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User Topic: My Sammy is gone
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Helpless  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 8th (Friday)

My Sammy is gone. She went peacefully with her head on my shoulder.

I'll post more later. I just can't do it right now

*Update*

At 1pm yesterday I had to put my Sammy down. Her walking got worse and the vet thought she may have "cranial" issues (possibly cancer) because of some strange behaviors. Yesterday morning she could barely walk. I knew it was time. It doesn't help, but I knew

I spent my last moments with her cuddled on the floor and petting her. She purred.

At the vet's office she was on a towel on the exam table. She crawled over to me and I dropped to my knees so I could be as close to her as possible. She buried her head on my shoulder. The same shoulder she crawled onto the day she picked me at the shelter. She has been on that shoulder for 18 yrs.

She went peacefully. I pet her the entire time and gave her plenty of kisses. I kept telling her "mommy loves you" and "you're my love." I hope she heard me. She left my world with dignity and grace, as it should be.

She was my cat and I was her person. She will always be in my heart.

Me and my Sammy at her last morning

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 7:27 PM, August 9th (Saturday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, August 8th (Friday)

((( simplydev )))


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Waiting4Daylite
Member
Member # 36213
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, August 8th (Friday)

((((Simplydevastated)))

Posts: 1794 | Registered: Jul 2012
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, August 8th (Friday)

((Simply and Sammy))

I'm sorry


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7658 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
imagoodwitch
Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I'm sorry.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5393 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((hugs))) I am so sorry.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
cass
Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((sd))))


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Thank you everyone


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I am so sorry for your loss.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6740 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((SD)))

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Posts: 35249 | Registered: Mar 2011
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((SD And Sammy))))
Their losses hurt too much.
May warm memories of furry livings ease your pain.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8530 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((SD and Sammy)))

I'm so sorry.


Posts: 11674 | Registered: Mar 2008
deeplysad
Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I'm so sorry for your loss

(((hugs)))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3235 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Oh hon I'm so sorry. Wish I could give you a big hug. My heart just aches for you.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17364 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Myname
Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I'm sorry.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3028 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I'm sorry for your lost of Sammy...


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1593 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I'm so sorry.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Oct 2007
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Just now saw this.

I am so sorry for your loss. ((((SD))))


Posts: 7111 | Registered: Dec 2010
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, August 8th (Friday)

Oh SD. I''m so sorry.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20180 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I am sorry. SD.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2290 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 8th (Friday)

I am so sorry, SD. Losing a beloved pet is losing a member of your family. Hugs...


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2469 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((((SD))))) I'm so very sorry, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25383 | Registered: Aug 2011
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, August 8th (Friday)

(((((((SD)))))))))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17394 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
norabird
Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, August 8th (Friday)

((((SD))))

((((Sammy))))

It seems like, of all possible passings, this must have been the best for both of you--peaceful and together.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4173 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 9th (Saturday)

Oh, no! I'm so very sorry


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8706 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, August 9th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry.

((((((sd)))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5107 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, August 9th (Saturday)

You were there with her. The last thing she saw and felt was your love.

You did good.

{{{hugs}}}

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6553 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
happenedtome
Member
Member # 6042
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

(((((SD))))). I am so sorry.

Posts: 228 | Registered: Dec 2004
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

I'm so very sorry.

((((huge hugs))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
gypsybird87
Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

((((SD)))))

Enormous hugs to you. I'm so sorry.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 827 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

Thank you for all your support and hugs. They mean a lot to me.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Audrina
Member
Member # 31522
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, August 9th (Saturday)

AW...I am sooo sorry. I am sure that Sammy felt your love during her last moments. Cherish the memories.
I have some 4 legged friends in Heaven who will take good care of her.

Big hugs.


Me (betrayed): 35
Him:45


Posts: 266 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Canada
Afraid2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, August 10th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry--Sammy will always be there on your shoulder.
(((SimplyDevastated)))


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 420 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, August 10th (Sunday)

So sorry for your loss SD. (((hugs)))


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1139 | Registered: Jul 2012
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, August 10th (Sunday)

Thank you Audrina, that is so sweet.

Thank you everyone for the continued support. I miss her so much. I keep thinking who's going lay on my chest now? Who's going to keep my toes warm at the dinner table and at my desk? Who's going to push me off my office chair while I'm writing?

We still have one sweet kitty, but I want my Sammy back.

We started moving today. I opened the stockings container and Sammy's stocking was right on top. I was going to make new stockings this year, too.

We're going to make her a head stone out of those mosaic stepping stones you get in the craft stores. We started looking at them today.

I miss my kitty

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 5:33 PM, August 10th (Sunday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Jomarion
Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, August 11th (Monday)

Simply Devestated, such a hole is left in one's life when a beloved pet dies. The cuddles, the silly and comforting things they do they now will do no more. When a beloved pet dies, my body, unconsciously it seems, 'searches' for the pet - I reach out my hand - but he is not there - I wait for the morning meow at the food bowl - but there is no meow. The longing is so painful.

The memorial you plan on making for Sammy is a wonderful way to remember and honor his life.

My sympathy to you. I am happy Sammy had such a loving person to care for him in his life. Sounds like he knew that too. I feel certain he misses and remembers and continues to love you too.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, August 11th (Monday)

(((((((SD)))))))))

RIP, beautiful Sammy.


Posts: 3387 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, August 11th (Monday)

Jomarion, I know how that is. Sammy made a bed out son's old toddler arm chair. The chair is directly across from my bedroom door in the living room. I keep looking at the the chair in the morning hoping get to see her there.

I also look under my desk every evening before I go to bed. I've done that every night for years to make sure I didn't shut her in my room at night with no access to the litter box or food bowls. She reminded me of the cat at the end (or beginning) of the Flintstone cartoons. Fred would put the cat out and it would jump through the window and Fred would be locked out. That was Sammy. I would put her in the living room at night, I would turn my back to go back into my room and she would run back in. We did this three times each night.

She always sat behind my head on the back of the sofa. She would either clean my hair or put her paw on the top of my head. There was a few times she would slip off the back and land on my shoulder

She was silly.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, August 11th (Monday)

(((simplydevastated))) I'm so sorry. (((sammy)))


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9716 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, August 11th (Monday)

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6740 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
TheRealDeal
Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, August 11th (Monday)

(((((SD)))))I'm so sorry to hear. Yes, I'm sure Sammy knew he was greatly loved.

I'm missing my Opie who I recently lost and miss terribly.
My vet sent me a card which had this verse "some friends come into our lives and quickly go, Others stay for a while and leave pawprints on our hearts" It is so true.

Opie, and all my others before him, are there to greet Sammy with a gentle meow.

many, many, many hugs to you as you grieve for your friend


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 249 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 11th (Monday)

Aaawww..... My heart goes out to you.....she was beautiful and I am so sorry for your loss. (((((simplydev))))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15232 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Jomarion
Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, August 11th (Monday)

Simply devastated, I had a cat that used to sit on the back of my chair too while I did my writing. His name was Darling. He and I used to go to sleep 'hand in paw' at night. (I think the order on the bed was husband, dog, me, and cat.) In the mornings if I overslept he would try to open my eyelids gently with his paws. It was terrible when he died. He left a huge void in my heart and life. Many people without animals cannot understand this.

I love the picture in my mind of you sitting in your chair with Sammy's paw on your head! It sounds like she was tuning in to your chakras ( did I spell that correctly?)Sammy sounds like a very fun cat with tons of personality. Must have made you laugh a lot.

You must really miss her.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Mommato4
Member
Member # 15906
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, August 11th (Monday)

I'm sorry.


Updated 2014:
BS-me 41
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/08

SO-5 years together-he decided to end it by cheating too


Posts: 1378 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 11th (Monday)

So sorry.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 5:57 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)

(((SD))) I'm so sorry


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197809 | Registered: May 2002
Edie
Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)

(((Simply)))


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5115 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
deena04
Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 977 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 48