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User Topic: We are all so Specific on our d-day dates.
lostcovenants
Member
Member # 40637
Frustrated  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

Notice how most of us can list the exact date of our D-day? I guess we can add this to the list of dates/places that are forever burned into our memories ... Kennedy's assignation, Armstrong's first step on the moon, the attack on the World Trade Center/pentagon/ and wherever those poor brave souls on the Pennsylvania flight were headed..... And God help us all - our D-day(s). I can't remember my zip code half the time - but July 8th 2013 will forever be burned into my brain.


BS 60; fWH 59; 2 children, 1 grandchild; Married 37+ years, he is my only; D-day 7/8/13; MOW, PA 2009-?. Broke it off about a week before I found out. Sexting on cheating forums 14 YEARS. Idiot me. STATUS UPDATE - SEPARATED :-(

Posts: 167 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
hopeful325
New Member
Member # 43521
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

Mine was my best friends birthday, I hate that her special day will always be tarnished in my mind :(

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2014
mhca
Member
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

D-day #1 Christmas Eve
D-day #2: DS birthday

Won't ever forget.


Me: BH 47 STBXWW 47 (Lklb5)
M 19 years, DS 15, DS 11
DD#1: 12/24/2013
TT/Broke NC/False R
DD#2: 4/15/2014
TT 4/23, 4/24, 5/31, 7/19
Divorcing

Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961


Posts: 788 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

You never forget the days that the world as you knew it ended.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1866 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
OakStreet
Member
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

I have so many antiversary dates coming up:

When they first connected.
when I first suspected.
My actual anniversary (which I won't be celebrating this year).
And then Dday.

Yippee!


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14 - took it underground for 5 months.
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 500 | Registered: Nov 2013
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

True... But the farther out I have gotten, the less this date means to me anymore. Of course, I divorced the Doosh so I am sure that has something to do with my feelings.

My divorce date is a date of celebration for me now. It's 2 days before my dday (on the calendar) so it took the sting out of dday for me.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

June 12th, 2008. The day my world crashed and burned.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

Like PurpleRose, I hope and think these become less burned into our brains with time. It is amazing how the dates stick with everyone. But I firmly believe the impact fades!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Uhtred
Member
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, July 17th (Thursday)

I don't remember much but my god I remember that day like the back of my hand. I've never felt worse even after having several close people die. A death is something that is natural I guess and easier to deal with.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 616 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Bobbi_sue
Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 1:03 AM, July 18th (Friday)

Actually, I don't remember any of the exact dates of D-days in my first M (there were 4 of them). It is my opinion, that at least for me, the main reason I remember the two D-days from my current M is because of this forum, realizing we have a term called "D-day" and there is the word antiversary, to commemorate the date in future years.

In the first M, the first D-day was about three years into the M, when our D was about one. I can't pin point it any further than that. I don't even know if it was summer or winter. The second D-day was in November of 1988. I only remember it was slightly before Thanksgiving and I was 7 months preg. with our 3rd child. I remember crying on Thanksgiving, and being thankful for nothing...

The 3rd D-day can be narrowed down to either right before the new year of 1989 began (that same OW from a couple of months earlier). If I wanted to do a little homework I could definitely figure out the exact date of the fourth D-day as I do remember that it was on a Sunday, Father's Day, 1992. I remember trying to make the day normal for the kids. We went to McDonalds with him to "celebrate" Father's day. I didn't confront him until after they went to bed that night. I filed for a D two days later.


Posts: 5760 | Registered: Apr 2006
Lark
Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, July 18th (Friday)

June 6, 2014, 12:30ish a.m. is when I opened the phone log. 2:17 a.m. is when I called and told him to come home. 4ish a.m. is when I found out it had been sexual and not just sexting. 11:30ish a.m. is when I found out about OW1 and that it went back a year.


“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

Posts: 740 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
determinata
Member
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 2:19 AM, July 18th (Friday)

It's been 7 years and the exact dates have faded for me. There's so much other b.s. to remember and be traumatized by.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
BrokenButTrying
Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 3:25 AM, July 18th (Friday)

I don't remember my first Dday. Like Bobbi_Sue said, I didn't have SI, I didn't discuss it with anyone, I didn't have it written down, least of all in a signature on a forum I read everyday.
I remember the day, I remember what happened but not the date.

I know it was either some time in late 2009 or early 2010 but beyond that, I honestly couldn't tell you. I have 01/10 because it was around that time, January 2010, but I didn't want to run out of characters in my sig!

My 2nd Dday, I remember because it happened after I found SI and I put in my signature so I see it every day.

[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:27 AM, July 18th (Friday)]


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
stunnedmullet
Member
Member # 42975
Default  Posted: 3:43 AM, July 18th (Friday)

I will never forget the day that my world as I knew it crumbled and my heart broke into a million pieces


DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 40
WH 38
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids

I always thought I was enough but obviously not!


Posts: 214 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Flatlined123
Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 4:20 AM, July 18th (Friday)

July 11, 2008 at 1:29 pm

A date that will be forever burned in my brain. The day my life as I knew it fell apart.

It just passed and didn't crush me, but I'll never forget that day.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
Ailanthus
New Member
Member # 42911
Default  Posted: 5:06 AM, July 18th (Friday)

October 21, 2012.
You know, on the one year anniversary, I was prepared to feel devastated all over again. And I wasn't. Our divorce had been finalized the previous month, it was a beautiful day, I wore a pretty dress to work…it didn't destroy me again. Still, I doubt I will ever forget the date.

Posts: 27 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Appalachia
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, July 18th (Friday)

August 10, 2010...11:54am.

I had just glanced at the clock as I sat down at the computer..and found his secret email account logged in.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7697 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TheBestMe
Member
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, July 18th (Friday)

I do not remember when my gut told me that my H was having an A. During the LTA each day of the A was a continuing D-day.

Oh, but the day the shit hit the fan! I remember every single detail. My therapist said that contact from it made the A real.

Coincidently, it was the same day that my H and I began his cancer journey. This day, was the day that I had to face the fact that my life as I had hoped, was no more.

Damn....


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 23 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive


Posts: 451 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, July 18th (Friday)

For me it was New Year's Eve, so kind of hard to forget. It isn't a trigger or anything, not anymore. I do sometimes measure time in how long since the divorce, or how long before D-day, i.e. moved to XXX 3 years before D-day, crap like that. I need to stop that.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
TheIrishGirl
Member
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, July 18th (Friday)

Yup. My world has crashed twice in the same week- four years apart. 4.16.10 I lost my first pregnancy. 4.18.14 I lost my husband... Well, found out I'd lost him, he's been gone a while.


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 587 | Registered: May 2014
Brokenworld
Member
Member # 15293
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, July 18th (Friday)

I have two dates that will never be forgotten.
How can you ever forget the dates that altered your life?

July 23, 2003 - I discovered a receipt for jewelry - never meant or given to me.
August 20, 2004 - 13 months later when I confronted him.


Me: BS
Him: FWH LTA 10+ years
Married:32 years; Together 34
In R I pray
1 Daughter; 1 Son
D-Day 7/2003
Confrontation 8/2004
Relapse 8/2006
Reconciliation...2008

Posts: 144 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: SE US
FeelingMN
Member
Member # 32240
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, July 18th (Friday)

One thing that my first worthless MC said that sort of made sense was to try and think of the calendar as more linear as cyclic. That kind of worked for me. That meant that I only allowed dday to have one day of my life. It's a nice theory anyway.


Me 41
fWW 37
DD(19), DS(17), DD(11) (Mine, hers, ours)
Together 14y, Married 12
DDay Aug 2010, 4 mos TT & gaslighting
ONS + EA after 15yr Class reunion out of state

Posts: 267 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Minnesota
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 18th (Friday)

July 26 was not my D-Day (that came about two weeks later) but it was:

-The birthday of my dog, who died two days after I found out I was pregnant for the first time
-The due date of that pregnancy, which I lost
-The day my husband got head from a paid escort

I do not like July 26. For me it's worse than D-Day.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6810 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
SadFlower
Member
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, July 18th (Friday)

August 14, 2012: I confronted him and bludgeoned him into a confession. I was not surprised at his confession, but what did surprise me was learning that the A had been going on since 2003, just before we moved from OW's city.

July 19, 2003: WH f*cks OW for the first time. Our marriage is thereby dissolved, spiritually if not legally.

I know the above date from some photos taken that day. I doubt if FWH is even remotely conscious that tomorrow will be the 11th anniversary of his decision to betray me. It will not be an easy day for me.


Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA


Posts: 408 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, July 18th (Friday)

The d-day that I list in my profile is actually the night I confronted. I actually went through months of discovery leading up to that date.

However, I had the wrong date in my profile for two years

7 years out and it's not a big deal anymore. You will get there


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
hopefull77
Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, July 18th (Friday)

I consider dday the day we got our marriage back....we plan on going away every year to our favorite spot....


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 09-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 628 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Razor
Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 18th (Friday)

Conversely how many here have WS that DO NOT remember the date of Dday?

Mine has seems to have no idea.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
million tears
Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, July 18th (Friday)

Jan. 26th, 2009. The day passes now without me remembering but ask me and I can tell you.

WH, on the other hand, has no clue.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, July 18th (Friday)

April 20, 2007.

yeah, there were some 4/20 jokes between them that I read that night.

But I don't remember my second dday. It's either August 3 or 4. Don't know, don't care.

I don't think I'll ever forget the April date, but it holds much less power over me. It was acknowledge by us this year, but we spent about 5 minutes on it and went about our day.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, July 18th (Friday)

Conversely how many here have WS that DO NOT remember the date of Dday?

I doubt he remembers the YEAR.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6810 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, July 18th (Friday)

2/19/09 - the day I surprised him by moving out. I thought the previous few years were due to family stress, how silly of me!

March 09 - I do not remember the exact date I found out about bitchface. Just know I did it all wrong - confronted him in MC THAT day. wrong, wrong, wrong (newbies...learn from my mistakes!)

He is, and has always been, terrible with dates. So he does not remember much, but what he DOES know is this....I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to events and dates!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I can tell you the exact date AND time. It is like a demarcation in time -- there is Before and then there is After.

However the antiversary of the date 9 years past no longer affects me. I don't acknowledge it and recently it has come and gone before I notice.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17689 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Deanna
Member
Member # 26854
Cool  Posted: 3:31 PM, July 18th (Friday)

Wow, I just went to write my d-date and I am not sure of the date? November 9th I think.
The days events are burned into my head however the date now has little significance.
Our life changed forever but believe it or not almost all for the better. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but if you survive it you can go on to have a wonderful new life together.

[This message edited by Deanna at 3:33 PM, July 18th (Friday)]


DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
lostcovenants
Member
Member # 40637
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, July 18th (Friday)

Thanks for all the replies everyone - FYI my DDay is my H birthday - he can celebrate that by himself. I'm not buying him something nice for his birthday. Last year (right before DDay) I bought him a damn boat. Am I naive or what? Soon after DDay I went with him while he fished - I waited on the shore reading. He took that opportunity to text a biker chick he met in a bar that he was fishing "alone " and wished she was there. What an assh*ld. The sh*t he did to me after DDay is especially painful as he did it AFTER witnessing my AGONY. A year out and still wondering if this is worth it.


BS 60; fWH 59; 2 children, 1 grandchild; Married 37+ years, he is my only; D-day 7/8/13; MOW, PA 2009-?. Broke it off about a week before I found out. Sexting on cheating forums 14 YEARS. Idiot me. STATUS UPDATE - SEPARATED :-(

Posts: 167 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, July 18th (Friday)

July 29, 2012... She woke me up at 9:15ish AM to tell me that the reason she had been acting strange the past few days was that she had met someone new at work a week and a half prior, had spent the night at his house when I was out of town for work the week prior to Dday and she was pretty sure he was her soul mate so she was leaving. I hadn't even had my coffee yet. Hell of a way to start a Sunday.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
struggling16
Member
Member # 33202
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I'm one of those who never paid attention to dates prior to Dday. My DDay is Dec. 27, 2010, late in the evening. I caught him texting the AP minutes after we had had sex. It was a memorable holiday gift.

After that searing experience, I reconstructed my life with a calendar, receipts, phone records, etc. Every date is burned in my brain. The memories of what we were doing and how he acted and my constant confusion are still crystal clear. The dates mean absolutely nothing to him; he's oblivious.

As the years since Dday have passed, the dates have less power but they're still noted. It's all so very sad.

[This message edited by struggling16 at 8:19 PM, July 18th (Friday)]


Posts: 723 | Registered: Aug 2011
beingmiranda
Member
Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I remember the dates very clearly. However 5 years later they come and go without much thought. It becomes less significant. You'll see.


Me: now 38
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 796 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
HeBrokeVows
Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, July 18th (Friday)

yes but do you notice that they never remember when they last talked to OW? I have a theory on this. In AA they say if you can't remember when your last drink was that means you haven't had your last drink yet. I told my husband that if you can't remember when you ended it with OW then it hasn't ended. Sure enough he admitted a few weeks later it didn't end when he said it did. I said well when did it. "a few weeks after". Yep, still hadn't ended.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 472 | Registered: Apr 2014
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I dont remember specific dates with XWH because 1) there were so many that it all blended together after a while and 2) he and I havent been together in a long time, so it no longer matters to me.

With current WH, since it just happened last weekend and I was completely blindsided, I wont likely forget for a long time.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
imarriedmymother
Member
Member # 34360
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, July 18th (Friday)

Cant remember the day i got a hole in one, cant remember the day i bowled a 300 game, cant remember the day my dad died but 9/9/11, my wife told me she had a boyfriend, fucked him, and fucked some stranger............guess its just a day you don't forget.


M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed

24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.


Posts: 81 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: upper u.s.
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I don't remember the exact date but I do know it was summer 2000 (the first D-day; there were a few over the years). But I absolutely remember us being in the kitchen, him sitting at the table, me standing over him, and him telling me he refused to stop seeing OW1, even though I asked him to.

The dates have faded in my mind - I can point to the year and approximate month but nothing closer than that.

Even so... I will never forget how each one made me feel.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
FoggedIn
Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, July 18th (Friday)

I find myself feeling crappy, really down or short and bitchy and then happen to see the calendar and it's one of the 3 consecutive Dday's. It's like my subconscious knows before I do.

It's 11 months out, so I guess that's early, especially considering WH still isn't willing to actually deal with the A details or healing. He's trying to be a model H in many other ways he hasn't been for our almost 13 years of M. But the core of the A's, is off limits in his wheel house.

3 Ddays (right now I trigger every month)
8/8/13 - slept with prosititue
8/9/13 - I found her hair and makeup smeared all over the hotel sheets, he denied
8/10/13 - Continued denial to my face while still in hotel, I forced him to open his yahoo account, he had deleted messages in his inbox and his deleted folder, but forgot about the sent items folder, I found the hooker communication and arrangement making emails.

I'm not looking forward to those 3 days next month. WH doesn't even know they exist on the calendar.


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
Neverwudaguessed
Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, July 18th (Friday)

9/9/13; our 18th wedding anniversary. Found out that he had just ended a 7 week affair with old girlfriend who had been a friend of mine for about four years as a teenager.

10/25/13; found out that the affair in the summer was the 2nd affair. He confessed to having had a short affair with the same OW 13 years earlier, when my son was about 5 months old.

They are two dates that I will never forget. In fact, in light of the secret affair 5 years into our marriage, 13 years ago, I feel like I will NEVER be able to "celebrate" our wedding anniversary even if I my dday was not on the actual date. Truly does suck, as does affair season which took place during my favorite time of year; summer.


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 650 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
Ellejay
Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, July 18th (Friday)

For me it feels like my ex died on that day and someone knocked on my door to say "Hey, surprise, surprise! You're H's is dead and by the way he had absolutely no respect for you whatsoever for the entire 25 years of your marriage" WHAM!

For the first two years the 20th November seemed like the anniversary of a death but funnily enough last year the date went past without me noticing. This year I intend to do something wonderful on that day to create a new significance to the date. Why should these days be forever tainted thanks to our stupid WS's? Why give them the power?


EJ

[This message edited by Ellejay at 6:31 PM, July 18th (Friday)]


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
inthedark14
Member
Member # 41924
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

Gemini71 said it, you never forget the day your world came crashing down on you and around you everything you thought to b safe you found out wasn't that day


WH: 39/BW:Me,32
Married 14 years in March, 2 Beautiful children 8 & 12
D-Day: Xmas Eve 2013-worst day of my life

"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"


Posts: 102 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: santa rosa ca
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

We will be seven years out from my dday in August. ....but I forgot the date ....

I have to go back to a calendar for 2007 to figure it out, but I can't be bothered.

It used to be a day I held my breath through. ..... now it's a time I/we just breeze by. Holding onto it has no meaning anymore.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3846 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
BrokenheartedUK
Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

The date is burned into my psyche forever. Also my children reference it because they all found out at the same time. It was 3 days after our 18th wedding anniversary and he had given me a card which says we are peas in a pod... And then wrote that I guess I didn't figure on a snoring pea.

Wrong! I didn't figure on a cheating pea!


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"You didn't see me I was falling apart, I was a television version of a person with a broken heart." The National

Posts: 236 | Registered: May 2014
Red&Gray
Member
Member # 32417
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

So many dates from 2010 are triggers for me.

My gut knew months before my mind that something was terribly, dreadfully wrong. The big date was 9-4-2010. That was Dday, though I did not know it at the time. Then 9-24-2010, when H filed for divorce and left the country. I came home that day to find everything of his gone. Every time I walk into our closet I remember how it felt to encounter his side of it completely empty. Then 11-7-2010. That is when OW called to "introduce" herself to me in an attempt to get me to reject WH, who had just left her.

At least two-thirds of me died in 2010.


Me: BS 42
Him: FWH 42 (1 EA; 1 ONS; 1 EA>PA w/ OW in another country)
- M 16 years (12 at time of A)
- Two children post-A

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: red&gray
Kuwaited
Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

October 31. Halloween. How could I ever fucking forget that???


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8488 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
Topic Posts: 49