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 5:33 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Good luck today!

Posts: 308 | Registered: Sep 2005
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

You have a great plan outlined going in, you sound prepared and that will help greatly through the process.

Good luck today!

D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
17yrs married, 23yrs together
Two kids 13, 11
Divorced 10/2014

Posts: 201 | Registered: Apr 2014
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Good luck dmari! Sending you best wishes and strength!

ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are

Posts: 187 | Registered: Apr 2014
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Hope all is going well today, dmari! (((((hugs)))))

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 26149 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, July 10th (Thursday)

Sending mojo.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52977 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 13