SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Off Topic
User Topic: Dad has passed
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 21st (Monday)

My father passed away late last night. Although we knew he didn't have much time left, the end came very quickly. The hospice and nursing home staff were amazing, caring very tenderly for Dad and supporting and comforting our family as well, just as they did when we lost Mom last November.

It was a privilege to be with him at the end, holding his hands and comforting him as he took his last breaths. Three of my siblings were there as well, and the other five siblings who weren't able to make it back in time were each able to speak their final words to him over the phone. I believe he heard every one of us, even though he was unable to respond.

Dad always said that the best decision he ever made in his life to was ask Mom to marry him, the greatest fortune in his life was that she said yes, and his biggest joy was the family they built together - 9 children, 20 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren.

There is deep sadness today, but also peace in knowing he is at rest, and tremendous gratitude for his life and his love.


...And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

Maya Angelou - When Great Trees Fall


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25287 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, July 21st (Monday)

Love you NIK. We're all here with you.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17284 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
betrayedfriend
Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, July 21st (Monday)

Nik, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved father, he has left a tremendous legacy for you in his love for his family.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 867 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((( NIK )))
I'm so sorry for your loss.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6440 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 21st (Monday)

My deep condolences NIK.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3917 | Registered: Dec 2011
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK))))

My heart is heavy for all the sadness you've been dealing with in recent months.

I'm so very sorry for your loss


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197715 | Registered: May 2002
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm very sorry for your loss hun


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13748 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))

Sorry for your loss.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52125 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((Nik & family)))

I'm so sorry. Sending love and hugs.


Posts: 35123 | Registered: Mar 2011
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((((NIK and Family))))

I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your siblings really helped him have a peaceful passing.

Many hugs to you.


Posts: 7017 | Registered: Dec 2010
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((((NIK)))))

I am so sorry. It sounds like an end that is a testament to his life. The poem is perfect.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4147 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
brokeninfl
Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am so sorry for your loss. (((NIK)))


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
Lalagirl
Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((((NIK)))))

I am so very sorry.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
DixieD
Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so sorry NIK. My deepest condolences. Hugs for you and all your family during your time of loss and grief.


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))
What a legacy he leaves in you.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6583 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
AmSoDone
Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((Nik)))

So sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man, he's at peace now.


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((((((((((((Nik)))))))))))))

We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:56 PM, July 21st (Monday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44672 | Registered: Sep 2006
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((((NIK)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5895 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((((NIK))))) It was his good fortune to have most of you there, and I'm sure very comforting.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21096 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
deeplysad
Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

(((NIK)))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3231 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
tired girl
Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))

Beautiful poem. So sorry for the loss of your father. May you have peace in the days to come.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4853 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((nik))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
abbycadabby
Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK and family)))

Posts: 1248 | Registered: Feb 2010
yearsofpain25
Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK))) I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2054 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2013
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 21st (Monday)

My deepest condolences, NIK.

What a great legacy your parents have built.

(((((NIK & family)))))


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 21st (Monday)


..

((((((nik)))))))

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4123 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 21st (Monday)

Im so, so very sorry for your loss.

((((((((((((NIK))))))))))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7398 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, July 21st (Monday)

They'll always be with you. (((NIK)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17389 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((HUGS)))

My condolences to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Alyssamd24
Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 21st (Monday)

So sorry to hear of your loss.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 835 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
LoveActually
Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so so very sorry. What a beautiful poem it made me cry.


BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jan 2011
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((((((NIK)))))))

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5063 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Pinkyxo
New Member
Member # 43095
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK))) I'm so sorry. May he rest in peace. He's with your Mom now and no longer suffering.

Hugs & prayers


One foot in front of the other

Posts: 30 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Lost & Isolated
woundedby2
Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so sorry, NIK. You've been through so much recently. Be good to yourself.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7813 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so sorry.

(((())))


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3012 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK)))

I'm very sorry for your loss.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24504 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm very sorry for your loss.

This is one of the most beautiful, loving tributes I have ever read: (made me cry even before reading the poem.)

Dad always said that the best decision he ever made in his life to was ask Mom to marry him, the greatest fortune in his life was that she said yes, and his biggest joy was the family they built together - 9 children, 20 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren.

What a wonderful legacy they have left you. ((((NIK and family))))


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2328 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
InnerLight
Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm sorry for your loss. Your. Dad sound like a great man with a big heart.

The poem is beautiful.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5813 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((NIK))))
wishing you peace and warm happy memories to wrap you and your family.
Sending you strength during this time.

((((And strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8450 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, July 21st (Monday)

Oh Nik,

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I've also lost both of my parents, and it is truly heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2464 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am so sorry for your loss. Healing thoughts to you and your family.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2110 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, July 21st (Monday)

Dad always said that the best decision he ever made in his life to was ask Mom to marry him, the greatest fortune in his life was that she said yes, and his biggest joy was the family they built together - 9 children, 20 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren.

Condolences on the passing of your father. As sad as it is, you should be so tremendously proud of a man who accomplished all this. This is an accomplishment beyond words and not many today achieve it anymore.

Hugs and prayers to you and your family.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

my deepest condolences.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2811 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad for your good fortune in having such a wonderful man as your father.

Sending you peace and strength.

((((NIK))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Lostly
Member
Member # 43953
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am so sorry. He sounds like an amazing man who lived a good life. My thought and prayers are with you.


BW 48 - Multiple d-days
Divorced 2012 after 19 yrs
6 smart, beautiful, amazing kids Dd 19; Ds 17; Dd 15; Ds 13; Ds 11; Dd 10

Sometimes I hear my voice, and it's been here, silent all these years. I've been here, silent all these years.


Posts: 93 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, July 21st (Monday)

God bless, Honey. ((((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((((nik)))) so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing okay.

Posts: 1148 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
fireproof
Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, July 21st (Monday)

I am sorry for your loss. Extremely beautiful words and a reminder of what is truly important.

Posts: 967 | Registered: Jul 2012
TrustedHer
Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 21st (Monday)

No matter how timely, or anticipated, it's still a great loss.

((nik))


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5153 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, July 21st (Monday)

(((nik))) wish it could be some irl hugs, sweetie. so very sorry for your loss.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12146 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, July 21st (Monday)

((((nik))))

My deepest condolences.

What a beautiful post. It is very clear that he was a special man and you have a special family.

Many many hugs and much cyber support.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 1:34 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

You gave each other a great gift. Now you're both free to soar with the eagles. (((((NIK and family)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20149 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 2:00 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

The way you speak of both your parents makes it so easy to see why you are such a kind and loving person.

(((Hugs))) to you and your siblings , family and friends.

What a story your parents left. .. truly beautiful.

I am sorry for your loss NIK


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:08 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

((NIK))

My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1088 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Amazonia
Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((NIK)))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13733 | Registered: Jul 2011
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

My condolences and hugs for your bereavement, NIK.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7209 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

So sorry for your loss (((NIK)))

Posts: 3383 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((NIK))) I'm sorry.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8677 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

I'm so very sorry for your loss, NIK.

You and your family are in my prayers.


Posts: 3377 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
scaredyKat
Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

Will it is so hard to lose a loved one, I hope you find that the joyful memories quickly overake the sad ones.
Holding you in the *****LIGHT****


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3527 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

Oh NIK, I'm so sorry.

Sending you love and prayers.

((((NIK))))


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6223 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Faithful w/Love
Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry Nik. I pray for you and family.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2661 | Registered: Aug 2011
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((((Empress and family)))))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15392 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

I'm sorry, NIK. I wish this wasn't your reality, so close on the heels of your mom. I am sure you are hurting very much. Reach out to whomever, whenever, you need. Many blessings to you.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6435 | Registered: Jan 2011
LeftBehind08
Member
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

with huge hugs and my sympathy for your loss

Please take care of yourself and your family. I am very sorry...


Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 78 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

((((NIK))))

I lost my father 7 years ago...it is a very painful thing. My thoughts are with you.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
StillStanding1
Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

My condolences to you and your family. What a beautiful legacy he left though. Your post brought tears to my eyes.

Wishing you comfort and strength.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 672 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

I am so sorry NIK.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1630 | Registered: Mar 2004
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

No words. ((((((NIK))))))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((NIK)))

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
SweetheartVixen
Member
Member # 4956
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((((NIK))))) Im so sorry for your loss.


BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14


Posts: 3097 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: somewhere over the rainbow
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

(((NIK)))

It sounds like he was a wonderful man. I'm sorry for you loss and I will keep your family in my prayers.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1135 | Registered: Jul 2012
Feelthrownaway
Member
Member # 33772
Default  Posted: 9:43 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

I am so sorry for your loss NIK. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and father. (hugs)


BW- 48
FWH-49
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 22 years- together 25

What doesn't kill me, scars me.


Posts: 1013 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Down South
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

{{{NIK}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
knightsbff
Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)

((((NIK))))) I'm sorry for your sadness and grief. So happy you were able to be there with him for his peaceful passing and for your memories of his love. I'm glad the staff supported and cared for him and you all so well.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1424 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)

((NIK))

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing OK today.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
ISPIFFD
Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)

(((NIK))) I'm sorry you lost your father, but I'm glad you were able to be there with him at the end, to see him off.


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Plainsong is travelling (disconnected from the web), so I'll add her condolences, too.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10061 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)

(((nik)))

I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man, and father. Hold the good memories close to your heart.

Sending prayers.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1281 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, July 24th (Thursday)

((((NIK and family)))))


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
Must Survive
Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, July 24th (Thursday)

I just saw this.

Hugs to you and your family. What a blessing to be with your dad at the end.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 741 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, July 24th (Thursday)

(((((Nik and family)))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4619 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, July 24th (Thursday)

(((NIK))) I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad you were there with him. Treasure your memories. Sending you strength and love.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4513 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, July 24th (Thursday)

Dear NIK, what a beautiful tribute you posted to your Dad.
I'm sorry for your loss.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4661 | Registered: Oct 2007
FixYou71
Member
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, July 25th (Friday)

(((NICK))) Saying a prayer for you and your family.


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Married 1993

Posts: 451 | Registered: Mar 2014
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, July 25th (Friday)

((((NIK))) My love is going out to you and your family right now. My deepest condolences.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, August 4th (Monday)

"Today we bury his body, but not his soul; his hands, but not his good work; his heart, but not his love."
With those words, we said goodbye to Dad last week.

The services and the week's events would have pleased Dad very much - family and long time friends gathered together, sharing tears, memories, and much laughter. He would have beamed with pride over his children and their families posing for portraits together, would have loved the impromptu and highly competitive soccer game that broke out between his grandkids, and would have smiled as he availed himself of the steady stream of amazing food visited upon us all by the community.

I really want to thank you all. I have been surrounded by love and support these past few weeks, and the SI family has been a big part of that. I can't begin to describe how much that means to me.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25287 | Registered: Aug 2011
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, August 4th (Monday)

(((NIK and family))) I am sorry for your loss.

"Today we bury his body, but not his soul; his hands, but not his good work; his heart, but not his love."

This is truly a profound and beautiful truth! Peace.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9710 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, August 4th (Monday)

(((Nik and family)))

You are always in my heart and thoughts.


Posts: 35123 | Registered: Mar 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, August 4th (Monday)

Beautiful words, NIK.

Sending lots of love.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17284 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, August 4th (Monday)

Those are very powerful, uplifting, and positive words. I am sure he is honored.

((((NIK and family))))


Posts: 7017 | Registered: Dec 2010
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, August 4th (Monday)

Beautiful.

(((((((NIK)))))))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, August 4th (Monday)

(((NIK))) I'm so sorry for your loss.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15226 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, August 4th (Monday)

(((NIK)))

I am disappointed that you didn't jump into that soccer game though.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52125 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, August 4th (Monday)

Your family sounds pretty awesome.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17389 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Mama_of_3_Kids
Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, August 4th (Monday)

(((NIK)))


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11555 | Registered: Dec 2009
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, August 4th (Monday)

(((((((((NIK)))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5063 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 4th (Monday)

((((NIK))))

My deepest condolences for your loss.

((((NIK))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2585 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, August 4th (Monday)

What a wonderful celebration of his life, NIK.
{{{hugs}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry to hear this, NIK.

((((huge hugs))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
roseguide
Member
Member # 35697
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((nowiknow23)))

So sorry for your loss.


In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you. – Buddhist saying

Posts: 206 | Registered: May 2012 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 105