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User Topic: Delivery Room 3cm
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

This maybe TMI but I am 3cm dilated. And I still have not decided if he is coming into the delivery room.

He has met with my birth team and apologized and taken there abuse as well as going an talking to my dad and apologizing to him.

He has followed all the conditions I put in place and jumped through the hoops without hesitation.

But I am still just not sure.

Do I say no you can meet the baby after.
Or
Yes you can come.
Or
Come in but if you piss me off your out.

I just don't know.

[This message edited by BrokenDoe at 6:52 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)]


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
StillStanding1
Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

Do whatever brings you peace. The decision is yours. Many blessings to you and your new baby. Praying for a safe delivery and healthy baby!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 692 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
knutz
Member
Member # 28877
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

You know what? Right now you need to focus on YOU and your baby. You do what feels right in the moment. There is no right or wrong.

You can set up ground rules with him -- if you want him there for a while then he stays. The moment you say "go" - he goes. Have a code word so that he AND the staff know what it means. Have him stay at your head if you want.

YOU call the shots. Just try to focus on what is happening NOW -- not the past and not the future. Not today, sweetie. There will be plenty of time to sort through this stuff later.

I am praying for a safe and as little-as-possible-pain labor.


Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

Posts: 225 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: New England
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

I agree with the others that you do what makes you most comfortable.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52327 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

You do whatever the HELL you want and if that changes minute by minute he damn well better do it.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Landoes
Member
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

Like others have said, do whatever you feel is right. I, too, found out about the A during her pregnancy. It's certainly very emotional, and you might say things you regret later. I know I did.
Congrats on your new family member!

Posts: 70 | Registered: Aug 2013
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

Well things seem to have slowed down tonight. So I guess I get some more time to think about it.


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
hopefulmom44
Member
Member # 44136
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

Congratulations! Please focus on you and baby. If you think he will be a distraction, then leave him out.

Posts: 99 | Registered: Jul 2014
BtraydWife
Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 5th (Tuesday)

Go with whatever your gut says, you can always change your mind.

Hang in there mama.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1762 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Rubix
Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Do what's right for you honey. If he is going to stress you out simply by being there then let him wait till after. If you want him there as support then go ahead. Congratulations :). Let us know when little one is here :).


BW: me (25)WH: him (29-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

My hopes are you are holding that little one and my post it too late. Do what you need to do! Easy delivery vibes and best wishes!!


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1000 | Registered: Dec 2013
RomanticInnocenc
Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Oh I hope baby doe has already arrived! If not, just do what feels right in the moment. Don't worry about his feelings, if he was so concerned about being in the room then maybe he should have thought about that before!

Good luck, I hope it goes well!

((Brokendoe))


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: 6 months old
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Delilah169
Member
Member # 43689
Funny  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

(((BrokenDoe)))

I'm assuming the baby has come - congratulations! I hope it all went well for you.

I don't know what decision you finally made, I hope it was whatever YOU needed and made you comfortable.

Many prayers for you and your new baby. I know with all my heart this miracle will grow up in a home filled with joy and love, no matter what happens in the future.


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 21 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2014
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Nope labour has stalled grr?!?

So just very uncomfortable and waiting at home again now.


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
steppingup
Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

I know you are cautious about this, but if they baby is both your's and his, then of course once the delivery is done and you are comfortable, invite him in. However, IMHO you do not owe him the chance to see the delivery. Might actually be a good lesson for him to "miss out" on magical moments that only come once.

edits - oh I should have added. "May God richly bless you and this precious child all the days of your life" Step.

[This message edited by steppingup at 10:35 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)]


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 427 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
CB217
New Member
Member # 44245
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

So sorry you are going through this. I just had my baby girl 12 days ago & found out in May my H was cheating with coworkers. I was sick the first 7 months of my pregnancy & heartbroken for the last 2, and I'm still dealing with so much emotional turmoil that I feel like it's taken away from the enjoyment and bonding I should be focused on.

I let my H in the delivery room because I felt like I needed his support. Really I just held his hand. I was scared of getting emotional with him there, but everything turned out fine. Easy delivery, healthy baby, and no breakdown.

Think about what you need during your labor and trust yourself. There's no right or wrong way if it's how you want it. Sending you prayers and support


Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

(((BD)))

Do what feels right for you. Don't worry what anyone else says or thinks. They aren't in your shoes, and don't know.

BTW, I walked around at 3 cm and fully effaced for 3 weeks. My recommendation to you is to be as active as you can. Your little one will come when they are ready, and not before.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8599 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, August 6th (Wednesday)

So now it's my turn to put in my 2 cents.
Call me the Devil's advocate if you need to, but, think very carefully about this. You can never take it back. It is so hard to do the right thing, but in the end, you must do what works best for you. Just make sure that if you ban him from the delivery room that it is for the right reasons and not a form of revenge. I know it's so much easier said then done, but show him why he loved you in the first place. Show him what an a$$hole he has been. Show him that you are worth fighting for. That you are a prize and he should be humbled and ashamed. If you can do that, great. If you can't do it; if it will make it too hard on you, so be it. His actions have brought this on himself. Just remember whatever you do, you will have to live with it. I am a great believer in two wrongs never making a right. But, I also believe in the karma bus too. I understand that he doesn't deserve any special treatment, but they never think of all the consequences when they do their stupid cheating.
I hope things go well for you. No matter what happens, try to enjoy the birth of your baby. Life is so precious.
t/j Please everyone, no 2x4's for me. I am on BrokenDoe's side but felt that it should be stated. Someone has to do the hard stuff sometimes.

Posts: 1227 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
Alonelyagain
Member
Member # 32820
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

I'm a BH, but have a different slant for you to consider: was your WH present for the birth of your other 2 children? If so, what will your response be, if you R, to your 3d child finding out that WH was present for those earlier births, but not for his/hers.

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New Jersey
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

I only have one other child but I see what you mean.


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
Delilah169
Member
Member # 43689
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry you had to go home! That sucks; I assumed it was all over by now. I will keep sending good thoughts your way.

A couple of the new posts make sense. The baby knowing "dad" wasn't there. The revenge factor.

But in the long run, none of that matters. What matters is whatever makes YOU comfortable. Lots of dads aren't there, and there's lots of reasons for it. That's a way in the future issue.

You need to deal with the here and now. On the upside, if he is there, you can abuse him and yell at him a lot; everyone does during delivery. . .


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 21 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2014
blindsided81
Member
Member # 44206
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Go with your instincts. Whatever is helpful to you. This is all that matters!


Me, BW 51
WH, 47
OW, ttw (trailer trash whore)
DD, 7/21/14
Separated, divorcing his ass as soon as I possibly can!!

Posts: 112 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: North Carolina
Tigaress
Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Hey there! I assume I'm probably too late and baby is already here so I won't give you my two cents ;-) But hope all went well!!

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
Althea
Member
Member # 37765
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Just dropping in to say that I'm thinking of you and that sweet new baby. My birth team was amazing for DD #3 and I felt so loved and cared for. WH's presence was not a huge factor either way. I hope the same was true for you.


Taking it one day at a time.

Posts: 457 | Registered: Dec 2012
12yearsloyal
Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Congrats! As the others say, do what is best for you. He can wait in the hallway and he is still there for the birth if the child asks down the road.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)

Jumping jacks....long walks....jumping jacks.....scrub a floor.....

C'mon baby! We wanna hear about you!

So frustrated for you that you had to go home.

Stay hydrated. It will come....


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
RawDeal75
Member
Member # 42495
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

I agree with other posters here. Go with your gut and think about YOU.

I do think Alonelyagain and Devastated30 bring up good points though, especially considering many couples actually manage to R after all. If you end up divorcing, in the long run, would it matter to you if he was there or not?

I hope all works out smoothly for you during delivery! Keeping my fingers crossed! Good luck and congratulations!


Me: BH, 39. Her: WW, 39. Two kids: 3&5
Together 21 yrs. Married 13 yrs.

D-day #2 Jan 18, 2014: 12 month EA/PA (AP#3)+ admission of 5 month EA/PA in 1994 (AP#1).
D-day #1 May 2001: 2 month EA/PA (AP#2)


Posts: 54 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Europe
Delilah169
Member
Member # 43689
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Broken, I hope you haven't posted recently b/c the baby finally came. ..

Please keep us posted, I at least, and I think we all, are on pins and needles.

About the sweet baby, and your decision.

I truly hope all is well.

(((((Hugs)))))


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 21 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2014
steppingup
Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Yes, where is the baby. I love fresh baby smell, so sweet.


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 427 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Waters broken. Just heading back to town now. Feeling hopeful.


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
hopingforhappy
Member
Member # 29288
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

If your water has broken, something will happen--or the docs will make it happen! Good luck to you and your beautiful baby.


Me--BW (56)
Him--FWH (53)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 20 years
DS-18, DD-15
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!

Posts: 1318 | Registered: Aug 2010
Losttransport
Member
Member # 39409
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Good luck! Prayers for a safe delivery and sweet baby soon :)


Me: BS-42
Hubby: FWS-42
OW: former friend of mine
EA from ? to 3-15-12
3 DD, 1 DS
Time heals all wounds-I do not agree.

Posts: 95 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

If he's not being a jerk, please consider allowing him to be there. We mothers sacrifice a lot for our children--sometimes too much--but this is a biggie. I would put my child first. Not me. Not my WH. My baby.

My SLAWH was deployed when our first was born. We've tried to focus on that being unique and positive, but I know there are times she feels less special and less important. If I could have given her a daddy in that birthing room, I'd do it. Granted, he hadn't cheated then, so I realize that from a mother's standpoint, it's apples and oranges, but from a baby's, it's exactly the same.

I think it pays to be magnanimous here. If he's being supportive, allow him to stay. He'll always be the daddy even if he isn't always the husband.

More than anything, best wishes and hugs. You truly should NOT be worrying over something like this at a time like this. I'd love to have a magic wand and make it all poof. Much love.


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 459 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Woo Hoo, broken water means a you will not be sent home this time.

(((and strength, and a speedy, easy delivery))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8599 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Delilah169
Member
Member # 43689
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 7th (Thursday)

Thanks for the update! Water breaking, awesome. Won't be long now.

Good luck, speedy and painfree (lol) delivery wishes to you.

Keep up updated please.

And whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for YOU. And you matter. . . .

(((Hugs)))


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 21 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2014
CB217
New Member
Member # 44245
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

Whatever you decide will be the right thing for you. Early congrats on the new baby. Wishing you an easy delivery of a healthy bouncing baby.

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

Sending SI mojo for an easy delivery and a healthy baby.

Grabbing the popcorn..


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5162 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
ChangeMaker
Member
Member # 43899
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

I'm glad I'm not the only one on the edge of my seat!

Good luck Doe!


"Everything works if you let it." - Travis W. Redfish

DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Ontario
NobleHeart
New Member
Member # 44414
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

If I were you, I wouldn't let him come near me! But then again, I am pissed for what just happened to me.

On the other hand, you can let him in and show him that you are a better person!

May God bless you and your baby!


Left his ass!

Posts: 13 | Registered: Aug 2014
determinata
Member
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

First off---
You are having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a wonderful (and hard!) thing. But mostly wonderful.

The emphasis is what makes this good for YOU.
Not your husband.
Not your extended family.
Not your kids in the future. (You can tell them any reason he wasn't there--including the truth.)
You, right now.

If you want him out, put him out.
If you want him in but only attending to business with no lovey-dovey, do that.
If you want to pretend all is well for the duration of your labor and do the love-dove thing, do that.

Giving birth is a life and death exercise. You do whatever it takes to get you and the babe through. You are not the first nor last woman whose child's father will not be in the delivery room, if you make that choice. Please understand it is not a revolutionary nor life-altering choice. You are the one who counts right now.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
BrokenDoe
New Member
Member # 44077
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

9:45 pm
19 inches
9lbs 1 oz
Healthy baby Buck.

Husband stayed in room. As did grandma and friend.

Thank you everyone for warm wishes and prayers.


BW 32
WH 32
Married 6 together 10, friends 20
DDay July 2 2014
Children DD 3yr & 1DS 1month

Planing on giving birth, then sorting things out.
*update* perfect little boy born


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Ontario
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, August 7th (Thursday)

Congratulations!!! I'm so, so excited for you and Baby Doe. :)


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 459 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Hopeful74
Member
Member # 44003
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats!!!!


Me: BW 39 Him:WH 37 (M)12 years; (T)18 years -2 DD: 16; 3; 1 DS: 9
Separated, headed for Divorce-he's not strong enough for me
'Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place.' -

Posts: 302 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Hampton, VA
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8729 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
momentintime
Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, August 8th (Friday)

All the best to you and yours. Enjoy this time and make decisions later. Welcome new little person to this great big world.

[This message edited by momentintime at 1:09 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2982 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
deeplysad
Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations your new wonderful baby!!!


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3241 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Waiting4Daylite
Member
Member # 36213
Default  Posted: 3:07 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!!!!!!!

Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jul 2012
Rubix
Member
Member # 44099
Default  Posted: 4:43 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations! :D.


BW: me (25)WH: him (29-RemorsefulHubby)
kids: mine:DD 5 ours:DS new born. Days old.
Married: 5 months
D-Day: 13/06/2014 - craigslist account. Secret hotmail account.
D-Day 2: 9/8/2014 find out he cheated a week before our wedding

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Northamptonshire
knutz
Member
Member # 28877
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!


Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

Posts: 225 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: New England
childofcheater
Member
Member # 33887
Default  Posted: 6:04 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!!!


Me: 36 yo, him 35
Married 14 years together 18
3 kids: DD9, DD7, DS4
DDay 2/9/12 found suspicious text to coworker
Status: in R, work in progress

Posts: 298 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: East Coast
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, August 8th (Friday)

That is wonderful news BrokenDoe. Sounds like a good weight etc. I hope you are doing well and that your future becomes so much brighter. Hugs to you.

Posts: 1227 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
ChangeMaker
Member
Member # 43899
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Hooray! Congratulations!


"Everything works if you let it." - Travis W. Redfish

DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Ontario
sinsof thefather
Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Tigaress
Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations :-)

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
determinata
Member
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, August 8th (Friday)

CONGRATULATIONS.

Newborns are the best.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2013
sudra
Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations. Enjoy this child!


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1479 | Registered: Nov 2010
RawDeal75
Member
Member # 42495
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Wow! Fantastic! Congratulations! I am so happy for you and your newborn. :-)


Me: BH, 39. Her: WW, 39. Two kids: 3&5
Together 21 yrs. Married 13 yrs.

D-day #2 Jan 18, 2014: 12 month EA/PA (AP#3)+ admission of 5 month EA/PA in 1994 (AP#1).
D-day #1 May 2001: 2 month EA/PA (AP#2)


Posts: 54 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Europe
OK now
Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Well done!

Glad your son is healthy and you did let WH stay in the room. I hope he acknowledges and appreciates the privilege you accorded him.


Posts: 1720 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Numb2014
Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, August 8th (Friday)

I can tell you what I did. I found out about ex first affair 3 days before I was due to give birth. I let him in, only because I didn't want what he did to us to affect any future relationship with dd. I felt that if I did not let him in the room, and we decided to R, that I would regret he missed that moment. OR if we decided not to R and he didn't bond with dd, I would have felt guilty. Not saying that is the case at all, just my thought process during it all. He was there when she was born. He bonded with her. And even though we didn't R until she was 1 1/2, I had not regrets letting him be int eh room. My ex would have held a life long grudge though....


I don't know your story, but just wanted to share how I processed it all...


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats! !! Hooray.
That's a big baby.
Enjoy this time focus on your wee one. The rest can be dealt with later.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8599 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Well, that''s definitely keeper size! Congratulations and (((hugs)))!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Thinkingtoomuch
Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, August 8th (Friday)

Yeah, BabyDoe! Congratulations!

And to think, it all "started" with 3 cms!

That's one big baby Buck! So happy for you.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Apr 2011
Scubadoo
Member
Member # 43079
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations !!


BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13
8mth

Posts: 102 | Registered: Apr 2014
Delilah169
Member
Member # 43689
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Well done BD and congratulations!! As someone said, definitely a keeper lol.

I hope the delivery went well. I think I'm glad you let him stay, let him see what a miracle the TWO of you created together. He'll never see that with his OW. Hope you abused him a lot during the labor though, good time to get away with it!

Again, congrats. Happy thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Now just enjoy that new baby. Worry about everything else later.


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 21 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2014
BtraydWife
Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations!!!!


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1762 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Feelthrownaway
Member
Member # 33772
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats !!!


BW- 48
FWH-49
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 23 years- together 25

What doesn't kill me, scars me.


Posts: 1040 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Down South
cvs2kkids
Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats on quite the size baby.

And I believe it was good to allow BH in the room.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
GonnaGetThru
Member
Member # 38817
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations! :)


BW (me): 30
WH (him): 31
Taking R one day at a time

"Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth."


Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: North Carolina
CB217
New Member
Member # 44245
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats! How are you doing after all that hard work?! That's a good size little man.

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014
StillStanding1
Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congratulations on your (not so little) Buck!!!! I hope you are doing well!!!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 692 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
SunshineSoul
Member
Member # 43374
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Congrats!


Me = BS, 36
Him = WH, 42
2 beautiful kids: 6yo & 11 month old.
Married since 2001, together since 1998.
Dday = Feb 20, 2014.

It's just not that simple.


Posts: 85 | Registered: May 2014 | From: West Coast
theroadahead
Member
Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 9th (Saturday)

Congrats on the birth of baby buck. Hope the delivery went as well as deliveries can go.


Me: BW(45)
Him: WH (45)
4 kids
Married 22 years

D-Day #1 March 2002- 4 month EA and PA with co -worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - inappropriate relationship with co-worker

In R


Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

Yay!

Rest while you can. Drink your water. Love on your baby buck.

Congratulations.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

Congrats!!!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2872 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

Awww! Congratulations, MommaDoe!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25530 | Registered: Aug 2011
southernmess
New Member
Member # 44325
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 14th (Thursday)

Broken doe >> ~PRAYERS FOR YOU & BABY~congratulations!!!

[This message edited by southernmess at 6:55 PM, August 14th (Thursday)]


BLINDSIDED HEALING

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: southernmess
Hrtbrken1
Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, August 14th (Thursday)

Congrats!! Just love on that baby, everything else can wait


Me-BW
Him-WH
Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
Topic Posts: 78