Off Topic
User Topic: Infidelity and now a serious illness, Help!
Member # 29991
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

I have survived two stretches of infidelity on behalf of my WH, and I just barely made it through with my sanity. Now two weeks after my beautiful daughter marries, she becomes deathly ill and is diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma. Why, why?

Please pray for her. Please add her to your prayer chain. She needs all the positive thoughts coming her way as possible in the upcoming weeks as she continues to battle the horrible pain she has been in and the Chemotherapy yet to come. Her name is Randi. Picture her here as you pray for her survival.
Thank you so much!

BW-51, WH-54, M-32yrs, 2 grown DD's, DD#1-OW#1 1988, DD#2,3,4,5,6,7,8-OW#2 9/10, 10/10, 12/11, 8/12, 10/12, 12/12, 2/13 Just too many to matter anymore.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Oregon
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 1:45 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Praying for her. My then-teenage niece fought a long, two year battle with cancer - and she won! So happy thoughts and good vibes from your neighbor state to the South.

Chemo is a real pain. Books, video games and if she can laugh, comedy shows. There''s something about laughter that makes the immune system kick back in.

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
Me: BH 42, Her: WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Ex-con for DV. Now with new ROs!

Posts: 762 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 2:09 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

My friend beat that 3 years ago. Sending prayers to your beautiful girl.

BS me 39
WH him 40
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

(((Once & DD)))

Saying prayers. Sending good thoughts and big hugs.

Posts: 36505 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 29431
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Prayers for your dd.

Hugs and strength for you both.

Me-BS 40's
Him-WH 40's
D-day April 2010

Posts: 719 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Oh I am so sorry! My dd just got married and I cannot fathom a worse way to begin a new life.

Prayers being sent for healing, patience, and guidance as you all navigate this course.

Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

Posts: 6647 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Oh Once, I'm so sorry. What a beautiful girl.

I will keep her in my thoughts and picture her healthy and whole again.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17715 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Randi is lovely, and will be in my prayers. She can win this battle--she will. But damn, life is unfair---and needs to stop lobbing balls at your head.

Millions of hugs to you.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9044 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Dear Once,
23 years ago this month, my exh was diagnosed with Hodgkins. He was given a 20% chance of living.... and after 10 mos of grueling chemo, he made it!
If you need a rainbow in this, Hodgkins is very treatable. .
Your beautiful daughter will get through this with prayer, laughter, love and support from her family.
Be good to yourself and your son in law, being a caregiver is hard work!
My kids were 5 and 8 at the time, I was terrified. That was the beginning of so many painful journeys for us, but we all made it.
Blessings to your baby girl, hopefully this is a distant memory in her lifetime!

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4707 | Registered: Oct 2007
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Adding prayers. Also have a friend that beat this!

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6683 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

Prayers are heading your way right now.

Posts: 402 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

As a fellow mom with a beautiful daughter, I can only imagine the immense worry and pain you are going through.
As a medical professional I want to assure you that even though she has a rough road ahead, this is totally treatable, and beatable.
Keep positive, and strong. You have the power of 40K people pulling for you here.

(((and strength))))

Also----If you work, and are planning on being a support for her, driving, helping at home etc. please please please get FMLA paperwork filled out sooner than later. This will help you and protect you should need to drop everything and be at her side.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8798 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, July 31st (Thursday)

What a lovely picture. I will keep her close in my thoughts as she fights this battle.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 31st (Thursday)

Prayers of healing for your beautiful DD.

Prayers of strength to you and her new H. Caring for a patient with cancer can be almost as grueling as the treatments are for the patient.

I don't know how much day to day care you'll be involved with but if you want any hints, tips or just want a shoulder to lean on you can PM me. I just went thru non-Hodgkins lymphoma with FWSO. He was in treatment for 3 years. He won his battle and I know your DD will too.

ETA: clarification

[This message edited by jrc1963 at 1:31 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]

Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24687 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 40568
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 31st (Thursday)

Prayers for your daughter and the friends and family who will see her through this.

Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9

Posts: 344 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 22028
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, July 31st (Thursday)

Sending prayers for your daughter and her doctors.

Me: BS (58)
Him: WS (59)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
Married 29 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again

Posts: 1071 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: DFW
Member # 29991
Default  Posted: 1:37 AM, August 1st (Friday)

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support, they are greatly appreciated. Final diagnosis from Randi's Oncologist today - Stage III Hodgkin Lymphoma, nodular sclerosis type. Chemo begins on Wednesday and will continue every two weeks for the next 4 - 6 months.
Our family is banding together for support and have already begun planning teams for an upcoming Race for the Cure.

We're in this one for all and all for one.

BW-51, WH-54, M-32yrs, 2 grown DD's, DD#1-OW#1 1988, DD#2,3,4,5,6,7,8-OW#2 9/10, 10/10, 12/11, 8/12, 10/12, 12/12, 2/13 Just too many to matter anymore.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Oregon
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, August 1st (Friday)

Prayers from me too.

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)

Adding Randi to my prayer group.

And sending strength to your family.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5552 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8190 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)

Your family is in my thoughts. She is a beautiful girl.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7826 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, August 3rd (Sunday)

Positive vibes heading your way. My mom beat Hod a few months ago. Keep can be beaten!!!

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5588 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 22